Free
by Cedfia123
Summary: Her charmed childhood had only been an illusion. A smoke screen for an adulthood spent as a commodity of the crown. But now her prince's unexpected death leaves Sofia a young widow. No longer required to make a good match or live under the expectations of a royal husband. For the first time in Fifteen years she might actually be free.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So new story. I can't seem to stick to writing just one at a time. If anyone reading this is also following 'once upon a time' I promise I'll have a new chapter of that out tomorrow morning-ish. But I've been working on this a while and I felt like I would lose my nerve if I didn't just post it already.**

 **This story takes place way in the future and I started it because I really felt like even though I claim to be a feminist in real life, I don't seem to commit to writing really strong female characters. Whenever I write Sofia I inevitably fall into Cedric's voice and make her a supporting character in her own story. So I'm going to try not to do that this time. In wanting to make Sofia more real to me, I inevitably made her older, because I can no longer relate to 18 year olds. I have no idea how well I'll succeed at any of this, but I figure I'd give it a try. So…**

 **Disclaimer: Cedric is 53 in this story and Sofia is 35 (really, really an adult). Disney owns them and anyone else you recognize. I'm just spinning the clock out for them.**

1.

The sun made a weak effort to peak through the clouds just as the castle came into view, looking for all the world like a tiny toy meant to be played with by a child. They were still a good distance away but Sofia realized how much the fairytale façade lent credence to the idea this was a place where dreams could come true.

As a child the first sight of it on the horizon would always make her breath catch. The shimmering ivory white of the marble towers. The multicolored rooves that reflected the sun as though it were dancing on their surfaces. The way the original King of Enchancia had picked the perfect spot, nestled in a wood of storybook beauty, surrounded by gleaming, blue waters.

She'd felt so lucky to get to live there once upon a time.

After all fairytales always ended with the Prince and Princess marrying and living happily ever after, but her mother had married a King and made _her_ a princess. So Sofia had expected her fairytale must just be beginning.

As she smoothed down the black velvet of her gown, she gave a rueful smile. She'd had an enchanted childhood. One most children could only dream of. How else could she have remained so naïve to the truths of life for so long?

She wasn't a child any longer though and as the coach made its approach she found herself relieved to see Baileywick waiting on the steps for her. The message she'd sent ahead of her arrival would only have gotten here a few hour ago at best.

She knew the King didn't like to have his routine disturbed, especially on such short notice. And even though she had no desire for a full court welcome, she did need a little of his time, and knew if he'd been upset by her unexpected visit she would have found herself left quite alone on the front steps.

"Princess Sofia!" The castle steward gave her a formal bow, before holding out his hand to help her down from the coach.

"Hello Baileywick," she returned, her face crinkling into a warm smile as she tried not to put too much of her weight on the dear old man.

"We just got your message. I hope everything is alright." He said as they began making their way up the steps.

Sofia could see how difficult they were for him now and tried her best to make it look as though he were helping her when really she was doing her best to help him.

"Everything is…," she hesitated to answer. She knew there was an expectation she should be crushed by the events of the last six months, even if the truth was she felt a great deal less than others wanted her too. "…as good as can be expected." She finally settled on. "But I need to speak with the King as soon as possible. There are a few things I'd like to have his assurance of…in person."

She saw one of Baileywick's eyebrows creep up his forehead, but whatever he was thinking he kept it to himself.

"As it turns out, the Golden Wing Circus is in town this week and James and Vivian have taken the little royals for the afternoon show. So you'll have King Rolland all to yourself at lunch. I thought conversation over food might make everything a little easier."

Sofia squeezed the steward's arm gratefully as they walked into the castle.

"Thank you Baileywick."

While they made their way to the banquet hall, Sofia looked around the castle and felt herself smile. There had been a time when returning home had been a sad and gloomy affair. The air of grief that hung over the whole of the place after her mother's death had lasted for many years.

But in Vivian's unassuming way she'd begun quietly bringing sunshine back into the castle and when she'd given James and Enchancia not one but two beautiful heirs, real joy had seeped back into the walls and the people within them.

Though Sofia would probably never get used to seeing this place without her mother in it, she was happy it didn't feel like a mausoleum any longer.

"Here you are Princess Sofia. I'll have Violet get your things settled in your old room and if you need anything at all, you know what to do." Baileywick smiled at her and bowed again, before leaving her at the hall doors.

Smoothing a hand over her hair and skirts one last time, Sofia took a deep breath, and walked into the large, mostly empty room.

The midday sun was streaming in steadily now and at the head of the long table, sitting by himself, a slight scowl on his face as he looked over some papers, was her step-father. She knew he'd heard her enter, yet he didn't bother to look up.

Looking him over as he willfully ignored her, brought all the grief of her mother's death tumbling back down. He was a different person now, older and grayer most assuredly, but that wasn't what caused her sorrow. It was the visible hardness of him. He was colder now, harsher. Even the births of five grandchildren hadn't been able to resurrect the part of him that went into the ground with her mother.

Which was why Sofia so desperately wanted to have this conversation face to face. Why she needed to look in to his eyes and see his agreement to her request, rather than get it second hand or in writing. For all he had been altered, King Rolland II's word was still his bond. He would never be able to look her in the eye and then forget, conveniently or otherwise, what he'd promised.

Sofia stopped short, just a few inches from his right hand and cleared her throat, even as she bent into a respectful curtsey.

"Your Majesty," she intoned quietly, as she looked up at him through her lashes.

Finally, he seemed ready to acknowledge her.

Putting down the papers, he turned and gave her an appraising look. She knew as she'd grown she had come to resemble her mother less and less. Her hair had darkened slightly but never lost its red overtones so that now it had the hew of highly polished cherry wood. She was still startlingly petite and her figure tended towards voluptuousness rather than Miranda's willowy, statuesque beauty. Her skin was still quiet pale instead of having her mother's golden glow, though that one thing might be blamed on Freezenburg's complete lack of reliable sunlight. She wondered now if she would fare better or worse with him for not reminding him of what he'd lost.

"Sofia, sit." He gestured to the chair next to him, the one which had always been her mother's.

"Thank you," she answered, feeling a little of the stress eek out of her.

"What was it you wanted to discuss with me?" He got straight to the point, perhaps knowing she had as little desire to beat about the bush as he did. But despite his blunt words his tone was even, no hint of anger or frustration, two things she was sure he'd come to associate with her over the years.

"I'd like your word." She began, staring him boldly in the eye.

.o~O*O~o.

Several hours later she emerged from the banquet hall tired, but quietly elated.

She'd ventured with the King and won.

He had been difficult at first, attempting to bend her to his way of thinking as he had so many years ago. But she wasn't a doe eyed nineteen-year old girl anymore, desperate to please and believing herself beholden to this man for grandness of her life.

She'd spent fifteen years alone, holding her own in a foreign court. Fighting for her right to be heard and respected by a husband and father-in-law who often thought a woman's place was a submissive and silent three paces behind her menfolk. Struggling to bring her 'outlandishly childish' ideas of egalitarianism and common human decency to a place where the gap between the nobility and the peasantry they gained their wealth off the backs of was so wide it was barely believable.

She was thirty-five now, a widow, a champion of her adopted people, and the mother of the next King. Sofia was fairly certain Rolland had found her a more formidable opponent than last time.

As Sofia mused, her steps brought her to the kitchen where she said a fond hello to Chef Andre and introduced herself to the many new faces, before begging a tray of cookies and a pot of tea.

"Strawberry just as you like." He proclaimed, obviously proud of himself for remembering.

"They are my favorites," she agreed before pointing a finger at a plate in the far corner. "But could I beg some of the chocolate ones as well?"

Chef Andre gave her a puzzled look but then rushed over and began loading another plate for her.

"Of course Princess!" He hurried back, making room on the tray she was holding and carefully placing the new plate next to the one already laden with pretty pink cookies.

"Thank you!" Sofia said, turning and giving the whole room a bright smile before disappearing out the side door.

Spring was falling on Enchancia slowly, but after so many years in a land where the ground never thawed, she was already feeling quite warm. Still she thought it might be best not to suggest going outside for tea, no matter how inviting the sunlight was.

A few more minutes and many determined steps later, Sofia found herself standing in front of a large wooden door. Smiling fondly at the two statues flanking its expanse, she remembered how much they'd frightened her as a little girl. As though they were an ordeal she needed to pass through before receiving the reward of entry to the mystical land beyond.

Now she just thought they were ugly. Ugly and oddly endearing in their ability to make her anxious for what came next.

Rebalancing the tray on one hand, Sofia knocked gently.

There was the sound of a muffled curse from within and then a long suffering sigh.

"Yes, yes, come in, you're going to anyway!"

Shaking her head, even as a genuine warmth spread from her heart all the way out to her extremities, Sofia took the wrought iron knob in hand and pushed the door open.

His back was to her as he sat on his red velvet cushioned chair, hunched over a spell book at his worktable. Sofia could see the quill in his hand and the ink stains on his fingers as he made diligent annotations to something or other.

"What do you want?" He called over his shoulder rudely, not bothering to look up from his task.

Leaning up against the doorway she took in what she could of him. It had been hardly more than a year since she'd last seen him, but every time their paths crossed, she was startled by how his form no longer matched the image of him she held in her memory.

He was still tall and thin, but age had thickened him a bit, adding a much needed padding to the frame that had once been so painfully gaunt. The gray in his hair was no longer confined to his bangs, but had spread all the way back, so it was finally all one color. Despite this it had lost none of its silky thickness, and she still had to tamp down on the desire of her hands to run through it.

Sofia found herself feeling anxious flutterings in her stomach, wanting him to turn around so she could see the rest of him.

Cocking an eyebrow, she screwed up her courage. "I was hoping to have tea with an old friend."

At the sound of her voice, quiet but teasingly confident, his back straightened and the quill dropped from his grasp. He went very still for a moment as though he weren't sure he should believe his ears. Then slowly he began to pivot around on his chair.

His face was surprisingly unchanged and Sofia felt such relief when she saw his familiar brown eyes and long, distinguished nose. He wore glasses now, and there were a few more lines, a few more crags, to his beloved face, but otherwise he was unmistakably her sorcerer.

Thin lips curled up in the smallest of smiles and Sofia detected the slightest tremble in his long, elegant fingers as they pulled off his spectacles.

"Princess," the word was barely a whisper.

"Master Sorcerer," she responded, giving him an irreverent smile, and bowing slightly.

"No one told me you were coming home." He said it almost as if he were apologizing.

Hearing the tea pot and plates rattle from her movements, he suddenly stood and rushed over to take them from her, placing them on the barrel that sometimes held stray potion bottles but was at the moment bare.

"I only just arrived a few hours ago. I've been with the King the whole time."

Her words were light, simply stating the fact, but it seemed both of them were drawn back into memories of the last time she'd come to him directly from the king….

 _The final ingredient was ready to go into the potion. Cedric carefully tapped the vial into his palm three times, getting exactly three of the small crystals situated in the cup of his hand._

" _Once I add these three crystalized griffin tears Wormy, I'll finally have the power to change old socks into monsoons!" He all but cackled._

 _Why he should want such a power hadn't really occurred to Cedric, but then there was a great deal of magic one did because one could and not necessarily because one should. Besides he was fairly certain such a power would come in handy someday, even if he didn't need it today, or have any socks to spare._

 _Still as royal sorcerer it was his job to be prepared. And Merlin knew he'd been asked for stranger things in his life._

 _Just as he was about to drop in the last crystal, the door to his workshop was flung open, slamming into the wall behind. It startled him so, he lost his grip on the small vial and all the griffin tears fell into the brew right along with their container, causing the potion to explode in his face._

" _PROSPERO'S PICKLES!" He screamed, "Just look what you've d…." All his anger melted away as did his breath to finish the scolding that had been leaping off his tongue just seconds before._

 _Sofia was standing in his doorway utter panic completely eclipsing the look of sunny serenity which normally resided on her sweet face._

" _Oh Mr. Cedric!"_

 _Her expression crumpled completely as she flung herself at him._

 _Not knowing what to make of any of it, he found himself simply standing there, arms held aloft, as the girl practically strangled the life out of him with the ferocity of her embrace._

 _Every moment he did nothing Sofia felt herself growing more desperate. If she was a different person, perhaps more like Amber, she would have just yelled at him to hug her back already. But she wasn't. It wasn't in her nature to demand of others what they wouldn't freely give, especially not for her own benefit. And despite his many wonderful qualities, Cedric had never been a hugger, or a nurturer of any kind really._

 _Pulling back just slightly she took in his scandalized expression._

 _She'd ambushed him with many a hug over the years, but they'd always been exuberant, joyful expressions of her affection for him. Not the passionate explosion of anguish that was erupting all over him now._

" _I'm sorry," she suddenly felt embarrassed and attempted to reign in her emotions, though she didn't make the slightest move to let him go._

" _Child whatever has gotten into you?" He asked, his hands coming to grasp her upper arms, finally pushing her away as he always did._

" _I…I'm…,"the words didn't want to come out. And for a single second, Sofia had the ridiculous, childish notion if she didn't say it, somehow it couldn't happen._

 _When she was still silent a full minute later, Cedric felt his anxiety getting the better of him. Sofia was many things: annoyingly good, humble, sweet, affectionate, smart and witty, and almost obnoxiously optimistic. One thing she was not was prone to over dramatic displays._

" _Dear gods girl spit it out before I have a coronary!" He said, shaking her a little without really meaning to and immediately feeling remorseful for the insensitivity of it._

" _I'm to marry Prince Carl Henrik." Her voice was so soft and so little she sounded almost exactly like the lost eight year old she'd been all those years ago when he'd asked if she wanted to see his workshop for the first time._

 _He felt a long suppressed desire rise to the surface of him. It reared up so swiftly, so fiercely, mastering it left Cedric barely able to think or breath and so they simply stood there, a few steps apart, his hands clasping her arms, her looking at the ground, and him at the top of her head._

 _He'd known this day was coming for a long time._

 _Perhaps longer than even Sofia had. It was the inevitable end to a royal childhood. She may not have been born so, but Sofia_ _ **was**_ _a princess. She was the acknowledged daughter of a King. She had been groomed, educated, and prepped for a royal marriage for the last decade._

 _There was simply no world in which Rolland would have put so much effort into turning his grubby little peasant step-daughter into a dazzling young lady, without expecting a return on his investment. And the Crown Prince of Freezenburg was a handsome return by even the most exacting standards._

 _He knew Sofia was shocked, that even after all the offers of courtship, after seeing Amber given to an arranged marriage and learning Princess Vivian was coming to live with them, per Rolland's long ago agreement with her parents, she still thought her humble birth would save her from a similar fate._

 _She had thought perhaps if she continued to refuse offer after offer she might be given the right to retire into duchess-hood like her aunt and someday marry a young man of her choosing._

 _But Cedric had known for years now her dreams were just that._

 _If she'd been a different person perhaps…._

 _But she wasn't. She was Sofia. A beautiful, enchanting, enthralling, rare ray of sunlight in a dark, dark world. And everything she was made those around her want more of her. Rolland would have seen it, just as he did, from the beginning. And when at fifteen she'd flowered into an outward beauty that was a perfect reflection of her bright and dazzling inside, her fate had been sealed._

 _It broke his heart, not the least because he knew she was here desperate for a way to escape the inevitable. That she had pinned her very last hope on the idea her sorcerer, her strange, dark, magical friend could find some way, unbeknownst to anyone else, to rescue her from her fate._

 _And again the desire reared its ugly head, teeth gnashing at Cedric's insides. It was within his power to take her away where none of them would ever find her. If he did it now it would be hours before anyone even suspected anything was amiss._

 _But if he gave into the selfish desire to spare her from the realities of her world, what good would he really be doing her?_

 _She might believe she would prefer to live the humble life of a village girl over the dazzling but artificial one of a Princess. Especially if it spared her from marriage to a man she didn't love. But how long would the allure of a simple life last? Past the first hard winter? Past the first epidemic that swept like wildfire through the peasantry? Certainly it wouldn't live long in the face of the endless struggle to keep enough food in one's belly. Or the need to pick up and leave everything behind again and again when she was inevitably recognized._

 _As much as she wanted to revolt against the realization her charmed childhood was merely a smoke screen for an adulthood spent as a commodity to the crown, she would be safer, and he dare thought happier, in this life than she would in her old._

 _Once you'd had wealth and privilege it was virtually impossible to go back._

 _And so just this once he would do something honorable, something unselfish. Even if she couldn't understand or appreciate why he was doing it. Even if she would be angry at him for making a choice for her._

 _Just this once._

 _For her._

 _Sofia heard her friend make a sound under his breath, and finally looked up at him._

 _She'd hoped to find him distressed by her news. She'd hoped maybe this sudden pulling out of the rug from under their comfortable, cozy companionship might push him to make a daring choice. But instead she found him smiling widely at her, the look lighting his face in a way that was oddly beautiful on her usually grumpy and sour sorcerer._

 _If she wanted to be picky she could have pointed out his eyes remained wet even as he tried to radiate chipper cheer, but she was too beat down to call him on it._

" _Then I suppose congratulations are in order, Princess." He said brightly, dropping his hands from her arms and giving her a little bow._

 _Sofia looked at him astonished._

" _Oh don't be so gloomy, girl. This is a wonderful thing! Did you ever think, when you were sitting in your little hovel in the village, you'd be Queen of a great land someday? I know you don't like to be told what to do, but I hope you didn't let your stubbornness prevent you from thanking the King for arranging such an illustrious match!"_

 _Sofia began to shake her head, even as she continued staring at him, and Cedric felt sure if she didn't stop he would be unable to continue this loathsome farce. Putting a single finger under her chin, he closed her mouth for her._

" _I suppose all these tears, and that…_ _ **assault**_ _I was forced to endure just now are because you're fearful of leaving your home and friends for a strange new place. But honestly child, it's only Freezenburg. You've been there plenty of times and you'll get to come home as often as you like. It's not like you won't ever see any of us again!"_

" _But…."_

 _Sofia tried to break in, but Cedric ignored her, turning away from her and all but skipping over to his bookshelves, picking out one large volume after another._

" _Now, I assume you will want the world's most sensational sorcerer to perform at your wedding. And since you are the world's most sensational apprentice, and know what truly amazing feats of magic I'm capable of, I will let you pick out the spells yourself! Come."_

 _He smiled down at her now from up on his rolling ladder and Sofia felt the iron bars of her life closing in on her. He was happy for her. Excited for her illustrious future. He wasn't angry or hopeless or even the least bit upset at the thought of losing their intimate companionship…._

"What did he want?" Cedric's voice pulled them both back into the present and Sofia realized he sounded almost fearful.

She took a moment to wonder if he ever regretted encouraging her to accept her fate all those years ago. If he ever wished he had…. But she knew that was ridiculous.

"Nothing," she answered nonchalantly, brushing aside the hurt she was astonished to realize she could still feel when thinking about that long ago conversation. "I wanted something from him." She finally answered somewhat mysteriously.

Suddenly Cedric's arms were around her and she was being pulled into an all-encompassing hug.

She came eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face against his shoulder. She breathed in his familiar, comforting scent, as he pulled her closer and let his cheek rest against her hair.

All those years ago he'd been a miserable hugger, even after all the ones she'd given him as a child. But they'd been through so much since the day she came to him hoping for a way out of her betrothal, so much neither of them could ever have foreseen. It had brought them closer when she'd been convinced they would be torn apart. And over the years he'd finally relented to the soothing contentment of a good hug.

Pulling away after what, to Sofia, seemed too short a time, he gave her a genuine smile.

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you're home, and I always have time for tea with my oldest friend."

Picking the tray up, the smile still wide on his face, he led her to the small sitting room that adjoined his workshop.

Sofia took her 'usual' spot on the warn settee, a seat far better suited to the voluminous skirts of her dresses, as Cedric lit a small fire in the grate and pulled two cups down from the mantel, handing them to her so she could pour for them.

When the fire was set and the tea made, Cedric got comfortable in his overstuffed armchair and they sat opposite each other over the small table.

Sofia had the idea he was comparing her to his mental image as well, and she wondered what he thought of the differences. With the magic of corsets and stays she assumed her figure didn't look much different than it had all those years ago, though she could most certainly see the changes when she looked in the mirror at night. She wore her hair up now in elaborate styles her maid spent a great deal of time doing every morning. Her face was a little less round, and her eyes a little worldlier, but she fancied she was still young even if she was no longer immature.

"How are you holding up?" He finally asked, his tone somewhat rough.

Sofia realized they'd been silently staring at each other for a long while.

She chose to take another sip of her tea before answering, hoping to come up with a response that was honest without being too harsh.

"I'm well. Perhaps more so than everyone would like to me to be. Carl was a good Prince, a good father, and he always tried to be a good man. But you know he left much to be desired as a husband."

Cedric only nodded. He was the one person to whom she needn't to lie about her nonexistent affection for her dead spouse.

"And so what will you do now? Surely the king doesn't mean to marry you off again so soon?"

It was the question which had driven her to make an uninvited, unexpected appearance today. Sofia knew only too well a relatively young, widowed princess was as much a commodity as a young, virgin princess, though to a different market of buyers.

"I have no idea what the King wanted, but I've had his promise now, face to face." She watched Cedric raise an eyebrow and shrugged as though what she was about to say wasn't so significant. "I'm thirty-five. Even if Rolland were to betroth me tomorrow, I'd be thirty-seven before I could bare another child, and that's far too old to guarantee a living heir. No, I'm done with marriage and princes and all the rest of it.

With Princess Astrid and Princess Hildegard married off and Carl dead, king Henrik is all too happy to have me stay in Freezenburg and run his homes and lands while he rules and prepares Frederick to inherit after him. He's given me a home of my own. I have a place close to the palace, close to my child, and for the first time in my life I'm my own mistress. I'm… _free_!" The last word came bubbling up out of her and Sofia had to stifle the urge to laugh uncontrollably!

Cedric looked at her bemused, before pulling out his wand and waving it over the table. There was a bright burst of light and then a large bottle of amber colored liquid appeared along with two small glasses. Putting his wand away he took the bottle and uncorked it, pouring a good amount into both glasses and then handing one to her.

"That sounds like it deserves some celebration." He said, taking his own glass and swirling the contents.

"Drinking at four in the afternoon, how scandalous!" She said, sneering at him but good naturedly.

"As you said, you're a free woman now, you can drink at four in the afternoon if it pleases you." He responded with a sneer of his own.

Sofia bent her head to her glass briefly, taking in the aroma of the alcohol, if only to gather herself. He might be a man in his fifties now, but that look had always held a carnal power over her.

Lifting her head up again, she smiled raising her glass.

"It pleases me to share a drink with _you_ … at any hour."

He nodded at that, giving her a second wide smile in one afternoon. An occurrence she couldn't ever remember having happened before.

"Cheers," he said raising his own glass.

"Prost," she answered clinking hers to his before drinking deeply.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I have to start by saying a HUGE thank you to everyone who checked out the first chapter and most especially to those who reviewed. It meant the world to me!**

 **One little note, cause I know most people who read Cedric/Sofia fics are as diehard about this pairing as I am, this story is rated M cause there's going to be lemons. Despite the fact Sofia was married and some other stuff that will be alluded to starting at the end of this chapter, those lemons will only be between our fav duo. I don't overly enjoy writing lemons (though I love, love, love reading them) and so I have to really want to see the people I'm writing about get busy to make them happen! But I'm trying to write a more realistic, hopefully more worldly, Sofia. So she's going to do some worldlier things.**

2.

"Will you take a walk with me tomorrow?" She asked at his door, not sure if she was feeling empowered by her newly won freedom or by the copious amounts of alcohol running through her system.

"You know how I despise exercise Sofia." He reminded her crankily instead of answering.

Still, she was heartened to hear her name from his lips instead of her title. She knew Cedric used it like a shield sometimes, though she'd never been sure what exactly he was defending against. They should have been past such evasions long ago.

"I do, but you still need it. What if we go herb picking while we're out?" She offered.

One of his eyebrows went up and the side of his mouth quirked in mock villainy. "Will you pick the thorny blackberry?"

She snorted.

"And here I thought to offer the pleasure of my company when really you're just interested in sparing your delicate fingers a scratching." Sofia crossed her arms and pouted in a way she well knew was beguiling, boarding on flirtatious. And as she did, it became obvious to her this courage was all what he'd poured in her glass.

"Nonsense, you know I love your company _and_ your tiny hands, what with their ability to grasp in between the prickers. I'm merely trying to combine my loves that's all."

"You do know how to pluck the strings of my vanity. Very well, if you'll come for a walk with me, I'll pick the thorny blackberry."

"Excellent, let's say…before tea tomorrow? Then you can have the honor of hauling my old, exhausted bones back up here, tucking me in my chair, and making me a nice warm cup to revive my spirits."

"You make it sound as though I should skip the gardens and just walk you straight to the undertaker instead?" She chuckled before sobering slightly in the face of a memory which still haunted her nightmares. "You know by now I won't let you shrug off this mortal coil so easily."

Cedric grumbled something under his breath, but then took her hand quite unexpectedly. He squeezed it between both his own for a moment, before dropping it just as suddenly and stepping back over the threshold of his workshop.

"Before tea tomorrow." He repeated.

"Before tea," she confirmed, not waiting for him to close the door on her before turning to descend the tower steps.

.o~O*O~o.

Sofia had barely enough time to return to her room and change out of her travel gown before Baileywick was knocking on her door.

"Good evening Princess, I've come to escort you to dinner." There was only a small reserved smile on the steward's face, but Sofia knew him well enough to know he wouldn't have come unless he was really and truly delighted to see her.

"That's so kind of you Baileywick. I think I'm all ready?" She said, turning a small circle so he could inspect her dinner gown.

He gave a small tsk in response and walked behind her, pulling a miniscule piece of lint from her black satin gown.

"Now you're ready," He stated matter-of-factly, giving her a nod of approval before offering his arm.

Sofia noticed he was walking a great deal more stiffly than he had been earlier in the day, but wondered if there was any appropriate way to bring it up with him. Baileywick was gentle, kind, and caring but he was also persnickety when it came to the proper way of things. Now she was a grown woman, she very much doubted he would be comfortable allowing her to fuss after him or help him with his duties.

It struck her, not for the first time, how much they'd all indulged her as a child. How there seemed to be some unspoken agreement among the adults in her life to allow her to get away with things no one else would have been permitted to even entertain the notion of.

She'd been Baileywick's assistant for a day, Cedric's apprentice in a loose sense for many years. She'd been the first princess to race in the flying derby, or be a buttercup. She'd been a founding member of the Princess Adventure Club, and been given an almost unimaginable amount of free time, which she'd used to have untold adventures all on her own.

Perhaps that was why the sudden tightening of her lead had felt so severe, so much like the end of the world all those years ago. Because she honestly couldn't say her life had been horrible. Far from it. She'd been through her fair share of difficulties and sorrows, but her life was still charmed by anyone's standards. Perhaps it was simply that her childhood had led her to believe her future was boundless in a way which was utterly impractical in the adult world of duty and responsibility.

Turning to her friend she wished she could tell him she was grateful for all he'd given her in the years she'd spent here. She would never change those days, even if she'd known then how different the ones to come after would be.

Instead she gave him another warm smile and determined to ask Cedric for some sort of potion or tonic that might help ease Baileywick's aches and pains. She would probably get a sour expression and a lecture on all the ways in which the steward was 'literally' the most irksome, unpleasant person on earth, but even though he would hem and haw, she knew in the end Cedric would do it…for her.

"If you need anything…." Baileywick began only to have Sofia wave him off.

"I know what to do. You get your own supper and a little rest now." She added the last softly and was relieved to see him smile indulgently at her forwardness.

Stepping through the double doors she found dinner to be a far more crowded and much happier experience. James and Vivian were back form the circus and the children were recounting, in painstaking detail, everything they'd loved about the performance.

When she entered everyone stopped and stared at her in surprise. Apparently Rolland hadn't felt like telling them she was here.

"Sof!" James was up out of his chair and bounding up to grab her in a bear hug that lifted her feet from the floor, swinging her around several times.

"Hey big brother!" She laughed, hugging him back tightly.

Once she was back on the ground Vivian and the girls surrounded her and there was more embracing.

"Sofia what are you doing here?" Vivian asked as Sofia kneeled down to the girls' height.

"Oh I just thought I'd drop by and spend some time with my favorite brother, sister-in-law, and nieces." She lied before taking Princess Rosamund's shoulders in her hands and holding her eldest niece out for inspection. "My how you girls have grown!" She exclaimed.

"I'm four and half feet tall now!" the eight year old declared proudly.

"Is that so? You're going to be as statuesque as your Aunt Amber, I can tell." Sofia replied. Her niece preened under the praise as Sofia had intended. Amber was Rosamund's idol. The personification of all things princessly, beautiful, and fashionable which the little girl adored.

"Do you really think so?" She asked, excited. The eldest princess turned a circle so Sofia could examine her pretty green velvet dress and long blond hair, curled into perfect ringlets.

"I do!" Sofia assured before turning to her younger sister. "And let me see you Princess Lynnette."

The five year old, who had been patiently waiting for her Aunt's attention, now threw herself at Sofia for one more hug.

"Ohh, I've missed you too lovely!" Sofia said, squeezing the little one tight.

Sofia would never admit to it, but Lynnette was her favorite niece. The little girl was bright, energetic, and unfailingly optimistic from the ends of her silky black hair to the tips of her still chubby, baby-esque toes. She reminded Sofia of everything that was good in the world, everything that could still be bright and hopeful and sweet.

"Daddy said I can have a pony for Wasallia this year," the little girl told her excitedly, "when she comes will you teach me how to ride?"

Sofia looked at James and Vivian silently asking if it would be alright, not just for her to teach Lynnette, but to come for Wasallia.

"Of course she can!" James chimed in, "and if you bring Frederick with you, we'll have someone to keep Rosie occupied too!"

Sofia turned in time to see her eldest niece blush a bright, humiliated, shade of scarlet. It was no secret to anyone the crown Princess of Enchancia had an enormous crush on the Crown Prince of Freezenburg, though she would have rather died than declare it. And as yet, neither she or James had the heart to explain to her that two first heirs couldn't marry because it would mean combining their kingdoms.

Sofia felt herself stiffen, and shot James a dirty look. It soured her mood to realize Rosamund wasn't even ten and her first dream was already about to be crushed. All she could hope was, being eight, and so much more like Amber than herself, her niece would grow out of her crush long before it became an issue to be worried over.

Standing with each girls' hand in one of her own, she tried to do mitigate Rosamund's embarrassment and her expectations as she led them back to the table.

"We'll see if Frederick can come or not. His grandpapa, King Henrik, might want him to stay in Freezenburg for the holiday.

This seemed to end the matter and they all sat down and listened as the girls began to recount their afternoon at the circus, from the beginning, for Sofia's benefit.

As they talked Sofia took in the warmth of the room, the coziness of a quiet family dinner, and was almost startled by the intimacy of it all.

Sofia never realized, when she was little, having a meal privately with her family was a privilege to be cherished. It was simply the way King Rolland did things and because her disillusionment had come painfully late, she'd always assumed every place was like Enchancia.

Which had left her astonished when she arrived in Freezenburg to find the palace was home not only to the royal family but a full court the King kept about him at all times. Lords, Earls, Marquises, and Dukes were on hand at any time of day or night to wait on him or simply chum about with, along with their families, servants, and hangers on. Instead of a single grand table filled with family, the banquet hall of the Icicle palace was overflowing with long trestle tables bursting with people, all who came to watch the royal family as much as they hoped to be seen by them….

" _Your normal place will be here, Princess." Sofia turned, startled by the sound of the Duchess's voice despite the fact she'd known the woman was right beside her the whole time._

 _Nerves were making her jittery in the most embarrassing of ways and the talent she usually had for fitting in anywhere with anyone felt as though it had inexplicably deserted her in her hour of greatest need._

" _Thank you Your Grace." Sofia replied distractedly as she sat to the left of King Henrik at the high table._

 _Her husband Prince Carl Henrik was sitting at his father's right hand and though Sofia was sure she shouldn't admit it, she was glad for the buffer that was the King's person. After pursuing her with such single-minded determination the prince seemed to barely acknowledge her existence now he'd brought her home. Begrudgingly she admitted to being not just confused, but hurt by his sudden indifference._

 _With her family finally returned to Enchancia just that morning Sofia had never felt more alone or more vulnerable. Until now the most trying days of her life had been the first weeks after she'd moved from Dunwitty to her father's castle. But even then she'd had her mother with her, she'd been able to see Ruby and Jade, and she'd made friends with Clover, Mia, and Robin thanks to King Rolland's generous gift of the amulet of Avalor._

 _The amulet was back in Enchancia with her family. Clover, Mia, and Robin had left this life a long time ago, and so far she hadn't found anyone who wanted to know her in any meaningful way like Cedric, Baileywick, and James had when she was little. With even her own husband ignoring her, she'd begun to feel as though she were drowning._

 _Never more so than now when she faced the crowded room so the nobles below the high table, squished shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee, trying not to knock elbows as they supped, could watch her like a zoo animal as she ate. It made her terrified to do even a single human thing, like fumble one of her utensils, or take a bite bigger than a nibble, lest it cause sauce to spill on her dress._

" _You should have some of your soup, princess. If you don't you'll be thought to be snubbing the chef." Sofia turned to see one of her ladies sitting next to her._

 _This was another thing she hadn't been prepared for. With Hildegard and her older sister Astrid already married and gone, all the wives and daughters of the court spent their days in her rooms. Ostensibly they were there as her servants, attending her and keeping her company, but she'd been informed it was also one of her duties as crown princess to guide their behavior, find the unmarried ones good matches, and in practicality she was also responsible for entertaining them and keeping them out of trouble._

 _Sofia had always thought of herself as a people person but there was something excruciatingly exhausting about constantly having fifty people at your elbow, all expecting you to be the perfect model of princess-hood and by extension womanhood._

 _Her principle lady in waiting, Anna-Grete Von Strassenburg, the Duchess of Dusselstein, was in charge of her and all the women who filled her rooms. She was at least two decades older than Sofia and had been a close friend of the late Queen. King Henrik had asked the formidably elegant woman to take the new Crown Princess under her wing and teach her how to fit in at court. And though Sofia wouldn't call her a friend, as yet, she was already becoming dependent on the refined and respected woman._

 _At the moment she was sitting just to the right of this younger lady and gave Sofia a subtle nod, letting her know the other woman's words were correct._

 _Picking up her soup spoon, happy at least she'd been prepared to know which one was which by her life in Enchancia, she struggled to remember this girl's name._

" _You're…," Sofia felt herself begin to panic. She knew her name, she did, she'd never been bad at remembering names before!_

" _Elena Volenski, Your Highness, I'm the Countess of Ormandy." Rather than be offended, as Freezenburgers seemed wont to do at even the slightest provocation, the Countess, who couldn't have been much older than Sofia, gave her a mischievous smile. "Don't worry, between the old bat and me, we'll get you settled in in no time!"_

 _Sofia almost snorted her soup, not the least because the bug eyed look of anger that broke out on the Duchess's face was a thing of true brilliance, as James would say._

" _You will watch your tongue, madam!" The Duchess spat just under her breath._

 _Far from being cowed, the young woman waved her soup spoon in front of the older's face._

" _Don't get high and mighty with me Your Grace. You know this is too big a job for one person. Even one of your…sizable talent." Elena laughed, another wicked little sound, and Sofia found herself, if not liking the girl, at least relaxing in her brash company. Despite the fact she was sure the countess had just insulted them both in one fell swoop._

" _Oh hush you little harpy," the Duchess commanded. "If you want to be of help start pointing out the important nobles to her Highness!"_

 _Dinner passed on like that, with Elena pointing people out less than subtly, making the most salacious comments about each one, and Sofia and the Duchess listening on in shocked silence, unsure whether they should be amused or scandalized._

 _Hours later, when the meal was finally over, Sofia found herself feeling more confident of coping in her new life than she had in the entire two weeks she'd been in Freezenburg. Elena was sarcastic and ridiculously blunt, but nothing she said about anyone, except perhaps the Duchess, was actually mean spirited. And even there the two women seemed to have some understanding that never let their barbs cross over into actual cuts._

 _After taking leave of the King, Sofia and her ladies repaired to her chambers and sat before the fire listening to Elena play some of Freezenburg's traditional folk ballads, until a messenger appeared at the door._

 _The Prince would be visiting her chamber within the hour._

 _Suddenly there was ordered chaos. Ladies began to tidy the room, others went through to her bedroom and began turning down sheets, stoking the fireplaces, preparing warming pans, and laying out her night clothes. Still others, Elena and Anna-Grete among them, pushed her through to her little dressing room and began the arduous process of removing her attire._

 _Forty-five minutes later there was a knock at the door and the Prince was ushered in wearing only his shirt, dinner pants, and knee boots._

 _The ladies all made exclamations over his handsomeness and his lack of clothing and then bowed their way out tittering and whispering to each other behind fans and fluttered hands._

 _For the first time since her wedding two weeks ago, Sofia found herself utterly alone save for this man who was now her husband._

 _Looking him over Sofia couldn't deny he was handsome. With his wavy, luxuriant black hair, piercing gray eyes, chiseled jawline, and even more chiseled physique he was the physical epitome of the perfect Prince Charming._

 _He was five years older than Hildegard but despite this they seemed to be ridiculously close. Two arrogant, overbearing peas in a pod. And though Sofia had counted his sister one of her friends at school, she'd never imagined she'd have to endure being married to her male counterpart._

 _Not that she'd spent much time feeling married to him in the last two weeks. Other than their wedding night, when he'd been so drunk he'd passed out while pawing at her breasts, she hadn't seen him more than twice. And even then they hadn't been alone._

 _He walked up to her now, without saying a word and pulled her against him roughly, bending low to bury his face in her hair._

 _Sofia heard his intake of breath, felt the shudder that immediately followed, and felt herself growing hot…with anger. Was this it? He wasn't even going to talk to her? With strength from she hardly knew where, she pushed him away._

 _His only response was to gape at her dumbfounded._

" _Aren't you going to say something to me? Ask me how I am. How I've been getting along. Maybe tell me why you haven't bothered to spend any time with me in the last two weeks?"_

 _It wasn't like her to start an argument._

 _Sofia had always tried her hardest to make a friend out of everyone around her. Knowing she was being purposefully antagonistic left her feeling rueful before she was even done speaking. But for some reason she_ _ **wanted**_ _to feel angry right now. She didn't examine this desire to closely, worried she might find she preferred appearing hostile to showing fear._

 _And she was afraid. Just underneath her anger she was quaking at the thought of what he'd come for and how he'd take it._

 _For his part, Carl looked truly puzzled. Despite this, his anger seemed more than willing to match her own even with only a moment's notice._

" _Why on earth would I have come and asked you how you're doing? I'm your husband not your best girlfriend. I've made sure you're surrounded with plenty of companions to look after your every need and ask after your every stray thought. If you aren't how you want to be than take it up with them."_

 _Sofia was so shocked she barely realized she'd begun to retreat from him till she was on the other side of the bed. The idea he could be so careless of her was like a shock of cold water in her face. It went against everything she understood, not just about his supposed feelings for her, but about life and relationships and marriage too._

 _King Rolland had married her mother for love. They were each other's favorite companions, each other's partners not just in life but in ruling Enchancia. They tried to spend some part of every day together and they slept side by side every night, not even bothering with the pretense of separate bedrooms._

 _When he'd gone to Rolland, Carl had professed to be desperate to make her his wife. It was part, if only a small part, of what had made Rolland accept him. It had seemed a neatly tied up package. A closer tie to Freezenburg, riches and wealth exchanged between them, and on top of it all a husband who would care for her._

 _Rolland had assured her this was all that was truly necessary. If Carl cared her, in time she'd come to reciprocate. That was how things worked, he'd told her, even as she'd cried and begged him to respect the fact she didn't want to marry him, couldn't envision spending the rest of her life with him._

" _I don't understand, all those things you said to my father. How you couldn't imagine having any other Queen. If you feel that way, why wouldn't you want to spend time with me?"_

 _He broke into a smile at her confusion, but Sofia quickly realized his expression wasn't meant to calm her in any way. In fact, his smile was actually contemptuous and that contempt was aimed straight at her._

" _Of course I couldn't imagine having any other Queen. You're the best." He said as if that was some sort of explanation._

" _The best?" She echoed only more confused._

" _Yes, you're the best. You're the most beautiful girl at Royal Prep, besides my sister, and you come from the richest kingdom, beside Freezenburg. That makes you the best, and I don't settle for anything less."_

 _Sofia stared at him horrified._

" _You married me because I'm pretty?" The words stuck on her tongue like sand paper, coming out rather more croaked than spoken. "You went behind my back to my father after I'd already turned you down and convinced him to let you take me away from everything I've ever known, my family, my friends, the person I cared for most in the world, because I was pretty?"_

 _Her husband crossed his arms over his chest, looking well and truly exasperated now._

" _I suppose you're taking about that old Sorcerer of your father's," he huffed. "Hildegard warned me about your attachment to him, but I didn't see much to worry about while he was here. He seemed more like a shadow than a person anyway._

 _As to the rest of it, you had to marry someone at some point and it wasn't going to be him. You should be glad someone from such a noble, illustrious family wanted you. Freezenburg might have a great deal of snow, but we're also incredibly wealthy and respected. You'll be a Queen, your son will be a King, and you won't ever want for anything. What more could you possibly ask for?"_

" _I never had any notion of marrying Mr. Cedric," she blurted out, for what reason she wasn't sure. Maybe it was just the easiest of the mountain of unpleasant truths he'd dumped on her head._

 _They stared each other down from across the vast expanse of the mattress for she didn't know how long. Him angry and her trying to piece back together what was left of the dreams she had for her future._

 _Finally, the breath she'd been holding let out and her shoulders slumped. No matter how hurt and disappointed she was, the rational side of her knew she couldn't stay angry at him for the rest of their lives._

 _He seemed utterly uninterested in being close to her, or having anything to do with her really, so she knew she would have all the time in the world to work through the bitterness that was suddenly hardening inside her._

 _Right now what she needed, what he might actually be willing to give her, was an idea of what she should expect from this marriage._

" _Perhaps we should have a conversation now it would have been better to have had before we said I do." She started._

 _He shrugged at her as though he had long ago become bored with anything she might want to say, and threw himself on the bed, boots and all._

 _Sighing she attempted to keep her temper from boiling over again._

" _Exactly what is it you expect of me as your wife?" The words were nearly growled, but they came out clearly, so she couldn't understand why he turned to her as though she were an idiot._

 _Rolling his eyes he began ticking off his meager requirements on large, perfectly manicured fingers._

" _I expect you to be by my side, smiling and gracious, at all public events. I expect you to make yourself available for any personal engagements I might need you to attend. I expect you to give Freezenburg heirs, and I expect you to take your emotional outbursts elsewhere. When we're together I want to enjoy myself, not listen to a litany of nagging complaints."_

 _Sofia nodded her head, pushing her anger so far down she was fairly certain she'd succeeded in turning off her emotions all together._

" _Good, now come here so we can start working on the heir part." ….._

Shaking off bad memories, Sofia stood up from the dinner table and bid good night to the King. Giving James, Vivian, and the girls one more hug she left the hall to return to her room.

"Princess Sofia! Are you retiring already?" Violet's kind voice questioned from her closet as she swept back the pocket doors.

"I think so. I'm tired from traveling. I think I'll change out of this monstrosity and then just write a quick letter to my son before bed."

Sofia enjoyed the feeling of only a single person pulling and pushing at her rather than a whole sea of women, trying to move her in every direction at once.

It took a little longer than in Freezenburg, but eventually the corset and petticoats came off, her hair was brought down, and Sofia was left in just her shift and a fine loose dressing gown.

Taking the first real breath of the day, she gave Violet a small hug and turned to pull out a quill and paper from her tiny desk.

Her words flowed freely onto the page, outpourings of the motherly love she wished she could give her son in person. When she finished she let the letter dry on her desk and made her way to the vast emptiness of her old bed. Getting between the fine, soft sheets Sofia turned to look out her window.

The night was clear, the moon illuminating the world outside with a soft glow. Taking it in Sofia felt the relief she'd felt every night for the last six months knowing she need never dread her husband coming to her room again. And yet…it had been so long since anyone had held her at night. Never Carl of course, but there had been others: a knight, a few noblemen, once a visiting dignitary. They'd graced her bed for a time and taught her what it meant to actually derive pleasure from the act Carl seemed to think was solely for his own satisfaction.

But it had been years since she'd had such a tryst. They'd ceased to hold any appeal to her after she'd nearly lost….

Balling the sheets in her fist, Sofia squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the view from her window and feeling the old frustration and hopelessness rolling over. She _knew_ it was hopeless. She had for fifteen years now. It was just being home, she told herself. It always made her feel like a little girl, convincing her anything was possible, only to end up slapped in the face by reality when she left. Still, she was free now, something she'd also believed impossible not that long ago.

Was it so wrong to hope?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So here's the last chapter I've written so far. I'm sure you guys have noticed I'm holding some things close to the vest right now, but anything I've alluded to but haven't explained will be cleared up in later chapters. I'm trying to be more subtle, cause usually (as you know) I'm a total sledgehammer. I can never let anything simmer for a while!**

 **Thank you again to everyone who took the time to review. I wish I could give you all huge hugs!**

3.

 _Sofia ran through the halls only half sure she was heading in the right direction. Wholly sure if she got lost, or ran into a guard, or one of Carl's friends, or her ladies, she'd end up marched back to her rooms to face Duchess Dusselstein's disapproval. For some reason that thought caused her more anxiousness than if she were face to face with a feral wooly wombeast._

 _She'd been alone in Freezenburg for almost three weeks now and she was quickly burning through the very last of her reserve of quiet perseverance, unfailing kindness, and boundless optimism._

 _She didn't feel like she could take another moment of inane chatter from her ladies about the latest fashions, the most eligible bachelors at court, or the upcoming winter flower festival. Nor could she take a single minute more of the passive aggressive planning sessions for the festival which, she'd been informed only days ago, she was entirely responsible for. Sessions during which Duchess Dusselstein assured her she should do everything to her own liking only to have her cluck and tsk until Sofia gave in and allowed her to choose more 'traditional' options._

 _And she was absolutely sure she could not stand one more awkward, awful public encounter with her husband._

 _He had taken to visiting her chamber almost every night, at least when he wasn't lured out to whatever unsavory carousing his obnoxious friends would dream up to amuse him. And except for the first time he hadn't hurt her. Thus far he hadn't forced her either, but he'd made it clear refusing him wasn't an option. Sofia found herself so dreading his visits that some evenings she had a hard time getting through dinner knowing what was to come._

 _Given his complete disdain for her she hadn't made any effort to hide her distaste for him or his attentions. Yet on the few occasions they had, unfortunately, crossed ways during the day he acted as though she was purposefully putting herself in his path. That she was a silly young wife so besotted with her new husband, and all the carnal pleasures he'd introduced her to, she couldn't help but seek him out to have just a few more minutes in his company._

 _She tried to act aloof during these uncomfortable, and frankly humiliating meetings, without letting herself descend into outright rudeness. But inside her anger was boiling over. She knew his friends were laughing at her, and could only imagine the self-aggrandizing lies he was spreading about their private interactions. Yet she knew she couldn't do anything about it publically or otherwise._

 _Perhaps sensing Sofia had it in her to want to see her odious husband brought down a peg, Duchess Dusselstein had felt it her duty to pull the young princess aside. She reminded Sofia, in the most condescending manner, of the duties of a royal wife. None of which included loving or liking one's husband, but did include patient, demure toleration of him at all times. To do anything else, the older woman lectured her, would risk not just the prince's anger, which Sofia was fairly certain she could handle, but the King's as well._

 _Sofia didn't need to have it explained to her that though he was a kindly old man, King Henrik had the same hands off approach to his children that his son was now using with her. Everyone was expected to put a smile on their face and act happy whether they were or not. Letting one's personal feelings break the façade of royal perfection was considered an egregious lapse of protocol._

 _And so at every turn Sofia was denied the right to be herself, to stand up for herself, or even assert the authority to pick party streamers on her own. The drowning feeling Sofia had been living with the past weeks was quickly reaching a critical point. She felt herself slipping away under the strangulating atmosphere of her new home, and in a moment of desperation had turned to an unexpected source for help._

 _Sofia made one more left turn and finally found herself outside the castle, in a deserted little courtyard that looked as though it hadn't seen anyone's attention in decades. Standing in the middle of it, holding the reigns of two spirited flying horses, and wearing a riding cloak pulled tight over her glossy blond curls was Countess Ormandy._

 _The countess smiled at her with that same glint of mischief she'd seen the first night at dinner and handed Sofia the reigns of the white horse. The two women silently swung up into their saddles and then they were off, soaring through the frigid skies, leaving the palace behind them._

" _Where would you like to go, your highness?" Elena asked, her voice straining to be heard._

 _Sofia didn't look over at her as they flew. Instead she closed her eyes to enjoy the wild feel of the wind in her face and the illusion of utter freedom it brought. But she did consider the countess's question as well as another matter that had been nipping at her the last week._

 _When she lived in Enchancia she would always escape to Dunwitty for a break from royal life, taking off on Minimus, or walking with Clover, or in later years, transporting herself by magic._

 _Tamping down on the bitter little voice that told her she'd been a fool to ever consider castle life in Enchancia overwhelming, she decided it was time to see the country she would one day be Queen of._

" _Why don't we go to one of the nearby villages." She offered._

 _Sofia could practically here the wrinkle nosed, crooked mouth expression the countess was making in the distasteful sigh she let out._

" _You're joking right?"_

 _Sofia did turn now, and for the first time since she'd been informed she was being married off and shipped to Freezenburg, she didn't let someone else's displeasure stop her from doing something she wanted._

" _No." Her tone made it clear she wasn't open to entertaining any alternatives._

" _As your Highness wishes." The countess sighed again pulling her reigns hard to the left, leaving Sofia to follow._

 _When Sofia had steadied her mount alongside the other woman's once more she turned and looked at her directly._

" _Thank you," she said, more gently. "And call me Sofia. If you took the risk of breaking me out of jail we should at least be on a first name basis."_

 _The other woman smiled at her, and this time there was no hint of mischief in the expression._

" _It's my pleasure, Sofia."_

 _They road on in silence for a little longer, the whipping wind making any real conversation impossible, and then Elena began to bring her horse down over a quaint little village about ten miles from the palace._

 _From the air the little town had looked as adorable and inviting as Dunwitty, though covered with a great deal more snow. From the ground it was a different thing altogether._

 _Sofia looked around and her face fell._

 _Seeing her reaction, Elena gave her a cocked eyebrow and a knowing smirk, misinterpreting Sofia's shock for distaste._

" _We should go to Freezenburg city, there's lots of fun to be had there. But this is just a little village, there's nothing here but snow and peasants."_

 _Sofia turned to glare at the other woman._

" _I'm not interested in fun. I want to know about my people." She said, beginning to walk through the muddy, brown colored slush that seemed to pass for a street, leading her horse behind her._

 _There weren't many people out of doors, but the ones who were gapped at her openly._

 _Sofia hadn't thought her outfit ostentatious. Underneath her cloak she wore a simple purple riding habit, one with a skirt instead of the pants she'd favored as a child, but even so there were no jewels, no embroidering, and no fancy accents like fur or brocade._

 _Still, her simplest riding outfit stood out like a swollen, sore thumb when compared to the matted furs, patchwork wools, and careworn boots of the humble people around her._

" _Is this what all villages in Freezenburg are like?" She asked Elena, able to see even with all their many layers that the people in front of her were ill fed, unhealthy, and frankly miserable._

" _If you hadn't noticed it snows here twelve months out of the year. It's hard to make anything grow in soil that's eternally frozen solid. We have some pine trees, Nettle blossoms, and a few tough animals the peasants breed, but even then we have to import the grain to feed the animals. One epidemic of pig flu, or oxen pox and an entire village will starve."_

 _Sofia looked at her with wide, disbelieving eyes._

" _But there's so much food at the castle…." She offered rather stupidly._

 _Elena raised an eyebrow till it disappeared behind her fashionably curled bangs._

" _We import that food." The countess said, her voice somewhat astonished, though Sofia wasn't sure whether it was because she didn't understand such things, or that she was disturbed by them._

" _With all the riches Freezenburg has." She mumbled, more to herself than to her companion._

" _The pretty gowns certainly aren't the only reason every little girl dreams of being a princess." Elena offered._

" _Do King Henrik and Prince Carl know the state their people live in?" She asked, feeling anger start to bubble over in her._

" _Do your Enchancian peasants live any better?" Elena laughed a little, no longer trying to hide her amusement at Sofia's naïveté._

 _Just as the countess said it, they turned a corner and Sofia saw a few little children, thin as rails and not even properly dressed against the freezing wind, huddled together, playing with scrap fabric dolls. Rounding on the other woman Sofia pinned her with enraged eyes._

" _I used to be a peasant," the crown princess spat, "and I was never hungry or cold. We had enough money to put a roof over our head, food in our stomachs, and buy descent shoes and fabric for clothes. This is disgraceful! Surely there's something that can be done. Sorcery," Sofia volunteered when the countess just shrunk from her anger, "why can't the royal sorcerer use magic to make some of the land arable? Why can't food be conjured?"_

" _Freezenburg doesn't have a royal sorcerer at the moment." The countess squeaked._

" _Someone has to do something!" Sofia all but screamed, garnering the attention of the inhabitants of the nearby houses. When one particularly brave man stuck his head out of a door Sofia turned to him._

" _Do you know who I am?" She asked, her voice ringing commandingly, in tones she'd never used before, but had learned from her father._

 _The man just nodded his head and doffed his cap, making a small bow._

" _Do you have a town hall in this village?" She asked._

" _We...we do your highness." The man's tone was awed, but Sofia had the niggling feeling it was actually fear and not any sort of admiration that made him seem so struck._

" _Where?"_

 _The man lifted a trembling finger and pointed to the large, rather shabby looking building at the end of the street._

" _Tell everyone that the Princess is here and she wishes them to present themselves in the hall in half an hour."_

 _The man blanched now, but bowed to her and mumbled something that sounded like 'yes highness'._

" _What are you doing?" Elena asked slightly breathless as she jogged to catch up to Sofia's now determined gait._

" _Someone has to do something."_

 _When they reached the meeting hall, Sofia tied her horse to the little post outside and stormed through the door._

 _The hall was empty, a few trestle tables and benches folded up against the far wall, the chandelier and wall sconces bare of candles, the fireplaces empty and long unused. Taking out her wand, a gift from Cedric she always carried with her, she began transforming the room._

 _Candles were conjured, benches and tables floated into their proper places and were magically wiped clean of dirt and dust. Wood appeared in the large grates and began to crackle giving the room a rosy glow and bringing the temperature in the room to a more bearable level._

 _When everything was as nice as it could be, Sofia pointed her wand at the tables. The next spell made her heart clench. She didn't eat meat any longer, but the smell that filled the room made her yearn in a way that had nothing to do with hunger. Nostalgia, homesickness, and a longing more deeply private rose up like waves, trying to beat her down._

 _She squelched the feelings as best she could, clutching the beautiful wand she counted as her most prize possession, and knowing there would be time a plenty when they returned to the castle to indulge the sudden intense need to grieve that had overtaken her._

" _Doppler Duplicato!" She said, again, and again, and again, till every table was filled to overflowing with perfect replicas of the enchanted feast._

 _She had just finished when the townspeople began pouring in, initially timid, and obviously frightened._

" _Please come in!" Sofia called, beckoning them in with an urgent wave of her hands._

" _Princess…what…?" An older man seemed to push through to the front, walking ahead of the others as they stared, looking hungrily at the food yet seeming to fearful to touch it._

" _Are you the town elder?" She asked._

" _I am." The man's voice trembled._

" _I'm Sofia." She replied holding out her hand._

 _He looked down at her gesture of friendship as though it was a poisonous snake and finally Sofia dropped her hand, knowing insisting would just make them all more afraid of her._

" _I'd like very much for you and your people to sit and eat, and tell me about your lives here in…?" She realized she had no idea where exactly they were._

" _Helgaburg, your Highness." The man replied, his voice a little stronger this time._

" _Life here in Helgaburg."_

 _Hours later Sofia and Elena were saying their goodbyes to the villagers when a wave of exhaustion and dizziness washed over her with such force the world went black…._

A hand reached out and grasped her wrist, causing Sofia to jump slightly.

"I called your name but you seemed lost in your thoughts."

Turning slightly, her wrist still caught by long, gloved fingers, Sofia found herself staring up into warm brown eyes that were crinkled slightly in embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sofia could feel the blush heating her cheeks, even as she was desperate to hide the effect his unexpected touch had on her. "I was just visiting the village and I guess I got caught up thinking about the…comparisons."

Cedric nodded sagely as he released her, either not noticing her reaction to him or being uncharacteristically gentlemanly and choosing to ignore it. Instead he held out his arm for her to take and they began walking again together.

"There's a lot less to find unfavorable in the comparison these days I think," he began after a few moments. "You've done some wonderful things, Sofia."

The blush was back in her cheeks at his praise and she found herself turning her head away, pretending to study the flowers on the path, so he wouldn't see.

"We both have," she finally replied. "You're something of a hero in Freezenburg you know?"

Cedric snorted, the sound brimming over with sarcasm.

"Hmm, who knew all I had to do to finally get the acclaim I was always so desperate for was move some dirt around a frozen hellhole."

Sofia couldn't help but laugh. She knew exactly what he thought about her adopted land having heard it all before.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better I always knew you were sensational, even before the dirt." She waited a beat, turning back to see him smiling with uncharacteristic pride before continuing. "Which is why I need to ask a favor of you."

Her words were greeted with another caustic chortle, and a shake of his head.

"I knew it was coming." He said, something that sounded a bit… bitter in his voice.

"Are you implying I only asked you for a walk today to get something from you?" She countered, feeling an old bitterness of her own.

They had been friends now for over twenty-five years, but that didn't mean their relationship had always been sunshine and roses. Sofia had come to a sort of calm acceptance of what they were to each other in the past several years but it was obvious the old hurts were still there, laying just under the surface for both of them.

"If you were to look back over the years could you say the times you've come to me in hopes of nothing more than my companionship outnumber the times you've come needing something?" His words were measured and precise as though he were exercising a great deal of self-control.

"I was under the impression that, for quite a while in the beginning, you weren't open to my simply seeking out your companionship." She answered back, her words matching his for measure and precision.

"I can't deny that," he conceded with a heavy sigh. "But as I told you yesterday, as I hope you've known for some time, I value your company above any other."

It was Sofia's turn to snort, and she knew he was slightly shocked to hear such an unladylike sound from her.

"Actually what you said was that you _love_ my company." She took a deep breath, screwing up her courage, because even the tiniest of confessions was hard for her now, even with him. "And I love yours. But there's no one else I can ask, no one I could possible trust the way I trust you."

He turned to her for the first time since they'd started walking, wearing a look that sat somewhere between shocked and genuinely pleased.

"Come back to Freezenburg with me?"

The look changed to just shock.

"It's Frederick," she hurried to explain. "Henrik took him out of Royal Prep after Carl died. A move which I initially agreed with. Everything happened so suddenly, it was such a shock, he needed time to grieve and come to terms with the fact his father was gone. But it's been six months and as far as I can tell the King has no intention of letting Freddie return to his normal life. He's hired tutors to take over his studies, and he's even started giving Freddie some of Carl's old responsibilities.

He's only fourteen. He's lost his father, now his grandfather wants to keep him away from all of his friends and pile him with the duties of an adult. It's too much for him." She said, her voice becoming shaky as she talked about her beloved child and all the weights being heaped on his thin shoulders.

Cedric's arm twisted underneath hers and instead of laying as a rest for her own she found their hands clasped together, his gloved fingers squeezing hers in a way that spoke of his sympathy.

"I agree with you. It sounds as if he's pushing the boy too much, but I'm not sure what it is you think I can do."

"He's been having accidents." She said by way of answer.

"Accidents?"

"It was just little things at first, something would fly off a shelf and break, or a mirror or window might shatter. But it's been getting worse and worse. Last week he set a room of the palace on fire."

Cedric stopped them now, turning to look at her full on.

"Are you sure?" He asked, searching her face to see if she was completely certain of what she said.

"I am, I'm positive."

He raised their joined hands now, studying her fingers intertwined with his.

"Sofia, you're a gifted sorceress. Couldn't you...?"

She only shook her head in angry frustration and ripped her hand out of his.

"You know how hard things are between him and me!" Fury poured out of her suddenly, though none of it was really aimed at him. "Carl always had all the power and he used it to keep Freddie and I apart as much as possible, to poison him against me at every turn. It's almost like he knew he'd die first and this was his way of making sure I'd always feel his boot on my neck choking the joy out of my life." She looked up at him now with angry tears shimmering in the corners of her eyes. "Why did he hate me so much?"

Cedric's hands came down gripping her shoulders firmly as though he were trying to physically ground her mind here in the present with him. When it seemed likely she wouldn't fall apart a sad smile lit his features.

"Because you wouldn't love him. And because he was a spoiled prick who couldn't stand the thought of anyone seeing him for what he truly was."

Sofia nodded feeling as defeated now as she had all those years ago when it dawned on her there was no way to escape marrying a man she already despised.

"I've been trying so hard these past few years, since Freddie got older and Carl had less influence on him, to make up for the past, but he won't listen to me. I'm still the mother he resents. But he might listen to you, he's always been in awe of you."

Sofia looked up to see the wheels in Cedric's head turning.

"I have begun thinking of retiring in the last year or so. Calista will become the next royal sorcerer of Enchancia after me, as you know. She's been coming for a week a month the past half year to get acquainted with the routines here. I think she might be ready to handle things on her own for a little bit."

"Really?" Sofia felt herself smiling up at him with wide eyed hope.

"I'd have to get the King's approval mind you, and make sure Calista can spare the time from her duties at the Hall of Masters, but yes I _might_ be able to accede to your request. When are you planning on leaving?"

"I was hoping to return tomorrow morning." She answered, her smile becoming contrite.

"Your timing is as grand as ever I see."

She gave him her most beguiling, wide eyed look now, the one she always used in tandem with her greatest weapon:

"Please Mr. Cedric?"

He huffed, and crossed his arms over his chest in mock grumpiness.

"Oh all right you infernal girl. You already knew I couldn't say no to you, even if I wanted to! I'll make sure the king agrees and meet you on the steps in the morning."

Throwing temperance to the wind she threw her arms around him and squeezed him close, bouncing a little as she did.

"Thank you Cedric! Thank you," She knew he must have heard the new tears in her voice because instead of pushing her away he pulled her in just as he had the day before.

She hoped he understood these tears were from relief.

"Infernal girl," he whispered into her hair, giving her a squeeze of his own.

After more minutes than were probably proper they both pulled apart. Sofia wiping her eyes and Cedric brushing down his robes.

"Now, I believe you promised to pick me some thorny blackberry." He said, as though they hadn't just been embracing on the boarder of the garden.

"I did didn't I?" She brushed her hair back and put a sunny smile on her face.

"You did and now that you're putting me out like this I'm going to insist you pick me some rose hips too! The ones from the _particularly_ thorny rose bush!" There was a teasing glint in his eye and she matched it with one of her own.

"Of course _Mr._ Cedric."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello from Vancouver! I'm on the road right now and I'm told internet might get spotty for the next few days so this will probably by my update for the week. If you're also reading "Once Upon a Time" I'm sorry I couldn't get a chapter of that out as well but between the packing and driving I just couldn't make it happen!**

4.

" _By all the gods what were you thinking taking her out to see those ruffians in their huts?_

 _Sofia felt…blurry, as if her mind and body where just out of her grasp, fuzzy at the edges of her consciousness._

" _Oh please, you're crushing her with all your overbearing lectures and snobbish expectations. She needed to get away from here and that's where she wanted to go. Nothing happened! You saw the way the ones who helped me bring her back behaved. They think she's an angel fallen from heaven!"_

 _There was a snort then, the most unladylike sound Sofia had ever thought to hear from her most refined and exacting lady._

" _I wasn't aware tending to her gentle soul was in the purview of your orders."_

" _I don't have any orders. He doesn't own me!"_

" _Doesn't he?"_

" _The both of you be silent!" A new voice broke into the squabbling. A decidedly male one. "Her Highness is waking."_

 _Forcing her eyes open, unsure why it was such an effort, Sofia found three anxious faces standing over her: Duchess Dusselstein, Countess Ormandy, and a man Sofia hadn't met yet but was sure, by his look, was the Royal Physician._

" _Your Highness, how are you feeling?" The man asked as he picked up her wrist and began taking her pulse, his eyes on his pocket watch rather than her._

" _I'm…alright." She answered slowly, trying to figure out if that was really the case. "I'm just very tired."_

" _Hmm." The doctor said noncommittally. "My counterpart in Enchancia didn't mention you had a history of fainting. Does this happen often?"_

" _No," Sofia felt bewildered by the naked expressions of anticipation that now shone on all three faces. "I've never fainted before."_

 _The doctor made another wordless noise and then turned to the Duchess._

" _Has she had her courses since coming to Freezenberg?"_

 _The Duchess blushed at the question, but Sofia realized it must be one of her duties to know such things because she was able to answer readily._

" _Not yet. Though it's only been three weeks since his Highness started…fulfilling his duty."_

 _It was Sofia's turn to blush. The heat in her cheeks was so uncomfortable she was sure she was beet red from the roots of her hair all the way to tips of her toes._

" _Well, it's too early to be certain, but I think there's cause to hope."_

 _Duchess Duesselstein's embarrassment turned into a wide, hopeful smile, complete with hands clasped under her chin. Countess Ormandy's expression was harder to read, but she nodded her head in a serious manner._

" _Hope for what?" Sofia asked, finally fed up with the way they seemed to be treating her more as a specimen for their consideration than an actual person._

" _An heir my dear." The doctor looked down on her again with an expression that suggested he thought she was particularly slow. "It's not usual for young, healthy women such as yourself to faint but, given the amount of magic the Countess said you were using it's possible you collapsed because the majority of your energy reserves were already being directed towards something else. Nurturing a new life if Freezenberg is lucky."_

 _If Sofia had looked confused before, she was sure her expression was only more so now. She might be pregnant… with Carl's child…after only three weeks? Of course she knew eventually motherhood was in her future. It was inevitable, not just an expectation, but a requirement of her new position in life._

 _And of course she'd always wanted to be a mother. But so soon? And…with him?_

 _Duchess Dusselstein and the Doctor were still talking, the doctor giving her explicit instructions on how she should care for the Princess in the coming weeks, until they could be sure if there was reason to celebrate or not._

 _Sofia wasn't even listening. Instead she turned, trying to block out the three hoverers, wanting to curl into herself protectively as the tears began to fall._

 _Yes she'd always wanted to be a mother. A mother just like her own. A nurturing, loving, presence there for all the wonders and all the sorrows life would bring. And she'd always imagined the father of her child as a man she could love, respect, and adore. She'd pictured it once in her most secret fantasies._

 _The three of them on a small bed together. Her holding their child, exhausted but exhilarated to know she'd fought the good fight and brought their babe hale and hearty into the world. Him holding the both of them whispering how elated he was as they looked down on the tiny bundle of perfection they'd created out of their love! Joy and happiness surrounding them like an impenetrable bubble. Their first child would be a son, of course. One to make him proud…to take his wand._

" _Get out! Just shut up and get out!" Sofia screamed, suddenly sitting up on the bed and slashing her arm out violently, almost slapping the doctor in the face. "All of you! Get out and leave me alone!"_

 _Sofia could hear the astonished murmurs of her other ladies, just beyond the open doors of her bedchamber, as well as see the shock pale faces of the two in front of her and she'd honestly never cared less about the fact she might have offended someone._

 _The doctor, Duchess, and Countess all looked at each other, confounded by her outburst, but then the Doctor rose from the seat he'd pulled over to her bedside and made a motion for the two ladies to proceed him out of the room._

" _Come, her Highness needs her rest." He said, authoritatively._

 _The ladies followed him out, the Countess giving her what Sofia could have sworn was a look of sympathy before closing the door._

 _Once she was by herself, blessedly alone for the first time in five weeks, Sofia didn't even try to stop it all from crumbling to pieces. The pressure she felt in this new world, her hatred of Carl, her longing for her home, her friends, her family, her mother, and… Cedric. She missed Cedric so much!_

 _Throwing herself back on the pillows Sofia let the storm of tears break. She cried for her freedom, for her dreams, for her faith in life and love and people which felt might be forever gone now. She cried because she'd lost the man she loved and her very best friend all in a single moment and she could never have him back. She cried because she knew Cedric had never loved her, not the way she loved him. If he had he would have taken her away._

 _She cried because she felt as though the walls were falling in around her, burying her alive under the weight of the expectations of this new life and she'd barely found her footing, hardly knew how_ _ **she**_ _would make it here and now there might be a child too. A tiny, helpless little life who would need her to be strong for it, to love it, to keep the light of hope, and the strength of love alive in his heart and she didn't even know if she had any hope or strength left._

 _And then she suddenly she stopped, a fear like never before rising in her. Her husband was this child's father. The sobs wanted to continue but the thought of sharing this innocent life with him made her body so violently revolt that while the wracking spasms continued Sofia felt choked. She couldn't get enough air anymore to make the sound of crying._

 _Sitting up, breathing hard, she looked down on her form, pulling the nightgown she'd been changed into tight around her body. Her stomach was flat. No sign whatsoever anything was different than it had been a day ago, or a week ago, or a month ago._

 _Placing a hand on the flatness Sofia closed her eyes and prayed for something she'd never dreamed she would._

" _Please, don't let it be true! Please, not now, not yet. I can't, I just can't." The sobs were back and she just let them come, not thinking of anything or praying for anything or hoping for anything, just letting the gale of emotion crest and finally recede leaving her haggard, but blessedly numb._

 _For a long time afterward Sofia simply stared at her reflection in the great mirror opposite her bed._

 _Then, never really making the decision to, she rose and walked over to her wardrobe. Opening the gilded monstrosity she pushed the heavy, intricate court gowns to the side, revealing a dress that had been frowned over when it came out of her trunks and hidden at the back where it couldn't offend the eyes of any of the ladies who dressed her. It was a simple dress in dark purple that required no petticoats or other cumbersome undergarments. It was a dress she'd often worn when she was playing apprentice to her sorcerer._

 _Forgoing a corset as well she slipped the ankle length gown over her head, did the single button at the back of the neck, and tied the black sash that belted the waist. On her feet she put her simplest pair of black satin slippers and then she walked out the doors to find all her ladies really had fled from her._

 _It would make finding her destination harder, but otherwise Sofia felt completely indifferent to their presence or lack thereof._

 _Thinking about a possible baby would make her insane. She was quite sure of that after the hurricane which had been her grief. She needed something to preoccupy her. Something meaningful she could throw herself into to soak up the days until she knew for certain._

 _Countess Ormandy said the people from the village had helped bring her back here after she'd collapsed. That they had treated her like an angel fallen from heaven. Sofia knew she was no angel, but that didn't mean she couldn't help them. Someone needed too and it was clear her husband and father in law couldn't have cared less._

 _Rounding another endless corridor Sofia felt certain she'd found her destination in the double doors at the end of this hall._

 _She believed her husband was a lost cause, but the King she wasn't sure of. Maybe if she could present him with a concrete course of action he would be willing to do something._

 _Opening the double doors Sofia smiled, feeling pride she'd found her way without help._

 _Freezenberg's Royal Library was a huge structure that took up five floors of the east wing of the palace. And in it, Duchess Dusselstein had boasted on the tour she'd given Sofia and her family after the wedding, was contained every book ever printed in the hundred and thirty-seven kingdoms._

 _Sofia knew if she were to find an answer to Freezenberg's food problems the clues would be here somewhere._

" _Cedric would love this place!" She said to the vast emptiness as she stood in the middle of the room and turned quietly in place, awed for the both of them._

 _Over their years together Sofia had come to realize Cedric's knowledge far outstripped what anyone gave him credit for. Of course his tower was covered in spell books from top to bottom, but he also had an interest in science, machinery and invention, and in the last few years he'd taken a particular interest in medicine and healing._

 _Unfortunately for both of them the Royal Library of Enchancia was a sad little thing. Her father loved many things but reading had never been one of them. He was meticulous in making sure the collection they had was maintained, as a duty to his forbearers, but he had no interest in adding to it. What few books they had acquired in her time there had been procured at her mother's request._

" _At least there's some good in never settling for anything less than the best."_

 _Sofia wasn't sure what she was looking for but she thought the best place to start was to figure out if the land could be made arable and so she found a large section on farming practices and soil compositions and began reading._

 _Sofia had no clue how long she sat at the table perusing one book after another. Dark had fallen just as she'd hit on the first inkling of an idea and she'd almost forgotten her manors when the servants who came in to light the many candles in the main room left her a few to take through the stacks._

 _Sofia settled back in her chair, a large map of Freezenberg laid out in front of her. Yawning and rubbing her eyes she tried to piece everything together. She'd collected a table's worth of books and had focused herself on something which seemed incredibly outlandish at first, but might actually work._

 _To make it reality though she would need to put aside her bruised heart and swallow a healthy dose of her pride. Not just in going to the King, but in asking for help from the only capable person she knew._

 _She hadn't spoken two words to Cedric since the day of her betrothal. She'd been so hurt by the way he seemed eager to throw her out of his life she hadn't even picked out the spells he'd performed during her wedding. She'd turned and ran, leaving him standing on the ladder in his workshop slack jawed and shouting for her to come back._

 _After that she'd avoided him at every turn, abandoning her apprenticeship and refusing his attempts to smooth things over. Even months later when he'd preformed at her wedding, beautiful spells that floated out on purple ribbons of magic and burst and sparkled like sunlight shattered by diamonds, magic she knew he'd made just for her, to apologize, to affirm her status as his most treasured friend, she'd done nothing more than coldly nod at him in acknowledgement._

 _In retrospect she was ashamed of the way she'd treated him. But at the same time she wasn't sure she was ready to prostrate herself at his feet and beg forgiveness._

" _Have you lost your pathetic, provincial little mind?"_

 _Sofia jumped at the sound of the voice. The double doors banged into the walls behind them, as her husband came roaring into the room._

" _LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!" He shouted, made angrier by her lack of attention._

 _Closing her eyes and gritting her teeth, Sofia rose from the table and turned slowly around. It took everything in her not to cringe back when she found he was directly behind her._

" _Have you been in here all night? Everyone is looking for you!" He accused, fuming at her. "You missed dinner and when I inquired where the hell you were, I was told you collapsed, while gallivanting in a peasant village, waving your little wand about. So I'm going to ask you again_ _ **Madame**_ _, have you lost your mind?"_

 _Sofia took a deep breath and met his gaze unflinchingly._

 _She'd never been a coward and she'd never been a wilting, weeping girl, but she'd let herself be cowed into appearing as both since the moment she'd gotten here. It had to stop. Especially if there was going to be a child._

" _I've never been more in my right mind, Carl." Before he could interrupt her she barreled on. "You're right, I am provincial. No one lied to you about that. I was born a peasant, but my father made me a royalty, and what I saw today angered the peasant in me and shamed the princess._

 _Your subjects are sick and starving and afraid of the very people who should be helping them. You sit in your gilded palace, with more food than you could ever eat, and more money than you could ever spend, and live high on the backs of people who can barely scrape by enough to keep their childrens' bodies and souls together._

 _You're their Prince! Don't you feel even the slightest responsibility to them?"_

 _Carl Scoffed at her and rolled his eyes._

" _I am prince! They owe_ _ **me**_ _loyalty and devotion, not the other way around Sofia! Besides their peasants, they breed faster than rabbits! Why should I care if one or two of them die today, they'll be ten more born tomorrow!"_

 _In her mind's eye Sofia saw her hand swinging out, the large diamond on her fourth finger catching the side of his cheek and opening it in a spray of blood as she beat the monstrous in-humanness out of him._

 _But she knew if she wanted to actually help the people she'd met today she would have to have him on her side. Now he knew what she was about he'd make it his mission to block any attempt she made with the King out of malice._

" _You are the Prince. One day you'll be the King. Would you like to be revered? Sung about in songs and remembered in stories? Or would you like to be buried under the people's hate, forgotten the second your flashy, gaudy funeral is over?"_

" _What could you possibly do to make sure they revere me?" He scoffed and Sofia bristled at the knowledge his question was sincere. He really believed she was nothing, incapable of anything more than looking pretty and giving him heirs._

" _I can show you how to feed your people. I can give them the means to feed themselves. Put food in their stomachs and they'll love you till the world ceases turning. As long as even a single Freezenberger is left on this earth your name will be remembered."_

" _How?"_

 _Sofia could have laughed._

 _She'd been so afraid of him all these weeks, cowering at even the thought of him, but the truth was sobering. He was just a man, and an easily maneuvered one at that. If she were honest she knew she'd won Cedric over all those years ago by applying to his vanity, stroking his ego. He wanted to be appreciated, admired, respected, and cared for, though he'd never admit the last._

 _Cedric was a man worth admiring, respecting, and caring for though. He hadn't always been, but just knowing one person thought he was sensational had made him so, and it had been the key to putting him on the better path._

 _Carl wasn't a tenth the man Cedric was and as she looked at her spoiled, arrogant, avaricious husband she knew he never would be. But maybe she could bend his vanity to the same end, putting him on the better path even if he himself would never become truly better._

" _Magic," she began, "Magic and your volcano."_

" _Mount Skjolder? It's been inactive for three hundred years, what about it?"_

" _It's been dormant, but it's not dead. And the land around it has been blanketed in volcanic ash. Volcanic soil is the most fertile on earth." She explained, turning to hold up a book._

" _That may be, but the ground is still frozen." He countered, with a superior smile._

" _That's where magic comes in. If we can make caves at the base of the mountain we can move the soil underground. The geothermal heat will thaw it and provide the warmth needed to grow plants. For light we can make cave crystals with diamond dust, enough to mount on the ceilings. A very talented sorcerer can even enchant them to only shine half the day so the constant light won't interrupt the proper cycle of photosynthesis."_

 _He looked at her well and truly astonished, and Sofia had to tamp down on the beautiful vision of slapping him again._

" _My people don't know anything about farming." His voice was weaker now, not necessarily looking for a way to cut her down._

" _I know some people who live their whole lives in caves. If you can find people willing to re-locate and learn a new livelihood my friends can teach them."_

" _Can you really make a cave system and move the soil yourself? Countess Ormandy said your magic is quite good." The last was muttered begrudgingly but Sofia ignored the tenor and simply took the compliment._

" _Not right now." She began, but then found she couldn't bring herself to tell him why. "But what I can't do Enchancia's royal sorcerer can. Between him and me it won't be a problem." Carl made a disgusted face at the mention of Cedric, but then he looked back at the book._

" _If this fails and you humiliate me, I swear I'll make life harder for you than you ever imagined it could be."_

" _It won't fail. And you'll be a hero."_

 _He seemed to ponder that for another long minute, his disdain for her clearly warring with his greed._

" _Let's go talk to my father."_

 _Sofia's watched as he walked determinedly back towards the door, feeling something like that butterfly anxiousness she felt after crossing the finish line during a derby race. That odd in between feeling where the mind knows it's won but the body still thinks it's fighting._

" _Well, are you coming? …_

Sofia eyes shot open, the sound of her husband's voice still echoing in her head.

"He's not here." She whispered to herself a few times before pushing the heavy velvet of her blankets away and swinging her feet over the side of the bed.

Walking over to her dressing table Sofia poured some water from the pitcher and began washing her face and brushing her teeth. She'd nearly finished when Violet knocked softly on the door.

"Good morning Princess. Did you sleep well?"

Sofia didn't think it was worth admitting that even though she went to bed feeling better and better with each passing day, she still spent her nights reliving memories, as though her mind were trying to make a final peace with the last fifteen years before laying it to rest.

"I did thank you, Violet." She answered instead.

An hour later Sofia was dressed in a high collared, sapphire colored travel gown, trimmed in black. Her hair had been pulled into a low ponytail secured by a matching blue ribbon, her wealth of long, cherry brown hair curled into four thick ringlets that fell most of the way down her back. And Violet was just securing the wide brimmed travel hat to her head with a diamond and sapphire hat pin before giving the enormous blue bow a finally tug to make sure it would stay secured under her chin.

"You're sure you won't take a bite to eat before you go, Madame?"

Sofia smiled at her maid with true affection. She'd so wanted to take Violet with her when she'd first moved to Freezenberg. And she knew the loyal woman would have come with her if she'd asked it, but King Henrik hadn't wanted the extra expense of moving Violet's husband, Armstrong the Sculpter, and their three children. So Sofia abandoned the idea, knowing she couldn't bear to separate Violet from her family.

Perhaps now though, she might be able to convince Violet to come with her. Her children were all grown and had lives and families of their own, and Sofia could afford to move and house two more people.

"No I'll eat when I get home. Thank you Violet."

Her maid smiled and bobbed a curtsey.

"If you're sure, M'lady." She prodded one more time, her eyebrow slightly raised, wishing Sofia would reconsider.

"Thank you Violet, I hope I'll see you soon." Sofia said instead, already beginning to plan how she could lure Violet to Freezenberg, maybe with a little cottage on the grounds of her estate, so she and Armstrong could have some privacy and a real home of their own.

Stepping out into the morning light, Sofia saw the whole family, even the King had come out to say goodbye.

The girls and Vivian all hugged her heartily, as did James. The King was less profuse, but he did say farewell and bid her a safe trip. Just as she was about to get into the coach, Cedric came hurrying out, the handle of his shabby old green carpet bag in one hand and two huge spell books gripped precariously under his arm.

Handing them off to Sofia's footman he bowed to the Rolland, James, and Vivian. Then Sofia watched, astonished, as he bent down to receive a hug from both of the little princesses. Rosamund was much more graceful and reserved about it than Lynette, but Sofia did notice it was the eldest princess who took it upon herself to let Cedric know he would be missed.

"I'll make sure to come back with a little magical something to delight the both of you," he said softly, smiling fondly at both girls as he rose back up, giving a final stiff bow to the King before entering the coach.

Sofia waved one last time and gave her gloved hand to her footman so he could help her up into the gilded conveyance as well.

Once she was in, Sofia found herself feeling brave, if not a little mischievous, and chose to sit next to her sorcerer instead of across from him. Cedric rewarded her bravery with a raised eyebrow, but she noticed he didn't move to give himself more space. And again she found herself thinking it might be okay to hope, just a little bit.

Once the coach was in the air she couldn't help teasing him.

"When did you become such a softy?" She chuckled, as she unpinned the atrociously uncomfortable hat and threw it gracelessly on the empty bench across from them.

"Pardon?" He said, turning to her.

His expression was so wonderfully irritated she knew he understood exactly what she meant, but again she couldn't help herself. Using what she thought was a very passable imitation of his unique accent she parroted his parting words to the girls.

"I'll make sure to come back with a little magical something to delight the both of you. That's a far cry from 'What are you doing here and why are there so many of you?'"

He made a huffing noise and rolled his eyes at her.

"I have not gone soft!" He insisted, but then smiled at her just a tiny bit. "But a certain someone _may_ have shown me not all children are rotten little brats who deserve to be turned into toadstools."

Sofia put her hand to her mouth in mock astonishment.

"Aww, look at how sweet you are!" She giggled.

"Yes," he pulled the word out to twice its normal length. "I'm made of cotton candy and unicorn tales." He ended with a shake of his head before turning back to the window.

"You're in a good mood today." She ventured, knowing she should stop teasing him now.

He looked back at her and this time there was a real smile on his face.

"Yes, I suppose I am. I've been shut up in that drafty tower for too long. It's nice to get out for a bit, even if it _is_ to Freezenberg." He shuddered as he said the last, and Sofia couldn't help rolling her eyes at his abject dislike for a place where he was so well thought of. "I dare say it's certainly nice to have you here safe and well beside me, instead of in trouble or angry with me as you usually are when I'm racing off to that frozen hellhole you call home."

Sofia crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at him.

"That's hardly fair, I've almost never been angry with you." She tried to keep her tone light and bantering.

"Yes, but when are…you never do anything by halves!"

Sofia snorted and smirked good naturedly, but inside she felt an old niggle of guilt and also a little bit of astoundment. It had been fifteen years, how had they never talked about any of this? Sofia knew the answer was that whenever they were together now it was usually because of some crisis. They were always single-mindedly focused on finding an answer or fighting her husband and his father to achieve their end.

"If I never got around to saying it, I'm truly sorry I took out all my anger on you. You didn't deserve…any of it really. I shouldn't have come to you asking for a way to shirk my duties."

He turned fully to her now, so their knees touched, and laid his hand on her gloved one.

"Thank you for that, but I think we both know I deserved at least some of your anger."

She put her other hand on top his, clasping it tightly.

"How do you figure that?"

He sighed and ran his other hand through his already messy gray hair before turning his head to look back at the window.

"You wanted me to save you and I could have. I just wouldn't. I could have taken you away, hidden you for the rest of your life, but I didn't." There was a tone to Cedric's voice that surprised Sofia. As though he were making some sort of deep, dark confession that had been weighing on him all these years.

Patting his hand, she felt the need to comfort him. It was practically instinctual for her to want to make others happy, or take away their hurts, but with Cedric the compulsion was always doubly strong.

"I always knew you could have and I won't lie, it hurt. I think that's why I was so…dreadful to you. But if you need forgiving, Cedric, I forgave you a long time ago."

"Really?" He asked, turning back to eye her suspiciously.

"Of course. I was angry and I was desperate. But after you came to help me make the caves at Skjolder I realized how utterly unfair to you I was. If you'd helped me run away you would have had to give up everything you'd worked so hard for. Everything your father and his father and his father had worked so hard for. You would have been disgraced and it would have ruined your whole family, everyone who came before and everyone who'll come afterward.

Something I ignored. I was so caught up in my own drama I never even thought of the sacrifice I was asking you to make. To shirk your duty not just to Enchancia but to your family, that's a lot, even for a friend."

Sofia held back, not willing to admit why she'd hoped he would want to take her away without a thought for his duty. If she wanted to believe his feelings for her could still grow and change, she couldn't risk him saying outright he'd never felt that way about her.

"Not just a friend Sofia, you were...you still are my best friend."

Sofia let the ends of her mouth tip up at that. It wasn't love, but his friendship had been one of her only sources of strength all these years and she would never belittle or undervalue it.

"I'm glad to hear you say that."

He quirked the corner of his mouth slightly.

"Were you in doubt of it?"

Sofia shrugged.

"Not really, but I guess sometimes I let myself forget. After all you didn't really seem to miss me all that much. When you came to Skjolder you were…."

He cut her off with a wave of his free hand then.

"Please don't. Somethings and some people are better left in the past."

Sofia nodded, understanding better than he knew the hurt he was trying to avoid remembering.

"I'm just very glad you're not one of those people." He said, and Sofia got the feeling he offered such a revealing peak at his affection for her as a thank you for letting old ghosts lie.

She wished she could do the same. But now the playful banter had become more serious, and before he put an end to the first open conversation they'd ever had about their friendship she had to know.

"Did you miss me? Even a little?" Sofia almost immediately regretted asking, as she watched the look of genuine pain that came over him.

"Merlin's Mushrooms, girl! How can you even ask that?" He ripped his hand out from between her own and started gesticulating wildly, forcing her to slide away from him on the bench. "It was like a piece of me was ripped away! Like I had a gaping wound nothing could staunch." His face grew red as he gaped at her. "And then that letter! I can still recall every line, Sofia, every line! 'Though I know I have no right to impose upon you by any personal persuasion, as Crown Princess of Freezenberg I beg you to use the wealth of your talents on behalf of those who have none'. Were you trying to shove the knife in deeper?"

He seemed to lose steam then, his chest visibly deflating as he shrank back against the seat.

"You can really quote the letter?" squeaked out of her for what reason she couldn't fathom.

His only response was a kind of deadpan cocking of the entire left side of his face.

"No I wasn't trying to hurt you more. I was just so hurt myself and so confused by how you seemed to want me to go to Freezenberg I thought if I asked you as my friend you might refuse."

"I never wanted you to go Sofia, never." His words were quiet but filled with conviction.

"Then why didn't you help me, or at least…" She stopped frustrated, trying to make sense of all the old, fetid emotions inside her. "Or at least sympathize? It would have meant so much just to hear you say you'd miss me."

"Do you want me to answer honestly, or prettily?"

She sneered at him though there was no real venom in the look.

"I don't come to you for tact Cedric, I already know you have none. If I didn't want the honest answer I wouldn't have asked to begin with.

"To true," he murmured matching her sneer for sneer before taking a deep breath and diving in. "Here it is then. At first I believed I said what I said because you would never really be happy going back to being a peasant. But after many years of reliving that moment I think my true motivations where less straightforward.

The world is full of bad rulers and mediocre ones. King Henrik is, in my opinion, the former, and your father is the latter." Cedric stopped, holding up his hand as though to keep her from rushing to Rolland's defense. "Oh I know he's generally thought of as a wonderful King. But he isn't. He's benefited from an almost providential streak of good fortune and his policies have done nothing more than maintain the status quo. Luckily for all of us there has never been a serious challenge or threat to Enchancia during his reign.

Your brother is much like his father. A good sort of lad, not overly greedy or entitled, but no matter how much you love James' you can't deny he's no more of a mental titan now than he was when your father so _wisely_ let him play at being king for a day. Any hope Enchancia has I lay squarely at the feet of Princess Vivian. He will get the credit, but she will be the mind behind his rule.

No there are a great lot of bad ones and an even greater lot of so-so ones. But in order for the world to thrive and not just survive, every once and a while there must be a great ruler. You proved that day when you held James' hand from throne room to crumbling cookie house you had it in you to be a great ruler.

No matter how much I wanted to make you happy. No matter how much I wanted to keep you by my side, eventually you would have regretted your decision and the world generally and Freezenberg most assuredly would have suffered for your absence.

I am sorry I made the decision for you, truly. I won't insult you by pretending I've had it harder than you all these years. Or that you don't have every right to look back on it all and ask why you should have been forced to endure all this when so many others are given a free pass at life. But I knew it was a moment and a choice that could never be gotten back and I knew in the end, you were meant for greater things than cobbling shoes in some squat little village of hovels.

I just hate that I had a hand in forcing you to grow up, and in the inevitable destruction of that innocence of yours I found so irritatingly charming."

"You can't rule and be innocent." Sofia whispered, overwhelmed by his confession. "Carl taught me that."

Cedric nodded, a small, wistful air turning up the corners of his mouth, just a bit.

"No, I don't suppose you can. But when I see you each time I feel less and less guilty for that because you have retained something more special and more beautiful than your innocence."

"Oh?"

"You still have your compassion and now you've added wisdom and knowledge to it, and they've served your people well."

"If you had it do over again would you do anything different?"

Cedric took her hand again and this time he cradled it between both his own.

"I would tell you how much I was going to miss you. And how deeply sorry I am that things couldn't be different. But I would still tell you to go to Freezenberg. And I would still be sitting beside you now, as your friend, your _best_ friend, proud to know the woman you are today."

"You've changed too you know." She said, smiling through the mist of tears that were threatening to fall.

"I dare say. I'm far grayer than I used to be!" He quipped, breaking the heavy atmosphere of confession and absolution that had been enveloping them.

"It's quite distinguished." Sofia laughed softly, sliding back against him and putting her other hand over his. "Quite handsome."

Then, ever so slowly, giving him time to see her intention and refuse if he so chose, she laid her head on his shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Greetings from Alaska!**

 **The family and I made it to our new home state, but it will be a couple of weeks before we're out of our hotel and into our new home, so updates may still be a little spotty as we're getting settled. I am writing away though and I promise for anyone reading 'Once Upon a Time' I'm working on that as well. Free just took over my head a little on the trip.**

 **That being said, I was dumb and sat with this for too long. Since we didn't have internet access for a lot of our drive up here, this chapter has been mostly done for a while and so inevitably I've read it and re-read it and re-edited it to the point where I think it's awful. It may very well be, but I'm going to let go and release it so I can be free of fretting over it!**

5.

"Sofia," a soft voice whispered. "Sofia it's time to wake up. We've arrived."

"Hmm, no," she mumbled. "I want to stay here."

There was a low, indulgent sounding chuckle and then, despite her sleep fogginess, she was sure she felt a soft caress on the crown of her head… a kiss.

Sofia sighed.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so safe or content.

"While I'd have no objection, I rather think your coachman would like to put the carriage away at some point."

Sofia's eyes fluttered open to find she'd fallen asleep with her head on Cedric's shoulder.

She righted herself, ignoring the protest of her now stiff back and trying to appear ladylike as she wiped the corner of her mouth. Staring at the shoulder of Cedric's robe she realized there was probably no point in the attempt. There was a dark, damp bloom covering most of it.

"I'm sorry!" She offered. "I haven't been sleeping well."

"Well you seemed to be making up for it quite enthusiastically."

Cedric's mouth was turned up in a teasing smirk, but Sofia would have sworn the expression didn't reach his eyes. As he disentangled their hands she was sure she saw something wistful there. As though he might have wanted to keep her pressed against him just a little longer. The possibility sent an excited tingle zinging through her body and she had to suppress the shudder it caused.

"Mother," the coach door swung open to reveal the Crown Prince of Freezenberg.

"Freddie!" Sofia's face broke into a wide smile as she stood excitedly and took the hand her son offered.

When she was down from the coach she threw her arms around the young man and marveled at how he seemed to have grown just in the two days she'd been away. He was her height now and she knew it would hardly be a year before he was looking down on her with that partly indulgent partly embarrassed look he always wore when she insisted on behaving so 'rustically' as he liked to put it.

"There's nothing more touching than a son re-uniting with his adoring mother?"

Sofia's head snapped up to see an unexpected figure standing just a few feet away.

"Your Grace," she knew Freddie, being fourteen, would have preferred for his mother to let him go now, but Sofia's first instinct was to pull him protectively closer. "Did you bring Freddie yourself?"

The man bowed.

"As head of Prince Frederick's household, it's my duty to make sure he's safe at all times."

Sofia bristled at his condescending tone but before she could give an answer he straightened to his full, and impressive height, flashing her his most smoldering expression.

"And besides, if I hadn't escorted his Highness I wouldn't have had the chance to see you." He had been moving towards her as he said the last but came up short, stiffening, when Cedric descended the coach and came to stand beside her.

Sofia tried to keep her face neutral as she watched the two men size each other up. But she couldn't help feeling the tiny tingle again as Cedric slid closer to her, till there was barely any space between them.

"Ah, I didn't realize you had other guests." The intruder said, pasting a pleasant look on his face even as his body remained stiff. "Won't you introduce us?"

Sofia bit her tongue to keep the words she truly wanted to say from jumping out.

"I'm sure you both know each other by reputation." She began, feigning pleasantness. "Alexander Esterhausen, Duke of Lentz, I present you Cedric the Sensational, Royal Sorcerer of Enchancia, my mentor, and dearest friend." She turned to Cedric then, laying a hand familiarly on his arm. "Mr. Cedric, the Duke of Lentz is head of Freddie's household and responsible for all things that concern my son."

Where there should have been bows and a courteous exchange of words, both men simply nodded grudgingly.

"Well," Sofia said brusquely. "I thank you for personally assuring Freddie's safe arrival. Now that's done I wouldn't dream of keeping you any longer, Your Grace. I know how valuable your time is."

Sofia didn't miss the dark look that passed over the Duke's face as he took in the sight of her standing between her son and her sorcerer. When he spoke again he spoke to her, but she could see his eyes never left Cedric.

"Not at all. In fact, I find myself with a bit of leisure and I was hoping we might use the time to catch up." The corners of his mouth turned up as he landed his next words like arrows. "It's been too long since we've had a chance to really spend time together, Sophie."

With her hand still on his arm, Sofia couldn't miss the way Cedric flinched at the Duke's intimate shortening of her name. Sofia had to tamp down hard on her own reaction. As much as she'd love to, she knew it would be a foolish and frankly amateur mistake to be openly rude.

With Carl dead and the young prince given to his care, Alexander Esterhausen was a powerful, powerful man. A fact he was well aware of.

Instead she smiled again, if tightly, and nodded her head.

"I'm always interested in hearing all the goings on at court and Your Grace has a most unique perspective on things. If you truly have a bit of free time I'd be honored to have you stay to dinner?"

A self-satisfied smirk blossomed on the Duke's face before he bowed gallantly.

It made Sofia's teeth clench in frustration, but she managed to keep her smile. Tilting her head to the side she beckoned to her steward who stood on the steps with the other senior staff, waiting silently.

"Underhill, would you please make sure Mr. Cedric and Freddie are shown to their apartments. I'll escort his Grace to one of the guest rooms so he can freshen up before dinner."

It wasn't the way she'd wanted the afternoon to go.

She'd hoped to show Cedric around her home, proudly pointing out all the places she knew he'd love. The library she was putting together, the workshop she'd only just finished before she left, the enchanted greenhouse she was building for potion ingredients and magical herbs and flowers.

Then she'd wanted to take him to his rooms.

The 'house' wasn't really a house at all. It was a small country estate, quaint by the standards of those who dwelt in palaces and castles, but large by any others. It had an entire wing of guest apartments which she'd let Underhill furnish expensively and decorate lavishly. But Cedric's place wasn't there. He would never be a 'guest' in her home. She'd given him the rooms across from her own, in the family wing. And she'd decorated them herself, just for him, in deep blues and rich purples with splashes of gold and yellow. She'd lined the walls with copies of some of his favorite books and left space hoping he might want to add more. There were even perches and nests for Wormwood and a fine strong oak just outside the window the aging raven could enjoy.

It was the kind of place he should have been afforded in Enchancia, if her step-father had been more respectful of Cedric's position and talents. Instead he'd been relegated to sleeping in a damp, windowless expanse down a staircase from his workshop, a place she was fairly certain was supposed to be some sort of storage room.

She'd hoped this small gesture would make up for some of the slights he'd suffered. If nothing else she hoped he'd be touched by the material expression of her esteem. Because whether their relationship ever grew into something more or not, he was still the person she loved and admired most in the world.

Then she'd wanted to have dinner with her son and her sorcerer and spend the evening watching contentedly as they picked up with the easy report they'd always enjoyed. She loved the way Freddie adored her friend and how Cedric's manner, so different from anyone else her son knew, always seemed to intrigue the boy, bringing out the very best of his character.

Instead she would have to entertain Alexander.

"Once we're settled what would your Highness say to a magic lesson?" Cedric's voice brought her back from her disappointed thoughts and she watched as Freddie's eyes lit up.

"Thank you Mr. Cedric! I brought my wand just like mother asked me too!" The boy declared excitedly.

As Cedric moved to follow Freddie inside he shot Sofia a look she couldn't quite interpret. But it was dark in a way she'd never seen from him. It pulled at something deep inside her and made her want to run after him. But she couldn't. As much as she wanted to know what that look meant she had to deal with the Duke first.

As if on queue he sidled up next her, offering his arm in gentlemanlike fashion to escort her inside.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner," the Duke began as they started inside. His voice sounding earnest and confidential. "I've…missed you."

Sofia smiled slightly, hoping he would take the expression for pleasure at his declaration.

"I've only been away from court a few weeks." Sofia stated matter-of-factly, not bothering to add that she would have to have friends at court to be missed there. With Anna-Grete retired to the country to enjoy her numerous grandchildren she'd thought no one would even notice she was gone.

"Without you there it's as if the sun has set." He replied, his arm slipping from hers so he could grasp her hand.

Sofia stilled in front of the door to the first guest apartment and looked down, trying to hide how unsettled she was by his forwardness.

"Alexander, what's this all about?" She asked, dropping any pretense of disinterested banter.

"I told you Sophie, I miss you. I miss spending time with you. I would have thought I'd made that obvious by now."

Sofia extracted her hand from his.

"It's been years since we've 'spent time together' Your Grace."

There was a clear coolness to her voice which he chose to ignore.

Instead he stepped closer trying to invade her personal space. She matched his movement by taking one to the side, avoiding the frame of the door so he couldn't pin her against it.

"I know. You felt more for me than you could handle with a husband always lurking around the corner." His words were self-assured to the point of arrogance, but his face told a different story. There he wore a boyishly endearing expression, his longish blond hair falling in front of twinkling green eyes, his perfect bow of a mouth quirked up impishly. The look seemed to imply he was only hoping that had been the truth of it.

It sent a shiver down her spine.

A warning frission reminding her how good he was at this particular game. How he wouldn't be half as powerful as he was now if she hadn't been drawn in by his easy deceit.

"I enjoyed our time together for what it was Alexander." She began, cautiously. "But if you think there was anything more, you're mistaken. You're handsome and…skilled, as you're well aware, but you never touched my heart."

Instead of being put off, he just chuckled and took her hand again, drawing her reluctantly forward to press her palm to his chest.

"I must not be skilled enough if you really mean that." He paused letting the smolder make a reappearance. "But we were good together Sophie, you have to admit it. And things are different now for both of us. If you gave me the chance I know I could."

Sofia kept her face neutral, but inside she was sighing. She'd learned the art of diplomacy during her days at royal prep and honed it to a sharp edge here in Freezenberg, but when it came to intimate matters it seemed there was never a diplomatic way to turn down a determined man.

It angered her since she felt, for all her education, this was the arena in which women where most often forced to fight, whether they wanted to or not. To catch the attention of a man at court, no matter how unwittingly, was to be immediately ensnared in a world where your acceptance or rejection had consequences, often far reaching and almost never wholly understood in the moment.

As Princess, Sofia had been inevitably coveted by handsome, bold young men who wished to make their mark on the kingdom. And she'd played the game eagerly, once unwittingly and the other times quite purposefully. But for years now she'd shunned such entanglements, having grown tired of men who talked of love and bargained in passion but actually desired the exchange of power and favors that were the understood benefits of such assignations.

There was only one man she wanted in her bed from now on and he wasn't the one standing before her staring down with the hopeful eyes of a besotted puppy.

Since he wasn't going to let her settle this delicately Sofia opted instead for brevity.

"Please don't call me that." She said, pulling her hand away again and taking two steps back this time. "I have no interest in renewing our previous relationship Alexander."

Again he surprised her with a smile.

"I don't want to renew our 'previous' relationship either." He said, throwing her off.

"But, I thought…." He stepped forward again and Sofia wondered if he intended to shadow her across the entire house.

"I want to marry you."

"Excuse me?"

"I know you don't like sneaking around in dirty corners. You aren't the type of woman who's thrilled by something purely for its improperness. You want love. You want a man you can worship who will worship you right back. That man is me. We would be an unconquerable match together. We could be the kind of family you've always wanted, the kind of family you always wanted for Freddie. I know you Sofia. I know you better than you've ever given me credit for. Give me a chance."

Sofia's heart clenched at his words. If nothing else his assessment of her character was frighteningly accurate.

She realized she'd already been foolish to think he hadn't been paying attention to her all these years. Sizing and summing her up for the moment when he could take full advantage of her and what she could do for him again.

"Alex, I don't want to say something we'll both regret later, but I won't repeat myself either. When you came to court all those years ago, I thought you were kind and handsome and as miserable in your marriage as I was in mine. And for a time I thought we brought each other a little happiness, but that's all. I've spent the last fifteen years beholden to a man and I have no intention of doing it again any time in the near future, or ever with you. I'm flattered by your offer, but that's my final answer."

With that she turned and stalked determinedly to the end of the hall. When she made it she turned around and pinned him with a hard look.

"You're more than welcome to stay for dinner, but afterwards I expect you to leave."

Then she turned again and began descending the steps without a second look, secretly hoping he would simply disappear before Underhill called everyone.

.o~O*O~o.

After changing for dinner Sofia went in search of Freddie and Cedric and found them outside in the Nettle Blossom garden. The magic lesson appeared to be winding down so instead of interrupting, she chose to settle herself on the balcony of a small sitting room that overlooked the garden. A place where she could watch them unnoticed.

Cedric was showing Freddie how to levitate a few of the flowers and for the most part he seemed to be getting the hang of it, until he tried to float to many at once. The flowers started to swirl in the air uncontrollably flying about until Cedric returned them to their bed.

"That was excellent for a first try," The sorcerer praised, helping the boy see his attempt in a positive light.

"But I keep control!" Freddie sighed heavily, twisting his wand between hands that, like his feet, were just a little too big for his frame. "I never used to have this problem. I always thought I was pretty good at magic. I got straight 'A's in sorcery my last semester at Royal Prep. But now…"

Cedric's hand fell on the young Prince's shoulder.

"You have a great deal of talent. So much I would say it's fairly bursting out of you. I know you've suffered a great loss…" Sofia could tell Cedric was reluctant to openly talk about Carl's death.

But Freddie didn't really need him too.

"But I think there's something else causing you to falter." Her sorcerer's voice was calm and understanding and seemed to hit just the right chord with her son. Letting him puzzle it out for himself where she knew others were all too eager to jump in and tell him how he should feel or what he should think.

"I feel…" Freddie struggled for the right words, "I feel like there's only one of me and I wish there were four or five. One to go back to Royal Prep and be with my friends, and one to deal with all the people who want to help me deal with losing my father, one to help my grandfather, and on and on and on. Does that make sense?"

Cedric's nodded, settling on a bench as Freddie ordered his thoughts in his own time.

"And I'm scared." The young prince admitted after a while, taking the spot next to Cedric.

"That seems perfectly natural."

"But I shouldn't be! I'm supposed to be strong and brave. That's how my dad was, and that's what people expect in their prince. How do I make it stop? Is there some spell I could perform?"

Sofia watched Cedric inhale deeply before replying.

"When I was your age I wanted a spell to make everything better too."

Freddie looked up at the older man surprised. Despite how quickly he'd been asked to grow up, he was still child enough to think the people he looked up to had always existed in their current forms.

"It persisted well into adulthood for me. I knew I was talented, and I certainly had the training. I should have been a magnificent sorcerer, especially because I come from a long line of magnificent sorcerers. But I wasn't. I was always so nervous, so scared, I couldn't accomplish even the simplest things."

"Like what?"

"Once your Grandfather, King Rolland, asked me to turn a statue of a gargoyle into a golden horse. Instead I made it a real flying horse. The thing flew away from the castle, exclaiming over his freedom and dropping turds the whole way."

Freddie laughed at that, as only a teenage boy could. His mirth made Cedric laugh a little as well, and it seemed not entirely deprecatingly.

"It might not have worked out but you did something even more amazing. You gave a statue life!"

Cedric looked at the boy shocked. "I was so mired in my failure I never stopped to look at it that way."

"Well, you're not that way now. You're the most powerful sorcerer in the world!"

Cedric expression brightened proudly.

"Well there you have it. You don't need to be the strongest or the bravest, you just have to put your people first. If you do that they'll think you a hero.

"You're saying if I'm good and kind everyone will think I'm great. But you really did all those things they love you for." The boy clearly seemed confused.

Sofia couldn't help but feel that was the fault of the men around and in charge of him. Selfish men who never challenged him to think of his role as one of duty to others.

"I'm saying that if you rule in a way which helps your people than you'll be acting as a strong and brave Prince and they will give you their love for it. But you know that's not a path you have to travel alone. I had your mother. When she was a girl, before she married your father, she was always right beside me, wand in hand. And if I'm 'the most powerful sorcerer in the world' than that would be because of her. She believed in me when no one else did. She helped me become stronger and better." Cedric paused for a moment, making sure he had the young Prince's full attention. "If you let her she could be that person for you too."

"I can't do that." Any gentleness or vulnerability disappeared from her son's voice as he jumped up from his seat.

It made Sofia's throat constrict, to hear him so set against her even when she wasn't there. He would never let her in it seemed.

"She loves you, Frederick." Cedric ventured cautiously.

The boy's shoulders began to shake and suddenly his wand snapped in two.

"I know that!"

Cedric stood too, and instead of being cowed by Freddie's somewhat unpredictable temper he stepped up to the boy and stared straight down at him, every bit the dark and intimidating sorcerer she knew he was still capable of being.

"Then let her help you!"

The boy's façade of anger crumpled.

"I can't, Mr. Cedric. I can't. I have to protect her." The last was said so quietly, Sofia wasn't sure she'd even heard him correctly.

"From what?"

Freddie looked around them now as though he expected someone to come jumping out of the trees. Though thankfully he didn't look up.

"Duke Lentz."

"The Duke?"

"He wants things he shouldn't." Frustration began to take her son again, or perhaps it was really helplessness.

"What kinds of things?"

"He's the one who suggested to my Grandfather I should take on my father's duties. But it's because he wants to make my decisions for me. He thinks I'm just a weak boy and he can have my role as prince," Freddie paused, looking up at Cedric pointedly, "and my mother."

Cedric seemed momentarily lost for words.

"Who your mother chooses to…have is none of our concern."

Freddie sighed, frustration having moved to exasperation.

"I just told you, he's a scheming, over ambitious peacock. She deserves better don't you think?"

Sofia tensed. Afraid of the odd direction the conversation had suddenly taken.

"Your mother deserves the sun, the moon, and the stars." Cedric answered. There was a quality to it she'd never heard before. "But if we care for her than we owe it to her to let her choose for herself. She's had enough of her decisions taken away."

"She's not interested in him anyway." The Prince sounded as though he were ready to drop the whole thing until…. "She's in love with someone else. She always has been, for as long as I can remember."

"How do you know that?" Cedric's voice rose shrilly till his last word was in a completely different register.

"Because I have two eyes."

Sofia sent a prayer of thanks to every god and goddess she knew when she heard Underhill's voice break into the horse wreck happening below.

"Your Highness, Mr. Cedric, dinner is served."

Without another word her son turned from the sorcerer and walked away, leaving Cedric gaping at his back. Her only solace was that he didn't look up before slowly following Freddie back into the house.

Dinner was as uncomfortable an affair as Sofia had ever sat to.

The Duke seemed eager to make pleasant conversation, but all she could feel when she looked at him was anger. It galled her to know he had no issue attempting to woo her while making her son's life so miserable.

Staring at his handsome, smiling face she became convinced she needed to remove Freddie from his care. If Alexander wanted more money, more lands and titles, more offices and influence he could find another way to get them.

To make matters worse, whenever he wasn't talking, the Duke seemed strangely fixated on Cedric.

Her sorcerer barely noticed though. Instead he sat wordlessly at her left, seeming completely lost in his thoughts and oblivious to the dictates of polite social behavior. Normally that wouldn't have bothered her. She'd meant it when she said she didn't look to him for that sort of pretense. But she couldn't help fearing his taciturn mood meant he now understood the extent of her feelings and was secretly planning his flight back to Enchancia at the first opportunity.

Finally the whole thing was over and she and Freddie walked the Duke to his coach.

The goodbyes were polite and short, but when he was gone Sofia found she couldn't calm down. Instead she floundered under the frustration she always felt when a day had been full of problems but ended without any of them being resolved.

"I'm tired," Freddie declared once the coach was out of sight. "I'm going to retire for the night."

"That's probably a good idea." She smiled down on her son and brushed a few strands of thick black hair out of his eyes affectionately.

Freddie's response was to swat her hand out of the way, but there was a smile on his face as he did it.

"You asked Mr. Cedric here to help me with my…problem, didn't you?" He said suddenly, surprising her.

Sofia took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. Her son wasn't quite a man yet, but she often found him more receptive if she treated him like an adult.

"I know you don't want to hear what to do or how to do it from your mother…."

"So you brought someone you thought I'd be more open to." Freddie seemed calm but Sofia was still cautious in her response.

"You have a tutor for everything else. I think it would be good to have one for magic as well and there's no one more gifted than Mr. Cedric."

They were through the entry way of the house then and he stopped and looked at her. It seemed as though he wanted to say something difficult.

"Thanks mom." Came out quietly before he turned and took off for his room, leaving her standing there astonished.

Sofia began to follow after when she saw a sliver of light peeking out from under the library door. Taking a steadying breath she turned towards it knowing she had best face him tonight….

 _Sofia had been waiting by the window for over an hour now, thankful her apartments faced southward so she could see the approach of the flying coach before she was summoned to the roof to meet its occupants._

 _She'd been using this time to rehearse what she would say to him. First and foremost, she owed Cedric an apology._

 _She'd tried to bare the whole of her heart in the letter she sent him._

 _She'd written it over and over but everything after "I'm sorry" just wouldn't come. How she felt for him, how hurt she'd been he couldn't return her feelings, none of it excused how she'd treated him, but he still deserved to hear it._

 _Instead all her attempts had ended up in the fire._

 _What she'd ended up sending was short, stiff, and formal. Praising his skills and begging his help, but offering no apology and certainly not presuming on the basis of their long friendship. Until she'd explained herself and been forgiven she didn't feel she had any right to play that card with him._

 _So she'd been practicing. Saying the words over and over again._

" _Cedric, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I acted like a child and took out my hurt on you. But none of this was ever your fault and I know that. Please forgive me and give me another chance to prove how much you mean to me. Because you're everything to me. You're my teacher, and my friend, and I love you. I always have."_

 _It still felt paltry._

 _And a part of her was very much afraid that after this long he wouldn't care no matter what she said._

 _He was coming because, despite the strife between them and despite his irascible exterior, he'd never abandoned anyone when they asked him for help._

 _Still she held out hope._

 _Thanks to her mother's regular and detailed letters she knew he'd been despondent since returning home from the wedding. It broke her heart and caused her no end of worry to hear he was eating poorly and sleeping little again, just as he'd done in her first years at the castle, before giving up his schemes for the throne and embracing their odd but deep friendship._

 _Her mother had noticed how bad things were between them in Freezenberg and asked Sofia in one of her first letters how they'd fallen out. Sofia had been thankful that the very nature of letter writing allowed her to ignore uncomfortable inquiries, but she'd begged her mother to try and help her sorcerer._

 _Knowing how dearly Sofia cared for the man Miranda had begun summoning Cedric down from his tower for tea several times a week. Apparently he was desperately uncomfortable in the Queen's presence but he sat and tried to make amiable conversation just the same._

 _Sofia had thanked her mother profusely for her efforts. Writing her a long list of Cedric's favorite teas and cookie flavors and finger sandwich preferences. Hoping they might tempt him to eat more. And though Miranda probably already suspected, Sofia assured her mother if Cedric was trying to be less taciturn it meant he was touched by her kindness._

 _Miranda took every opportunity, she wrote, to sprinkle the conversation with mentions of Sofia. And though he never directly asked, her mother felt sure he really did want to know. So Sofia thought there was reason to hope things could still be mended between them._

" _They've been spotted through the glass." Anna-Grete informed, peaking her head through the bedroom door._

 _Sofia turned back to the window and caught sight of the tiny speck. It was no bigger than the stars surrounding it but moved swiftly where the other lights remained still._

 _Taking a deep breath she stood from her seat and smoothed down the thick plum velvet of her dress._

 _Anna-Grete came forward then and straightened the black pearl tiara she wore on her head. Her demeanor was very proper, all stiff backed grace and demure clipped gestures, but her eyes were soft._

" _There, you're a vision." The older woman declared._

 _Sofia was beginning to realize that much like her sorcerer, her principle lady-in-waiting was much more than met the eye._

 _When she'd returned to her room after speaking with the King there had been no reprimand for her outburst, or the atrocious rudeness of throwing everyone out of her apartments. There hadn't even been a lecture about sneaking out of the castle or consorting with peasants._

 _Instead the duchess had helped her change out of her terribly inappropriate dress, hung it as though it were one of her exorbitantly expensive court gowns, and sat Sofia down to brush the tangles out of her hair with a gentle hand._

 _The next half hour had passed in complete silence, the both of them ignoring the other women who moved about turning down the bed, laying out her night clothes and tidying the room (though it was never really untidy). When they were alone again the older woman laid down the brush and helped her into her night clothes, staring at her the whole time._

" _I'm sorry if your highness has felt overwhelmed or alone." She offered, the sudden words abrupt to Sofia._

" _No," Sofia felt caught off guard and scrambled for words she hoped would appease her lady. "I'm very well taken care of and I know you and the other ladies put a great deal of effort into that. I've been remiss in not thanking you more often."_

 _Sofia hoped that would be the end of it, but the duchess shook her head slightly and looked down at her with eyes that were actually warm._

" _When I first became duchess I felt alone too. My husband was much older than me and our marriage was solely political. I did grow to like him…very much actually, but in the beginning I felt lost and alone and there was no one who really cared I felt that way. I had many years to ground myself though before there were children."_

 _Sofia had felt her gut twist at the mention of her possible pregnancy and it left her unable to make any answer._

" _I know you hate him. And I know you're scared. But I won't let you fail at this, I promise!"_

 _Now her lady stood before her waiting to escort her to meet her friends and Sofia was sure, even if she didn't say anything, she had long been feeling Sofia's apprehension._

 _Sofia wanted to admit why she was so scared, but she knew to do so would be a rash mistake no matter how much the duchess had seemed to warm to her in the last month or so. And she was fearful of ruining their tentative friendship because Sofia knew she was going to need all the comfort and strength a real friend could give in the coming year._

 _It had been four weeks since her collapse at Helgaburg and there could be no doubt now she was in fact pregnant. Perhaps only six weeks or slightly less along, but unless something happened in the next unpredictable six weeks she would be giving birth to a child just a scant two months before her twenty-first birthday._

" _Are you ready?" The duchess asked, sweeping her appearance one more time and giving her a last nod of approval._

" _Yes, I think so."_

 _With that the duchess turned and proceeded her out of her rooms and up the winding steps to the castles roof._

 _The coach had just touched the landing strip, guided by the lit lanterns on either side when they arrived. There was a great deal of ice on the roof, despite the many efforts of the castle staff to remove it, and Sofia felt a moment of real fear when one of the horses seemed to slip out. But the coachman was able to keep control and the carriage stopped just a few feet from the usual spot._

 _The doors opened a moment later and Cedric stepped out. He was bundled against the frigid temperature, looking cold and raw cheeked, and blowing breath into his cupped hands. But she could still see that he'd lost a great deal of weight and was paler than usual._

 _It didn't stop her heart from racing at the sight of him though._

 _She wanted to run to him, to throw her arms around him and kiss his cheeks warm. And despite the utter lack of decorum that would have shown she might have done it. Except when he looked down at her, squinting threw the darkness to find her face, she froze._

 _There was an ice in his eyes that rivaled the Freezenberger winter and Sofia felt all the fear and nervousness in her coalesce and become a hard lump in her stomach._

 _Bowing with a courtly flourish he spoke stiffly._

" _You're Highness, you commanded my presence."_

 _He may have been once, but he wasn't her sorcerer anymore._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I feel like a total fail not having another chapter of "Once Upon a Time" out, but I have to admit I'm struggling with that story. It's going to take a while longer unfortunately, but I have a new chapter of "The Villain's Guide" halfway done, so I should have that posted soon.**

 **My hubby is reading through this for me, giving me his helpful criticism, and he made me laugh out loud after this chapter. He asked why Carl is such a bastard and I told him what Carl's true motivations are and how I was saving that for a later chapter and he said 'oh good cause I thought he was just a dick for sport!' I promise, you won't like him any better, but we'll eventually find out what's motivating his dickery!**

6.

" _Sofia!"_

 _Behind Cedric were Sofia's friends the trolls._

 _They jumped down from the coach, slipping and sliding as bare, green feet made contact with the ice. It bothered them not one bit and there was laughter as they each found their balance. Once they were all out they rushed to her and despite the hard lump of misery sitting in her stomach, or maybe because of it, Sofia bent down to give them all extra long hugs._

" _Gnarly! Teeny! Chief Knuckles!" She picked out her three dearest friends from among the group to hug again. "I'm so glad all of you are here!"_

" _Oh Sofia we're so excited! We can't wait to decorate the new caves!" Teeny squealed while the other trolls added their enthusiastic agreement._

 _Standing back to her full height Sofia looked down at them hoping they would mistake her tears for watering at the stinging cold._

" _I can't thank you all enough for being here." She raised her eyes to the dark, silent figure still standing by the coach. "It means the world to me!"_

 _The trolls all exclaimed again, but Cedric remained dark and silent, staring at her with frigid eyes._

 _What she couldn't know was how deeply the sight of her affected him. How even the first glance of her from the coach, shivering against the bitter wind in nothing but a low necked gown, had re-fractured the still fragile foundation of him._

 _Standing back now, watching her with her friends, all happy smiles and pinked cheeks, he felt raw and gutted beyond anything the hellish temperature could induce._

 _He'd been preparing himself for days, packing his things, overseeing the loading of the supplies he'd need, and steadying himself so he could greet her with the same distant disdain she'd shown him all these months._

 _He'd told himself he was past the feeble pleading for forgiveness with which he'd debased himself the first weeks after she fled his workshop. Causing him to chase her down halls and corner her in odd rooms of the castle begging her to please understand and return to their friendship. Even as he'd been forced to finally acknowledge, if only to himself, what he felt for her was no longer friendly._

 _He was past the searing rage of betrayal which had nearly consumed him when he realized she wasn't going to forgive him. Oh she was a sly one, he'd seethed. Unlike everyone else, who belittled or discounted him, she'd made him believe she cared, that she thought he was truly special. And then she'd cast him off the very first time he refused to give her something she wanted._

 _In his blackest rage he'd been terrified by the violence of his own emotions. He wanted to bring her low! He'd wanted to make her feel even half the agony he was suffering. He'd wanted to rip her open, tear the black, forsaking heart from her beautiful breast and crush it before her eyes!_

 _The last thought had sickened him so utterly it finally sapped the anger from him. In its wake all he'd felt, for months now, had been grief. A relentless, hollow aching for her that had destroyed his appetite and left him unable to sleep._

 _He'd never,_ _ **ever**_ _been foolish enough to let himself hope she could feel for him what he felt for her. He was too far from her in age, in station, and especially in his nature. But he'd believed they would always remain friends. That she would think of him as a kindred spirit, even if she could never think of him as a woman did a man. In the end, even that had been a fool's delusion. And the only way to protect what was left of him was to close his heart to her._

 _And now he was even past the grief. He was past feeling for or even thinking of her!_

 _Except maybe he wasn't._

" _You don't care! You're done with her!" The voice in his head intoned, and Cedric tried very much to ignore the panicked edge it held. "You need to move on. You_ _ **have**_ _moved on!"_

" _Your Highness, we should get everyone inside." Duchess Dusselstein's voice caught all of their attentions._

" _Yes, you're right Your Grace." Sofia ushered everyone in, and they began walking down the long, opulent main corridor of the palace towards the banquet hall which she'd asked be set with tea and hot food for her guests._

" _King Henrik wants to greet you all and thank you personally for your help!" She said as two servants opened the large double doors to let them pass through._

 _A heavenly scent wafted out of the huge dining room and Sofia saw all the trestle tables had been hidden away as well as the platform that usually held the high table. Instead a single, large one had been placed in the center of the room sumptuously laid for their visitors. The king sat at the head, a wide smile on his face._

" _Friends!" He greeted, standing jovially, every inch the kind and friendly man she remembered from school plays and father daughter excursions in her girlhood._

 _It wasn't exactly a façade, as she found him almost always amiable, but Henrik was definitely putting his best foot forward. Freezenberg's king was far happier hunting and playing with his noble friends than ruling. Attempting to engage him on anything harder or more complex seemed to easily irritate him._

 _When she and Carl had brought him the plan to make Freezeberg self-sustaining he'd initially been rather blank, smiling and condescending to her about how it was nice she wanted to help out, but she should really leave that to the men he'd put in charge of running the country._

 _When she'd persisted, listing out the many obvious benefits of such a scheme and how it could be accomplished for very little, he'd first tried to pat her on the head and send her off to play, thinking he could tempt her with a visit to the jewel room or the promise of money for new dresses. Then he'd become agitated. It wasn't her place to question how_ _ **his**_ _country was run._

 _It had taken all of Sofia's courage and people skills to swallow down the reprimand and politely continue on. In the end she suspected the King relented only out of fear that, like his youngest daughter, she wouldn't stop hounding him until he gave her what she wanted._

" _Please come and warm yourself!" The King offered now, smiling and gesturing to the table laden with tea, warm spirits, hardy soups and thick steaming loaves of bread._

 _The trolls quickly took places around the table and, even though he seemed reluctant to leave the shadows, even Cedric was swayed. Sofia told herself it was because of the potato soup. It was his favorite, and she'd made the chef supremely uncomfortable when, instead of just bringing the recipe to the kitchen, she'd insisted on making it herself!_

" _Sofia, child, do you have you any idea where Carl is? He said he'd be here, but…." Henrik shrugged his shoulders and spread his hands expansively in a way which suggested it was just beyond him to control the boy. Something he seemed to think amusing, but was in fact telling of why his children were the way they were._

" _No Your Majesty, I thought he was going to be here as well." She answered, trying not to reveal how deeply frustrating she found both the man in front of her and the one he'd sired._

" _I'll go look for him." Anna-Grete offered._

" _No, stay and warm yourself, you look half frozen." Sofia answered smiling at her friend before dashing for the doors. Much as she disdained the idea of voluntarily seeking him out, it was probably the better part of valor to take a few moments and remind Carl to keep his manners._

 _She reached his apartments quickly but found them dim and empty, the fire in his sitting room all but dead. Knowing he was always surrounded by his entourage of loud, unruly young noblemen she decided to try her luck in some of his other haunts._

 _Just as she was closing the door a sound like a gasp rung out from his bedroom._

" _Carl?" She called out._

 _No one answered, but there was another noise, this time a grunt, and Sofia rushed forward thinking he might have fallen and hurt himself. Later she would realize how naïve that was, but in the moment her dislike of him receded before her general desire for the wellbeing of all those around her._

" _CARL!" A woman cried out as Sofia burst through the double doors._

 _She found her husband on the rug by the fire, but he hadn't fallen, at least not by accident. He was naked, sweaty, and grunting with effort as he thrust into the equally naked form below him._

 _The woman screamed now and hid her head in Carl's chest as Sofia stood in the doorway gaping at them._

 _Her prince, on the other hand, seemed irritated, but otherwise indifferent at being discovered with a lover and continued to move inside his partner._

" _I'm busy, what do you want?" He bit out._

" _You're supposed to be in the banquet hall, greeting the party from Enchancia." She replied, her voice a dull monotone._

" _Fuck I forgot." Her husband grumbled, his irritation peeking into peevish anger._

 _Vaulting up, he sauntered over to his bed, using the coverlet to dry his still erect member before throwing clothes on. Sofia hardly noticed. Her eyes were glued to the woman he'd left naked and shocked on the floor, struggling to sit up and cover herself at the same time._

 _The Countess of Ormandy!_

 _When she'd done what she could for her modesty, Elena looked up at Sofia. Emotions crossed the blond's face with morbid speed and she seemed to be trying each one on, not sure what was appropriate for this particular circumstance. Proud defiance was first, but that faded rather quickly to be followed by contrition and finally a kind of pleading helplessness._

" _Sofia…," she began, only to be cut off when Carl turned all his exasperation on her._

" _Shut up and get dressed will you!" He barked._

 _Elena flinched at his harshness and hung her head, long, luxuriant gold hair falling around her face. Sofia decided not to stay and see what she decided to do. Instead she turned on her heel and stalked out the door._

 _As she made her way back to the banquet hall Sofia tried to stifle the tears that threatened to break loose. It disturbed her to realize how little she was concerned with the fact her husband was unfaithful. It should matter, shouldn't it? And yet that wasn't what had her coming undone. It was the knowledge someone she considered her friend, her very first friend in Freezenberg, had betrayed her like this that had her reeling._

 _Was it just a onetime thing or was Elena his regular lover? Why had she been pretending all this time to care for Sofia? Was it simply her job to feign friendship? Were there others, more of her ladies who smiled to her face while bedding her husband behind her back? Were they all laughing at her, mocking her for being a witless, unsuspecting simpleton?_

" _Sofia, wait."_

 _It took everything inside her not to scream as Carl jogged up to her. He had opted not to dress fully, probably because he was incapable of tying his own cravat, and instead had gone for just a shirt, open at the throat, and a pair of knee pants and riding boots. With his hair mussed and his skin glowing from sex he looked wild and uncivilized, something she was sure would appeal to all the other women he encountered tonight._

 _Anna-Grete had said Sofia hated him, but up until this moment she'd shied away from examining the depths of her sentiments towards him. She wasn't used to feeling such strongly negative emotions about anyone, but she was ready to own it now. She hated him! She hated him so much she felt like she could easily lose herself in the seething disgust his mere presence elicited!_

" _I don't care and I don't want to talk about it!" She said, holding up her hand to keep him at arm's length._

" _I'm glad you're not going to make a scene, but there is something we need to discuss and now seems a good time, all things considered. Come, let's do it while we walk." He smiled smoothly and took her arm, forcing her to wrap it around his own as he set a leisurely gait. "It's good you're taking all this so calmly. Everything is so pristine in Enchancia I feared you'd react like a nagging prude if you knew._

 _But you understand this is just the way of things. I'm a man and a Prince, it's expected you know, a sign of masculinity. All royal men have mistresses. In my Grandfather's day it was an official position."_

 _They'd reached the banquet hall and the double doors opened to reveal the King, Duchess Dusselstein, the trolls, and even Cedric eating and enjoying conversation. It stopped when they arrived, and the rooms inhabitants turned to look at them. There was surprise on the face of the King and the duchess, and more kind smiles on the faces of the trolls. By contrast Cedric's had drained of what little color it had and he gaped at them with wide, unfathomable eyes._

 _At first Sofia didn't understand why, but then it dawned on her how they must look._

 _She was sure there was high color on her cheeks from her anger, and her hair and clothes had already been mussed by the cold wind on the roof. Carl was… obviously underdressed, and he had pressed her so close to him they appeared to be almost cuddling!_

" _Now you on the other hand…," he began, bending low to whisper in her ear, as though he were filling it with sweet nothings, "you are my crown princess. And as such the entirety of your position here depends on your providing me with uncontestable heirs. Which means you had better stay stainlessly virtuous._

 _You can turn those big, sparkling blue eyes on however many young, handsome men as you like. Or, since I think I already know where your heart is settled, feel free to glut them on that dark, crooked old shadow at the table._

 _Lust for him. Dream of him. You have a particularly expansive imagination, maybe you can even fantasize a scenario where he could summon the manhood to satisfy you!" Carl laughed in her ear, showing how probable he considered such a possibility. "But touch a single hair on that two tone head and I'll have it severed from his neck while you watch."_

 _With that he planted a soft kiss on the shell of her ear and walked over to greet their guests warmly._

 _Under the table Cedric twisted at the fabric of his robes, trying to bear up against the pain of watching Sofia and her husband behave so intimately._

 _He shouldn't have come! He should have told her to go to hell, or sent her letter back unopened. Yes, even she would probably have understood she deserved that. But like the true glutton for punishment he was Cedric had dropped everything at her distant, impersonal summons and so he supposed he deserved this. It would be a lesson in not ignoring his better judgement._

 _Yet even in his suffering he found himself confounded. Had Sofia grown to care for her prince as Rolland believed she would?_

 _Cedric hadn't thought it possible._

 _Sofia had declared so often, during the months Carl pursued her, that she could never like him. And though she was very young, Cedric had never doubted her. Sofia had about her a kind of odd maturity that had nothing to do with age. Though she tried to love everyone, she never did so blindly. She loved her sister while fully understanding Amber was a fickle, selfish, brat. She loved James and accepted the fact he was an easily swayed dimwit. She loved him, or at least Cedric thought she had, knowing full well he was an egotistical, maladjusted, curmudgeon._

 _Perhaps spending more time with Carl had allowed her find love for him too, even though the Prince was a spoiled, arrogant, asshole!_

 _The part of him that wasn't small and petty and wounded, the part that had grown larger under the light of her goodness, admitted to hoping she had. If only because it would make her life here easier, her future better. And after all, hadn't that been a large part of his decision not to help her run away? The decision for which he'd lost the only read friend he'd ever had._

 _And yet to watch it…even he didn't hate himself that much._

 _Sofia and her prince finally pulled apart and took seats at the table. He at his father's right and she, surprisingly, on the opposite side next to Chief Knuckles. Conversation resumed and eventually turned to their plans for the mountain._

 _In all they would be here for two weeks, forming and fortifying the cave system first. Creating and mounting the cave crystals. Moving the soil and giving it time to defrost. Creating an entire city of living spaces and communal areas for the hundred or so families who would be farming Freezenberg's new food supply. And finally planting the first of the crops, using Cedric's own grow fast spell to make the initial harvest happen in a matter of days rather than months._

 _And when it was over, the King was going to create a new national holiday filled with feasting and celebration, in honor of him… and the trolls._

 _Despite the turmoil within, Cedric couldn't ignore the fact that if he pulled off his part he would finally have the acclaim and respect he'd always longed for. And yet he had no idea why Sofia had asked him to help at all._

 _Though she'd never gone for a formal trial before the masters she had been his student for many years, a gifted and eager apprentice who'd soaked up his knowledge and far exceeded his expectations. The task before them was daunting but he was quite confident she was a gifted enough sorceress to pull off the magic by herself._

 _A small, hopeful voice whispered this must mean she wanted to reconcile after all, but he squelched it. For some reason she wanted a sorcerer and, at the moment, Freezenberg had none._ _ **That**_ _was why he was here. Her letter had said as much. To hope for anything beyond that would only open him to the chance for greater injury._

 _In the end, the party had broken up and servants had been called to guide him and the trolls to their temporary quarters. The king admonished them to enjoy the luxuries and warmth of the palace as much as possible because once they traveled to Skjolder it would be a cold, rough two weeks under a sun which was rising later and setting earlier every day._

.o~O*O~o.

" _You're doing it wrong!" Cedric snapped at her for the tenth time._

" _I'm doing it exactly the way the spell book says!" Sofia snapped back._

 _This had been a mistake. There was no denying it now._

 _She'd hoped working together might help them find their way back to each other. Instead it was making everything worse. They'd been at Skjolder for five days and around day three Cedric's cold indifference had melted away._

 _Except what lay underneath wasn't the forgiveness Sofia had hoped for. Underneath, much like the molten pool which heated the newly made caves, was a scorching, seething reservoir of anger._

 _Cedric's coldness had been almost unbearable, but Sofia had born it. She felt she'd deserved every disdainful look and dismissive turn of his back, every frosty word or pointed silence. If she was going to say she was sorry, perhaps she_ _ **should**_ _know how deeply painful it was to be treated this way._

 _But his rage was something else._

" _Why are you even doing it at all?" He snatched the book away, throwing it on the cart which held the buckets of diamond dust they were making into cave crystals._

 _They had already made the ones that would shine all the time in the common areas of the caves. Those were the simplest. Cedric had also made ones which would light when a simple command was spoken, for the houses of the new farmers. And Sofia had offered to make the ones they would mount over the crops, shining for half the day and going dark for the other half._

 _She really hadn't needed too. Or she could have done it in another area of the work space, but she'd wanted to be near him. She'd wanted to try to talk to him again._

" _I just wanted to help." She answered, backing away from his seething._

" _I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" He screamed, advancing on her, obliterating the small amount of breathing room she'd made between them. "You summoned a sorcerer to make your caves and your crystals. If you wanted to do it yourself why am I here? If you want me to do it then just go back to your palace and play princess and leave the grown-ups to their jobs!"_

 _They just stared at each other for a long moment both shocked by Cedric's venom._

 _Normally Sofia would have backed down. She hated arguing, especially with him. But she was cold, and nauseated, and more tired than she could ever remember being, and worse than that she felt guilty and wounded all in one awful, confusing jumble._

" _I'm not playing at anything! I_ _ **AM**_ _a princess! And all this is_ _ **MY**_ _idea! I have every right to be here!" She bit back, her voice rising with each word._

 _Deep down she'd always supposed Cedric would forgive her. Maybe he would make her grovel a little. Maybe he would make her stew a bit first before bestowing his absolution. But eventually he would forgive her and they would move on, because she was Sofia and he was Cedric and she was his only friend, so how could he not forgive her? Instead her worst fears had been made reality. It didn't matter what she did, or said, he didn't want her apologies or her friendship any longer._

" _Fine! Supervise all you want, your worshipfulness." He bowed low in exaggerated mockery. "Go pester the trolls about how their mounting the crystals, or bother the workman about how their laying the soil, but leave me alone! I don't need or want you around! I never did! You've never been anything but a thorn in my side and I'm well and truly glad it's finally been plucked out!"_

 _Even as he said it, Cedric knew he'd crossed a line from which there could never be any returning._

 _He watched as she flinched back, like she'd been slapped literally as well as figuratively, and then she fled from him._

" _Sofia, wait! I didn't mean it!" He called into the empty, echoing space._

 _How could he have said that?_

 _He knew she'd wanted to talk. Sofia had been throwing herself in his path every opportunity she could since they got here. But he hadn't let her. Why? Why had the knowledge she finally wanted to mend their friendship only brought back all the anger, all the vitriol? He wanted her friendship back, didn't he? Wasn't that what he'd pleaded and pined for these last six months?_

 _The rage in him whispered it was because she couldn't have it all her fucking way!_

 _She couldn't throw him off when she pleased and then just have him back when that suited her better. And maybe his rage was right, but the better part of him was whispering too. Telling him if he really did love her, if he really did want her back, eventually one of them would have to be the bigger person, or things would just go on like this forever! Or worse, it would all stop and she would refuse to ever see him again!_

 _Suddenly his feet were moving._

 _He would find her and apologize. He would hear whatever she had to say and then he would forgive her. And as much as it was possible he would make things just as they had been before. He'd never known anyone as forgiving, as grand hearted as Sofia. Surely it wasn't beyond her to forgive his outburst, not when he was willing to forgive her long silence!_

 _Cedric searched for her everywhere, combing each of the caverns only to come up empty handed. Finally, he realized there was nowhere else she could be but outside. He hoped desperately that didn't mean she'd taken his angry advice and fled back to Freezenberg City._

 _Squinting against the waning sun, after hours of nothing but cave crystals for light, Cedric saw her. She was standing in front of a coach, but it wasn't taking her back to the capitol. It was bringing her husband._

" _Sorcerer!" The man summoned with one arrogantly lilted word and an imperiously crooked finger. "Why is my wife crying?"_

 _Cedric looked at Sofia to see her eyes were red rimmed and swollen, her face streaked with tears, and her shoulders shaking, even as she looked up at her husband with an expression of complete mortification._

" _Your Highness I…." He should have answered truthfully. Should have told the puffed up pup everything, but Sofia interrupted._

" _It's nothing Carl. I'm just tired and…emotional." She said the last word pointedly and he responded with a sage nod._

" _Ah yes, I suppose that's to be expected." The odious shit actually chuckled. "I haven't had your congratulations yet Sorcerer." The prince went on as though Cedric should know what he was talking about._

" _My congratulations?"_

 _The younger man only laughed again._

" _Indeed, it's not common knowledge yet, but I thought you and Sofia being so close, she would have told you already."_

" _Told me?" Cedric was beginning to feel like a parrot._

" _Carl!" Sofia, put her hand on her husband's arm, trying to shush him to no avail._

" _Freezenberg is to have a young prince in the new year!"_

 _Cedric would have said the world stopped at those words, that everything froze in that instant, but later he would only wish it had._

" _I find I should congratulate you as well, master sorcerer."_

 _From his pocket the prince produced an already opened letter on letterhead Cedric knew well. It was from Queen Miranda and had Sofia's name written plainly on the front, though that obviously hadn't deterred him in the slightest._

" _Sofia did you know?" Carl turned to his wife now, a look that seemed less curious than somehow… cruel._

" _Know what?"_

 _He waved the opened letter in her face._

" _Well isn't this lovely, it seems I'm the bringer of good news today! Your friend here," he used the paper to gesture to Cedric, "is to be married."_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Prof-shader blackmailed me into this chapter! She said she wouldn't post another chapter of her Ah-Mazing fic "Professor Ceedric", which I'm obsessed with (!), if I didn't post the next chapter of Free.**

7.

Sofia found him sitting by the fire with a large book open in his lap. As she got closer she realized it was the treatise on representative government she'd been reading before she left for Enchancia.

"How on earth did you manage to get your hands on this? I thought Freezenberg had strict censorship laws."

"I know a woman who knows a man who knows a man who knows a man." She answered with a small smile on her lips. "Besides, it seems you can sneak just about anything in if you put it between stacks of fashion magazines.

"Of course, the only proper reading for a Princess." He sneered, his disgust for royalty and nobility, and the way they seemed to wallow in their own ignorance, apparent.

"Well, what good is a woman if she doesn't look pretty and know the latest scone recipes?"

He snorted, closing the book and replacing it on the small table next to the chair.

"Still you shouldn't leave it out for anyone to see."

Sofia raised her eyebrow at his over protective tone, but her smile remained as she took the chair opposite him.

"It's not out for just anyone to see, it's in my home, behind my doors, where anyone who comes is invited by me."

"Like the Duke?"

"Touché," she grumbled.

"Freddie is worried about him."

Before she could answer, Underhill appeared carrying a tray laden with tea things and a single letter. Her steward was ever efficient and discrete, having been trained and sent to her by Baileywick himself. Once the tea was served he bowed politely and made his way out, but before closing the doors he caught her eye and made a slight jerking motion with his head, indicating the letter.

When they were alone again Sofia picked it up, noticing it had arrived yesterday. Underhill must have been holding it all this time. Why?

"That's good, I'm worried about him too." Sofia broke the seal on the envelope with a fingernail.

"He seems to think the Duke is over stepping his bounds."

Unfurling the single sheaf of paper, Sofia read the few lines contained within.

"I would say so." She answered slowly, feeling a sick sort of vertigo as all the pieces fell into place.

How had Alex phrased it? He'd said they would make an _unconquerable_ match. He always was one for sprinkling his lies with seeds of truth.

"His purpose in coming today was to propose marriage."

Caught off guard, Cedric swallowed wrong and began choking. His attempts to put down his tea, while coughing and sputtering, only spilled hot liquid down his front.

Sofia put the letter aside and quickly rose. Setting the cup and saucer aside she grabbed a napkin, mopping up what had jumped out of his cup and onto his robe. She was still leaning over into his space when he regained his equilibrium.

"You won't consider it?" Her sorcerer's voice was horse but his eyes burned urgently.

Sofia put the napkin aside and settled back into her chair.

"I told you I was done with princes and marriage and all of that."

"He's a Duke." Cedric's deadpanned.

"Yes, that is true." She laughed lightly, attempting humor to try and lighten his mood. "So I guess I should have said I'm done with Princes, _and_ Dukes, and marriage and all of that."

Her levity did nothing to calm him.

"He seemed to think otherwise… _Sophie_." The emphasis Cedric put on that last word was decidedly sour.

Sofia's mood curdled with it and she slumped back into her chair, slouching gracelessly.

"Don't do that." She bit out.

"Do what?"

"Act like my disapproving father. If you want me to feel ashamed for not being a paragon of princessly virtue you're going to be sorely disappointed."

Cedric pinned her with offended eyes as he sat up straighter in his chair.

"I don't want anything of the sort. Merlin's mushrooms Sofia, you should know by now I don't carry around a set of pearls to clutch. I simply worry that if the man's good looks and charm got to you once he might convince you again. And I _would_ disapprove of you being with anyone who so flagrantly flaunts his conquests. No _real_ man would ever act so disrespectfully."

"I'm not as easily taken in anymore." She defended.

"Are you sure? Because I doubt he intends to let it go so easily."

She sat up now matching his straight backed demeanor.

"No I'm very sure he won't. This is the easy path. He'll try as hard as he can for as long as he can to achieve his ends this way."

"His ends?"

"Do you really think he wants me for me?

I might be reasonably easy to look at, but I'm certainly not the most beautiful woman at court." That got her the puzzling look again but she continued on without stopping to contemplate it. "And I'm not anywhere near willing. And for a handsome, powerful man suddenly free of a wife, life at court can be rather like a wine tasting. He could be sampling it all now and choosing what to take home in his own time.

He's not after love or companionship. What Alex wants is power. And with Carl dead he's in an enviable position. There's arguably no one more powerful except the king. And the king," Sofia picked up the discarded letter from the tea table and handed it to him, "may not live much longer."

Cedric scanned the lines as quickly as she had before replacing it on the tray with now shaking hands.

"Freezenberger law dictates the Crown Prince won't be of age until his twentieth birthday. If Henrik dies before that there'll be a power vacuum before the coffin lid is even sealed. The people will obey his will and look to me as Queen regent. But others, nobles mostly, will be unhappy with the mere notion of a female caring for the throne. Especially one who believes it isn't their birthright to rape the land and its people for their own gain. They'll turn to Alex as first peer in the land and he'll have to either raise an army and risk a civil war, or fold. And it's not in him to just slink away. It would eat at him all the rest of his days that he got so close only to turn tail and run.

So wouldn't it all be smoother and less bloody if he could simply eliminate any rivalry before it becomes an issue? If I married him than my power would be his power, the end."

Cedric's face had gone pale by the time she finished.

"Forgive me. I should know better by now than to underestimate you like that. I wasn't really, I just…let my emotions cloud my judgement."

Another time she might have allowed herself a few moments to enjoy those words. But right now there was a more urgent topic they needed to canvas.

"You were with Freddie for a long time this afternoon."

Cedric nodded, staying silent.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

Cedric took the teapot and refilled each of their cups.

"You are," he answered finally, his voice grave. "I didn't press him for anything truly difficult, but he's incredibly talented, and equally unstable. Has he had any tutoring outside of what the Fairies teach at Royal Prep?"

Sofia shook her head.

"Carl was strictly against it. Royalty do not dirty their hands with magic. It's only in the last six months I've been able to really show him anything. He's eager to learn, but not from me. And I think we can both agree he needs it."

Cedric raised an eyebrow at her.

"You're setting the chess board aren't you? And from that look I'm on it."

She nodded seeing no point in playing coy.

"You're my bishop, always!" She affirmed, smiling for just a moment before becoming serious again. "I wanted to be out of all this. I wanted to have peace and live quietly for once. I guess a part of me still wants to believe I can direct the course of my own life if only I try hard enough. But that would mean abandoning Freddie and Freezenberg to a man who cares for nothing and no one but himself.

I'm going to go to the King tomorrow and demand he disband Freddie's household. He should come and live with me. As the future Regent any duties Freddie and the Duke are handling should be mine anyway. That will take the pressure off Freddie and give him the opportunity to go back to Royal Prep where he belongs. It will also give you long enough to help him come into his abilities."

"You asked me here to help him _get control_. That's the task of a few weeks. Are you asking me to apprentice him now instead?"

"I am."

"If he goes back to Royal Prep surely the fairies can help him."

"Freddie needs someone with just the right touch. Someone who makes him feel safe and comfortable, but who's willing to stand up to him when it matters. He needs _you_ … and so do I."

For a fleeting instant Cedric's face went soft, the way it used to when she was a child and she gave him an unexpectedly thoughtful gift. But it was replaced, all too quickly, with a look of exasperation.

"Sofia I'm still Royal Sorcerer of Enchancia. I have duties at home that can't be put off indefinitely." He argued.

"Then retire. Once Rolland knows what I suspect he'll be duty bound to help anyway. And if Calista really gets into a spot you can always make a quick pop back."

"Where would I live?" He countered.

"Here, with me."

His eyes grew wide at that.

"That would be highly improper. If it really comes to this Sofia, you can't let any hint of scandal touch you. And old as I am if I lived here people would think...well they might assume…" he seemed unable to finish the sentence.

Something crestfallen and petulant goaded her to do it for him.

"…that you're my lover."

The word seemed to hang in the air as Cedric's normally pale cheeks went scarlet and his breathing picked up.

She had no idea why it should embarrass him to say the word after he'd just claimed to be unbothered by the knowledge she'd had a few. But finally she felt compelled to put him out of his misery.

"It wouldn't just be the two of us here. I'll be putting together my own court, of sorts, and you'd have an official position. Tutor to the Crown Prince and Advisor to the Dowager Crown Princess at first, and when the time comes you'd be Advisor to the Queen Regent and…Royal Sorcerer of Freezenberg.

After everything you've done for my people, the way they love you, they'll be less likely to fracture if they know you stand with me. Not to mention the mere threat of fighting the both of us may be exactly what convinces Alex to back down. I can cut him off at the knees before he ever tries to stand."

Cedric seemed to be contemplating her assessment carefully, and Sofia could only watch with a queasy stomach as a look of utter consternation blossomed on his face. Of course he understood the enormity of what she was suggesting. Not just the complete uprooting of his life, but the danger she was asking him to put it in. It could all come to nothing though. A show of strength might be enough to stop things in their tracks, then again….

"He hasn't done anything yet. Even his wife's death was ruled a suicide. But… Cedric, he's plotting. If I don't take the offensive now, get Freddie out from under his control and make a show of strength, he'll take my son and everything else I've given my life for!"

Cedric remained silent for a while longer, picking up his tea and drinking what was left of the lukewarm liquid in one gulp.

"Do I even have to say it? You already know what my answer is."

She just waited, needing to hear it.

"Poseidon's pumpkins girl, of course I'm staying! I wasn't weighing my options. I was hoping to punch a hole in your logic and I can't! While I'm not sure I agree my involvement will sway or deter anyone, my wand is _always_ yours!"

The sick feeling in Sofia's stomach finally subsided and she let out a breath she hardly knew she'd been holding.

"Thank you. Thank you so much!"

"Oh stop thanking me!" He snapped. From the contrite look that immediately took him it seemed he'd spoken far more harshly than he'd intended to. "We're friends Sofia. So much so that word hardly seems to fit us anymore. I'm not going anywhere until I know you and Freddie are safe. And even then we both know I'm not going very far."

Cedric threw his hands wide in aggravation, tea cup, saucer, and all.

"After all, how can I be sure you aren't getting yourself into more trouble if I let you out of my sight, hmm?"

"You wouldn't have to go anywhere if you didn't want to. You could stay here with me… forever."

She hadn't meant to say that. But his irascible devotion, and the knowledge he thought what was between them was too deep for the tepid word 'friend' seemed to compel it from her. And yet, not five minutes before he'd been scandalized because people might think her his bedmate? The odd ebb and flow of his emotions was beginning to make her slightly seasick.

"That's tempting," he said, slowly, "but you don't want to have an old man in your way." Cedric set down his cup and turned to stare into the fire.

"When have you ever been in my way?" She countered trying to find her footing as he ebbed once again.

Cedric sighed, and as he did that puzzling look made a reappearance.

"Your son informed me there's someone your keen on. I understand now is not the time for romance, but I assume eventually you'll want to do something about that. You'll hardly want the young man thinking you've a father type about to disapprove of him."

Sofia slumped back in her chair and tried to keep the shock off her face.

He couldn't really be that dense…could he?

"Do you think of yourself as my father type?" She ventured shakily, praying _that_ wasn't the word that fit better than friend.

Cedric sneered and made a sound low in his throat, something very much like a growl.

That look and the sound and the way he suddenly seemed about to lose control of himself transformed the tingle she'd been feeling all day into an ache that settled low and hot in her belly.

"Certainly not!" His voice began rising in volume with every word. "But that is surely what your young man will think."

"My young man?"

Cedric rose from his chair abruptly and looked down on her. He seemed a dark creature then, filled with rage and pain the likes of which she hadn't seen in years. And there was something else…his pupils were black pin pricks, his breathing coming heavy again, his hands clawing, looking as though he very much wanted to wrap them around something and squeeze.

And abruptly the nature of that puzzling look became clear: jealousy!

"Yes your _young man_." He spat. "He can't be a prince or a duke, we've covered that! I suppose it matters very little who he is. Some tall, handsome, strappingly virile stripling whose perfection makes your whole being tremble. This one better be good enough for you Sofia!" Her sorcerer's voice was like a knife cutting through the quiet now. "He had better deserve you! Otherwise how can I bear…?" Cedric clamped his mouth shut, something very much like devastation washing over his features.

Then he was gone, leaving Sofia reeling.

He was jealous!

How could that be?

How could he be when he didn't love her? How could that be when he'd spent nearly all Sofia's years in Freezenberg pining for….

 _The morning before Wassalia found her in front of the fire in her bedroom, wrapped in a long velvet dressing gown, with as many blankets as she could find piled on her lap, re-reading her mother's letter. It wasn't very long, since Sofia had only asked her to canvas a single topic: Cedric's marriage._

" _Though we were all shocked by the suddenness of the news, your father is very impressed with your mentor's choice." Her mother wrote._

 _Grudgingly Sofia couldn't help but agree._

 _She didn't know what she'd expected those months ago, when Carl had sprung the news on her, but she supposed she thought this person had come out of the blue. She'd imagined a stranger swooping in during her absence to fill the hateful void she'd created with her own two destructive hands._

 _She wasn't._

 _Sofia knew her. Lucilla Brynn, a Sorceress of no small repute, from a well-respected magical family. She was Graylock of Rudistan's cousin. But instead of becoming a Royal Sorcerer, as many in their family were, she had chosen to become a healer and was renowned as a pioneer in the field of medicinal magic._

 _Sofia had first met her five years ago when, on a trip to the charmacy, Cedric's attention had been caught by her medicinal spellbook. He'd harbored an interest in healing for many years and dabbled in making potions that could heal burns, mend bones, and cure common ailments._

 _Though his talent for such things had been largely ignored until James was badly injured during a jousting tournament. Her brother's arm had been broken in two places and his hand crushed. The Royal doctor had set the bones but wasn't optimistic about James' chances of ever holding a sword again._

 _Sofia had suggested they let Cedric have a look at it. Her father had been reluctant initially, but eventually gave in, muttering about how the sorcerer couldn't possibly make it worse. Her mentor had healed James completely, just as she knew he would. And the king had been so amazed he'd given his permission for Cedric to pursue this new 'hobby'. But, in Enchancia at least, it was still considered odd for a sorcerer to practice medicine._

 _After devouring the behemoth of a tome in a single day, and declaring Master Brynn 'not a charlatan', Cedric had been so excited he'd overcome both his natural dislike of others and his self- consciousness and written to her._

 _Over the course of the next few months they began a correspondence, trading spells and potions, talking over ailments and theorizing cures, testing their own hypotheses in a sort of collegial competition. Sofia had been overjoyed to see him make a new friend and was a bit star struck herself by such an accomplished, magical woman._

 _A year after his initial letter, Master Brynn wrote inviting Cedric to Omenvayle, the magical university where she was a professor. Sofia had leveraged her 'position' as Cedric's apprentice into permission to tag along._

 _Sofia remembered being in awe of the tall, willowy woman with hair so black it was nearly blue and depthless violet eyes that shown with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. She also remembered being startled by how young Master Brynn was, only twenty-five._

 _The three of them had spent the day lost in books and potions and spells and even though she was just an apprentice, and not even an official one at that, Master Brynn had been nothing but kind. She seemed to admire Cedric all the more for having taken a young woman under his wing and included Sofia as though she were an equal._

 _On the way back home, Sofia had been unable to stop herself from going on and on about how, when she grew up, she wanted to be just like Master Lucy. Combining a talent for magic with a sincere will to help others …what greater purpose could there be in life?_

 _It made her gut twist painfully to remember Cedric's reaction to her enthusiasm. He'd smiled at her, a full smile with teeth, tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear and then let his fingers slide along her jaw, tipping her face up to his._

" _I have no doubt in my mind you will far exceed even the illustrious Master Brynn one day."_

 _Sofia had been left breathless by the physical contact and by the praise, two things which Cedric rarely bestowed. And for a short time she'd gotten her hopes up. Letting herself believe, as fifteen year olds will, that he must finally be noticing she was no longer a child._

 _Now she felt like the biggest of fools. All this time Cedric must have been falling for Lucy! He'd never noticed her at all. She was just a silly, awkward girl when compared to such a gifted, confident woman?_

 _Bitterness welled up, hot and sharp, and Sofia found herself ripping the letter to pieces and hurling it into the fire. But it only incensed her more to realize her snit changed nothing. Burning the words wouldn't make them false._

" _Your Highness, you're already up?" Anna-Grete's voice cut through the silence._

" _I couldn't sleep." Sofia smiled weakly._

" _Excited to be going home for the holiday?" The older woman asked, pulling Sofia's travel gown out of the wardrobe and giving the heavy velvet a light shake to make sure no lint clung to it._

 _Sofia nodded. "I miss my mother." It was the only thing she could say with sincerity. Throwing off the blankets she rose so Anna-Grete could help her wash and dress._

 _An hour later Anna-Grete was negotiating the strings of Sofia's corset._

 _She was midway through her pregnancy now and getting into it each day had become a torture of the highest order, even with the laces tied less tightly. Despite the mixed emotions she had about her pregnancy Sofia was looking forward to the time when she'd be so big the hated undergarment would have to be abandoned._

" _I think that's as good as it gets." The duchess laughed._

" _We could just forget the whole thing?" Sofia's hope died before the words were even out._

" _It's not fitting for a princess to go around without proper undergarments. You can't give up the corset until you're willing to give up going out!"_

" _Yes Ma'am," Sofia grumbled._

 _Anna-Grete startled Sofia when she not only laughed kindly but reached over and laid an affectionate, motherly kiss on the princess's cheek._

" _I promise you'll be begging to get back into this it when you're so big you can't see your feet anymore!"_

 _Sofia just looked at her friend happily astonished._

 _The warm feeling ended up being fleeting though, as her other women began filing into the room to make her bed, lay out her breakfast, and finish helping her dress. Countess Ormandy picked up Sofia's garnet colored travel gown and brought it over. Sofia accepted her help in dressing but turned away without a word of acknowledgement._

 _The princess's single attempt to dismiss her had ended in a screaming match with her husband that only ceased when Duchess Dusselstein, fearing for Sofia's wellbeing, had physically gotten between them. So the Countess stayed, and the two women circled each other uncomfortably, forced together by the man they were both oddly bound to._

" _Would you like the red hat, Your Highness?" The Countess asked meekly._

 _Sofia felt herself bristle. She had no intention of being maneuvered by this woman anymore, even if it was about something as paltry as giving a one word answer when she didn't want to speak at all! So instead of giving the countess any notice, Sofia walked over to the collection of hat boxes that had been pulled out and picked a green velvet tricorn with ostrich feathers dyed red, green, and gold._

 _Countess Ormandy made to follow her, but Anna-Grete put a hand on the younger woman's shoulder._

" _Go with the luggage and make sure it gets loaded properly."_

 _Elena nodded, bobbing a curtsey to Sofia before fleeing the room._

 _A hat pin later, Sofia gave the Duchess a tight, grateful hug and wished her a happy Wassalia. Then she was out the doors with two of her lesser ladies in tow, making her way to the roof. Carl was already in the coach with two of his noble hangers on. Sofia's ladies helped her in and they all took the bench opposite the men._

 _The ride was lively, despite the fact the Prince and Princess barely spoke to each other, and Enchancia Castle was insight long before Sofia expected._

 _She peaked out the window and whatever lightness her mood had managed to attain drained away. Her mother was there on the steps along with her father, James, Vivian, and Baileywick. They were all welcome faces, beloved and familiar and longed for. Even King Rolland's presence made he feel warm and happy. He was just so inextricably linked with her images of home she couldn't help it._

 _Their relationship had also suffered in the wake of her betrothal, but Sofia felt the now familiar pangs of guilt when she realized she'd treated the orchestrator of her sale far better than the man who'd been her very best friend. But she had no time to wallow in the thought, because the man who'd been her best friend was standing there too… beside his fiancé._

 _The coach began its swift descent and Sofia felt her stomach drop, only partially from the loss of altitude._

 _Carl's gentleman descended the coach first, followed by her ladies. Then Carl went out and made a gallant show of helping his 'beloved' wife, all so her family might see how he doted upon her in her delicate condition._

 _Sofia wondered idly who he thought he was fooling?_

 _But then it didn't matter because her mother was hugging her! Sofia felt as though she were safe and whole, finally in the arms of the one person who could always make everything better! She wanted to stay in her mother's embrace forever, but after a long moment she allowed herself to be detached and helped up the slippery steps to greet her father, James and Vivian, and Baileywick._

 _Each hug was genuine and wholehearted, but knowing who stood at the end of the line made it impossible to concentrate on anything but their eventual coming face to face._

 _Finally, Sofia couldn't realistically keep clinging to Baileywick. So she took a single, deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut as she mustered her courage, and detached herself from the dear old man._

" _Your Highness," Cedric's voice was…Sofia couldn't place it._

 _It wasn't angry or awkward or resentful or even cold really. It just was. And somehow that made her heart hurt all the more, because Cedric's voice was never emotionless. He was a man of deep feeling and along with his expressive face his voice, with its vast range of pitches and depths, had always conveyed his inner state with startling clarity._

" _Mr. Cedric," she answered back, bobbing a stiff curtsey._

 _Cedric knew there wouldn't be any hug for him. Not after the way they'd parted after Skjolder._

 _Carl left not long after delivering Sofia's letter and for the rest of Cedric's stay there had been no more hostilities. But neither of them seemed able to find the courage to talk beyond what was necessary to accomplish their task. Once they'd returned to the palace she'd gone back to avoiding him and he knew he had no right to be angry about it. He'd told her he'd never wanted her around, that their whole friendship had been a lie. Why would she keep seeking him out?_

 _For his part he seemed unable to look at her without imagining her beautiful, horrible husband on top of her. For reasons not even he fully understood, knowing she was carrying the prince's child made Cedric feel as though was losing her all over again._

 _Still, he held out hope she would eventually realize his angry words had been the lie, a cowardly, wretched one spoken in rage. She didn't seem to be angry at him anymore, and she was coming to his… to tomorrow night's ceremony. Maybe with time…._

 _Fingers curled around his arm and he turned, almost surprised to find Lucy next to him._

" _Princess Sofia!" His betrothed sounded so happy to see the younger woman, when really he couldn't imagine the bitterness facing Sofia must be causing her._

 _He found her rising still father in his estimation._

 _Other women would have handled it differently, taken the low road. But Lucilla was cut from a different cloth._

 _He'd committed what should have been an unforgivable blunder, only nights before. Worse than what he'd blurted out while they were being… intimate, was its obvious implication. But she'd been astoundingly understanding about that as well. She was still going forward with all of this after all. And it seemed she was determined not to treat Sofia badly because he was already a failure as a husband._

 _She was too good a woman for him as he had told her many times._

 _They'd been friends, of sorts, for half a decade. Though it had taken Cedric a great deal of time to feel comfortable calling her that. And not long after he'd accepted they were friends, she'd begun pursuing him._

 _At first Cedric hadn't even noticed._

 _He was so caught up in his work, in his many solitary pursuits, and in Sofia, it took his mother pointing it out for him to realize the magical healer was interested in him beyond his ability to transmute cave moss and emerald dust into an anesthetic that didn't leave the user groggy when the effects wore off. Or make a paste out of toadstool stems and griffin saliva that both cleaned and sealed a wound better and faster than traditional medicaments._

 _But despite his parents getting their hopes up, he'd tried his best to make it clear to everyone he wasn't interested._

 _If such a woman had come along even a year earlier he would have jumped on her with vulgar eagerness. Probably making his brief crush on Sasha the Sorceress look positively restrained by comparison._

 _But by the time he met Lucy there was no room in his world, or his heart, for anyone but Sofia._

 _He knew he couldn't have his princess, and yet he couldn't bring himself to consider another. He'd tried the thought on a few times. Usually after his father finished what had become an increasingly frequent refrain of nagging and bullying about Cedric's lack of an heir._

 _He might not have youth and good looks on his side, but that wasn't always so important. There were many men of his acquaintance, Graylock for instance, who were just as lacking in physical charms and had still managed to find wives and sire children._

 _Why was he condemning himself to a life of pining for the one person he could never have?_

 _But then she would pop her head in his door, her sunny smile and infectious happiness filling the room, and he would be unable to imagine loving any other face as much, or anticipating another person's presence as eagerly as he had come to anticipate hers. So he'd put it out of his mind… until the maelstrom of dark emotions that followed Sofia's betrothal._

 _And now here they were._

" _Master Lucy, please accept my most sincere congratulations." Sofia said the words automatically, but felt proud for even getting them past her lips. "I'm sorry I couldn't give them earlier, but I'm honored you've invited me to be a part of such a special occasion."_

 _Master Brynn was talking again but Sofia didn't hear any of it. She just nodded in the places that felt appropriate and tried to hide her relief when the conversation came to a conclusion._

" _Well, let's get inside where it's warm and eat something shall we?" Her father's loud, confident voice filled the air._

 _Sofia followed Cedric and Master Brynn, his fiancé Sofia amended, into the castle. But once inside she touched her father's arm._

" _I'm not very hungry." She said. "If it's alright I think I would prefer to rest."_

 _It was amazing what a pregnant woman could get away with. Excusing oneself form social obligations, even just lunch with extended family, was never looked on well when you were royalty. But her burgeoning belly was practically a passport to being happily and readily excused from any number of expectations._

" _Of course Sofia!" Her father said in an emphatic tone._

 _Sofia felt almost bad about the look of anxiety that crossed his face. It made her feel like she was preying on the fear he must have of pregnancy in general, never being able to forget his first wife had been taken from him by it. It was the reason why he and her mother had never had a child of their own. Having heirs already, Rolland wouldn't even ponder risking Miranda's life that way._

" _I'll go with you Sofia." Her mother offered, putting her arm around her daughter's shoulders and steering her down the hall to her old room._

 _When they were behind locked doors Miranda looked down on Sofia with worried eyes._

" _Oh mom!" Sofia couldn't hold it in any longer and began to sob._

 _Miranda pulled her into a real embrace and let her daughter cling to her and weep until there was nothing left. Guiding Sofia over to the bed, her mother laid her down, unpinning her hat and pulling off her boots, before sitting beside her._

" _Sofia," her mother began, her voice serious but loving all at the same time, "you have to let him go."_

 _The princess only smiled, if wanly. She knew her mother was the one person from whom she could never hide. So why had she thought keeping silent about her true feelings for Cedric would keep her mother from knowing them?_

" _He was never mine to hold." Sofia hiccupped, wiping her tears with the backs of her expensive suede gloves._

 _Her mother clucked, brushing her hands aside and gently wiping the salty wetness away with her own fingers._

" _Perhaps not. But you still are, even if only in your own heart."_

 _Sofia took in a breath preparing to argue, but nothing came out. Her mother was right. Her mother was always right._

 _Miranda looked at her daughter and where others would have given Sofia pity or sympathy, her mother gave her strength._

" _Have you ever even said the words aloud?"_

 _Sofia was confused about why that should matter, but answered anyway, trusting implicitly that Miranda wouldn't ask unless it served a purpose._

" _Only to myself."_

 _Her mother nodded, every inch the sage older woman, battletested and war warn, standing on the other end of life with a wealth of hard won experience._

" _Say it to me now." She urged._

 _Sofia took a shaky breath._

" _I love him," her voice was barely a whisper, "I always have." Sofia felt the tears coming again. "Oh mom, I don't want him to marry her! I know that's selfish and unfair, but I can't bear it!"_

 _Miranda stroked her daughter's beautiful curls, just the color Birk's had been._

" _I'm so sorry Sofia. But you have to face the truth. Even_ _ **if**_ _he did love you, you would never have been allowed to be together."_

 _Sofia's voice hitched on a gutted little sound of sorrow, but she nodded. Deep down she'd always known that._

" _So you've finally confessed it. Now you have to accept it, and let it go."_

" _I can't!" Sofia shook her head._

" _You have too." Her mother's voice was firm._

 _Coming from anyone else Sofia would have thought those words a cold, dismissive gesture of impatience. But Sofia understood Miranda wasn't trivializing her heartache or tetchily wishing she would face reality. She was commiserating with Sofia in a way she had never been able to before, sharing her hardest earned piece of wisdom. Because Sofia didn't know a single other person who had ever had to accept what couldn't be changed or let go of what couldn't be had back the way her mother had._

" _What do I do?"_

" _You go tomorrow night, and stand with for your friend…."_

 _Sofia opened her mouth to remind her mother she and Cedric weren't even friends anymore, but Miranda put a finger over her lips._

" _I know the two of you never talked, but deeds speak louder than words Sofia. Nothing will tell him better how much you want to make amends. Go and stand up for your friend and wish him well and mean it._

 _And then go home._

 _Go back home and find something,_ _ **anything**_ _, that gives your life meaning._

 _Believe me Sofia, when it's returned, love is wonderful. It's amazing and cataclysmic. But it can all be taken away in the blink of an eye. You can't build your life on its foundation. Because one day a storm_ _ **will**_ _come. And if all you have is love, you could easily find yourself nothing more than driftwood on the tide."_

 _Her mother kissed her softly on the forehead and rose. "You need to rest."_

 _.o~O*O~o._

 _A Wassalia night wedding. Sofia didn't think there could be anything more perfect._

 _The clearing was lit by candlelight. Every person held one in a gloved hand as they formed a wide circle. Then as she watched Cedric and Lucy step into the center, snow begin to fall._

 _She was standing between Goodwin and Winifred. They had insisted, as though she were a part of the family. Sofia had been deeply touched. She'd hugged Cedric's mother with a fierceness she would have been embarrassed of, had not the older woman hugged her back with equal intensity. Sofia thought she saw something in Mrs. Winifred's eyes as they'd pulled apart, but words couldn't make anything different, so why say them?_

 _Instead she gave a small, pallid smile to Graylock who was standing on the other side of the circle. He raised his candle in a cheeky salute and then Wu Chang, who was performing the ceremony, began speaking._

 _This was the way sorcerers joined. No pomp, no grand displays of wealth or power or status. Just vows spoken before the people you loved, under the eyes of mother earth and father sky and their children the stars._

 _When he finished his few words the ancient sorcerer took one of Cedric's hands and one of Lucy's and joined them between his own._

 _Then it was the bride and grooms' turn. They spoke the ancient words of the ceremony in unison._

" _I come to you with a heart that's true,_

 _Truly given and evermore pledged to you._

 _I come to you with a soul that's free,_

 _Freely forsaking any other love that might be._

 _I come to you with a mind that's steady,_

 _To face the trials of life by your side I am ever ready._

 _I come to you with a body that burns,_

 _Desiring only for you, no matter how many times the seasons may turn."_

 _They both turned now, Cedric to his mother and Lucy to hers. Winifred produced an unlit candle and handed it to her son. He tipped it so its wick caught from the flame his mother grasped and then he began to turn back._

 _As he did, Cedric's eyes caught hers. And for a single moment it was like everything else fell away._

 _His eyes were so…open. Sofia thought she could see down to the very bottom of him. But even so she wasn't sure what lay there. It wasn't anger and it wasn't bitterness. Those seemed to have abandoned him. Instead it was warm and heartrending and stole the very breath from her body._

 _Later she would choose to believe that look had been forgiveness._

 _Because it could never be anything else, not when he turned away and the dark, snow covered world came back into sharp relief. Not when she watched him walk back to his intended and tip his candle into hers._

 _Making her, before the gods, before the elements, and before their families, his wife._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Word tells me that even after paring this chapter down for the last two days, it still clocks in at just over 6,900 words. I truly can't say anything without using 10 words when 4 would suffice!**

 **Melodrama ahead, everyone has 'the feels' super hard this chapter!**

8.

Sofia sat for a long time staring at the half open door Cedric had escaped through, remembering the past and reconsidering everything she'd believed about it.

Cedric had never told her what happened to end his marriage, and she'd never been able to bring herself to ask. But she'd lived for years now quietly certain her sorcerer's heart had been shattered by the wife who'd left him mere months after their wedding. And that he was, on some elemental level, still in love with her.

Despite this belief, Sofia suspected it would be almost comically simple to persuade Cedric to go to bed with her. Not because he was a fool, but because, even as a child, she'd held a rarified place in his life which allowed her to sway him to just about anything.

In all their years of friendship this power had only failed her on the day of her betrothal.

Yet after Freddie was born, and she'd finally grown up and rejected the lifetime of conditioning dictating a princess remain virtuous, faithful, and pure, she'd never attempted it.

Oh it was true, she'd fantasized often about taking Cedric for a lover, shamelessly aroused by visions of the depraved things she would do to him. But then morning would come and Sofia would remember the reality of such arrangements.

What started exciting and passionate always ended tedious and bitter. The joy of being in Cedric's bed would give way to the misery of having to return to Carl's. And while she'd never been possessive with others, she knew her love for him would give rise to an uncontainable jealousy, which would surely kill whatever affection he might otherwise grow to feel for her.

Then there was the looming threat of Carl.

She'd managed to keep her few affairs secret because she'd never let her desires cloud her judgement. But her husband already knew the truth of her feelings for her sorcerer and any inkling things had changed between them would have endangered Cedric's life. It was a threat so acutely terrifying she could never see past it.

Yet even if she'd overcome all those obstacles her most elemental truth remained.

Their rift all those years ago was still a knot of wounded tissue on her heart. A scar that would remain with Sofia forever, reminding her of his profound place in her life.

And over the years _all_ of her feelings for him had continued to grow. Their friendship was so deeply a part of her now, it felt necessary to her existence in the same way as the beating of her heart or the movement of her blood. That made it too precious to be gambled for a few stolen moments of carnal pleasure.

She would only venture what they already had to have the one thing even more precious, his love. Something she never could if he was, in his soul, still Lucy's.

And yet Cedric was jealous! He was _ragingly_ jealous of this imagined man he believed Sofia wanted. It was an emotion he couldn't possibly feel unless he had somehow, somewhere along the way, developed _some_ feelings for her.

But when?

How many times had she thought he was backing away because he didn't have the heart to crush her, when really he'd been pulling away because he thought she was about to crush him? Were his feelings new or had they wasted years misunderstanding each other?

And even though he'd meant well, Freddie had gone and put one more misunderstanding between them.

Rising from her chair, Sofia moved with purpose, flying through the long, shadowed corridors on memory alone. She was so bent on getting to her sorcerer she nearly knocked down the figure meandering through the darkened halls.

"Freddie," she gasped, "I thought you were going to bed."

Her son's arms came out to steady her.

"I was, but when I got back to my room I remembered I needed to give you these." In his hand were two letters. Both looked quite aged and had broken seals… and were addressed to her!

"What are these?" She accepted them, puzzled since she couldn't ascertain anything else about them without better light.

"They're still going through Father's things." He explained. "You know what a hoarder he was." The boy smiled wistfully, but Sofia could feel the pain in his voice. His father had been such a huge figure in his life and, despite his attempts to be grown up and Princely, Frederick was still suffering. "Anyway Grandfather said these were found among his correspondence and since they were addressed to you he asked me to bring them."

Sofia put her hand on her son's cheek, letting her thumb rub against his skin soothingly for a few moments.

"Thank you," was all she said, knowing, especially after this afternoon, he wouldn't want her to coddle him… no matter how much he might need it.

"Goodnight." He turned back towards his rooms.

"Goodnight." She echoed, watching him until he was safely through his doors.

Once Freddie was gone Sofia looked between the letters in her hand and the door to Cedric's rooms.

A long sigh escaped her.

It was very possible he wouldn't even let her in. And though she could, she was reluctant to use a transport spell and essentially force him into a confrontation. Despite her ability to convince Cedric into almost anything, she knew from experience no good would come of cornering him.

"Good evening Madam, are you ready for bed?" Sofia's maid bobbed a curtsey when she entered her rooms.

"Hello Schwartz, yes I think I am."

Schwartz was a stodgy woman, grown portly in her old age. She'd been one of Anna-Grete's servants, but now Ann had moved to the country she had no need of a maid. She'd asked Sofia to take Schwartz on, fearing the old woman's brusk nature might make it impossible for her to find employment otherwise.

Though Schwartz wasn't a warm person, she was efficient, discrete, and loyal, all things Sofia prized above the openness so many people feigned in their attempts to win her favor.

"Schwartz, tomorrow I want you to take all the black dresses out of my closet and put them away." Cedric might get a reprieve tonight, but she intended to act soon now he'd given himself away. And when she did she wouldn't be wearing false mourning for another man.

Schwartz gave her a cross look.

"I saw Madam chose a blue travel gown this morning." The maid's voice skated perilously close to open disapproval.

After so many years as a Crown Princess, Sofia thought she should probably be irritated to have a servant take such a tone. But honesty was another thing she prized, had always prized, and she liked that Schwartz gave her opinion when she thought it mattered.

"I did." Sofia replied matter-of-factly.

"Your Highness knows it's custom to mourn for at least a year."

Sofia smiled. It's custom. How many times had Anna-Grete used those words when Sofia was new to court life? She'd given in because of them quite often in the beginning, and yet somewhere along the way the formidable Duchess had sheathed that weapon.

Sofia didn't think she'd grown more traditional with time, so perhaps Anna-Grete had looked at her one day and realized she wasn't a little girl, to be told what to do, anymore.

"Custom can go damn itself. I want them gone."

"As your Highness wishes." The elderly lady curtseyed even as she kept shaking her head.

When she was gone, Sofia shrugged out of the robe Schwartz always insisted in putting on her, picked up the letters, and made her way to the bed.

Once she was comfortable, she held up the first letter. The stationary and handwriting seemed oddly familiar but Sofia couldn't immediately place why. Laying it aside she turned to other. It too was faded, perhaps having been pink when the paper was new. Sofia turned it over to see the lettering on the front and a strangled cry ripped form her throat.

The letter was from her mother!

Her mother who had died nine years ago!

Rage welled up in her then and she had the overwhelming urge to take each of the mourning gowns out of her closet and rip them to shreds with her bare hands.

The bastard!

She'd known since that day at Skjolder he went through her mail. There was never any rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes letters came to her sealed, other times he had obviously apprehended them beforehand and didn't bother trying to hide it. It was merely another of Carl's attempts to make her feel as though he was always standing over her shoulder.

But to withhold a letter from her mother, even after her death, when he knew how broken Sofia had been. She almost felt she should tip her hat to him. He was a true master to make her feel so defeated even from the grave!

"I hope your burning right now!" She whispered into the darkness. Each word coming out slowly, roughly, because she had never wished such a thing on anyone. And once it was said she had a moment of fear. Could the amulet of Avalor hear her from across the many miles that separated them and curse Sofia for such a wish?

Of course nothing happened.

She knew it didn't work that way. And even if it did, Sofia had a feeling, despite its black and white estimation of the world, the amulet would make an exception this once knowing Carl deserved what she'd said and so much worse!

Putting aside her loathing for a man already going to dust, Sofia took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart.

Part of her wanted to rip open her mother's letter and devour every word, no matter how trivial or outdated. But another part held back. The sickness that took her mother had been swift, denying them the opportunity to say goodbye. Now, she held the last new words she would ever have from the woman she still missed every day.

It seemed to precious a gift to devour in mere seconds. Like a hungry child given a cupcake, it would be gone before she really had the chance to savor it.

Giving the letter a kiss, Sofia put it back in her lap and picked up the mystery envelope instead. Opening the warn, plain yellow paper Sofia unfurled the sheets within. There were only two, each filled in on just one side.

The first thing she noticed was the date.

The letter was over fourteen years old!

To be exact it was fourteen years, eight months, and three days old. Sofia knew this precisely, because it was dated on the day before Freddie was born! What could possibly have possessed Carl to withhold such an ancient letter?

Her curiosity peaked, she began to read and found herself lost in a maelstrom of emotions.

Princess Sofia,

As I write these words my husband is rushing to your side.

The Queen, your mother, burst into our chamber this afternoon, frantic. She had just received word you were in labor and things had taken a concerning turn. I assume she came with the intention of asking one, or both of us, to come with her and do what we could to assure your health and the safe delivery of your child.

But I will never know for certain, as she never got the chance to ask.

As soon as he knew you were in danger Cedric became as frantic as the Queen. Dressing in haste, throwing potions, spell books, and whatever ingredients he could lay his hands by, into a bag, and leaving without a word or a backward glance.

If I thought his actions were motivated by his nature as a healer, or even the genuine desire of one friend to come to the aid of another, I would find no fault in his conduct. _As a healer_ , I give you my sincerest wishes for your welfare and your child's.

But I will not be here when my husband returns to have the firsthand account of your labors.

I will not be here because it is neither the compassion of a healer nor the affection of a friend which has compelled him to drop everything and fly to you.

I understood this before I married him, but chose to believe I could conqueror your hold on him as easily as I have battled and won over so many other diseases that seemed to others ungovernable.

Now I see with clarity the hubris of that belief. And have only myself to blame for the pain I feel at this moment and for the many unkind thoughts which have swirled in my brain since that door so unceremoniously closed.

For I believe you to be wholly innocent of the truth.

If I have not been made a complete fool, then allow me now to disabuse you of any illusions.

Your Highness, myhusband is in love with you.

Cedric loves you hopelessly, desperately, and unwaveringly. He has for as long as I've known him. And, knowing him as I do, he will likely continue to do so until his last breath is breathed.

I don't presume to tell you what you should do with this information. But for my part, I can no longer continue on like this. I do not think it a vanity to declare that I cannot live my life as a substitute for, or more likely a distraction from, his true desire.

But whether you chose to act or to remain silent, _please_ treat him gently. You can have no idea how your silence nearly destroyed him. And if you were ever to treat him so again, I would not doubt but that you will break him beyond repair.

With Sincerity,

Lucy Brynn

The papers fluttered to the mattress, dropped from Sofia's now nerveless fingers.

But the words continued to echo in her head.

Cedric loved her.

He'd never loved Lucy! All these years she'd held back from ever asking about their end, thinking it would only cause them both pain to recount what she'd believed was the greatest loss of his life. And it never was.

Cedric was in love with her!

Again, Sofia's mind became a reel of images, memories flashing by one after the other.

Looking back with this new knowledge changed everything! She understood now the excessive emotion he'd displayed the night of Freddie's birth. She remembered his terror that night. The forcefulness she'd never seen from him before.

He'd refused to let her die.

He'd pleaded with her, bullied her, and outright commanded her to live. And now she finally understood….

 _Why wouldn't it end?_

 _The hours seemed to blur together. It had been day, but now there were candles everywhere. The only things she could clearly focus on was the pain. Pain without relief, pain without end, and it was beginning to feel as though it was pain without purpose._

 _Sofia was only dimly aware of the midwife and the doctor, arguing in clipped whispers in the corner of the room, and of Anna-Grete and Elena sitting by her bedside, fanning her and running cool cloths over her forehead after every contraction._

 _She'd tried to throw Elena out when the pains had started becoming more urgent, but the countess had begged to stay. Taking Sofia's hand and looking earnestly into her eyes, she'd declared that despite the things Sofia had seen she was her friend and wanted to help._

 _At the time Sofia had blamed it on the pain, but really she'd felt guilty. Elena had tried several times to speak to her, after the night she'd discovered the affair, but Sofia had staunchly refused._

 _It was the same tactic she'd used against Cedric. Which had resulted only in her own devastation. And even though she knew she needed to grow up, become stronger and wiser in this new world she'd been thrust into, she was shocked to realize she was actually becoming embittered and hard._

 _And so she'd dug down deep and found some of the Sofia she'd been before coming to Freezenberg. Some of the girl who always forgave when she believed an apology sincere. Some of the girl who excelled at turning hostility into friendship. And she'd not only let Elena stay, but had thankfully taken the strength the other woman offered._

 _Except there didn't seem to be any strength left anywhere. And every time she felt another contraction coming she became terrified she couldn't take much more._

 _And then she felt shamed by her fear._

 _Why did she feel like she couldn't do this thing other women spoke of so proudly?_

 _Sofia felt another wave of pain and as with all the others she refused to give in to the desire to scream. She might be afraid, but she was no coward! Rearing up from the pillows, she bit her lip, grunting as Anna-Grete and Elena let her squeeze their hands blue._

 _When it was finally over, she fell back on the pillows, barely aware of the blood she'd drawn, or the way she was smearing it around her mouth with her dry tongue. Each one was bringing her closer and closer to insensibility and yet nothing was happening? Why wasn't the baby coming?_

 _Sofia noticed Elena out of the corner of her eye. She was staring holes in the distant forms of the doctor and midwife, but they ignored her, and so she turned to Anna-Grete. Sofia became aware the two were communicating silently over her head, both of them seeming to agree on something they wouldn't voice._

 _She wanted to ask what they were thinking, why they wouldn't speak, but before she could summon the energy there was a commotion outside her door._

" _You're a lunatic if you think I'll allow him to enter. He's not a doctor, he has no business being in Sofia's chamber, seeing her while she's birthing_ _ **my**_ _child! It's perverse!"_

 _Carl._

 _Her greatest comfort had been his absence during this ordeal._

 _Despite his part in this, however lackluster, it simply wasn't seemly for a husband to be present during the birth of his child. It was a taboo she wouldn't have stood for under different circumstances, but was happy to uphold with him._

" _Prince Carl, my daughter's life is in danger, and our Royal Sorcerer is a gifted healer. If you'd like to see your wife and child alive you'll let us pass."_

 _Sofia whimpered at the sound of her mother's voice. The words hadn't really registered. Nothing did except for the primal need to have the person who could make it better beside her._

 _With everything in her she tried to sit up, but Anna-Grete pushed her gently back._

" _Don't waste your strength child." She cooed, petting Sofia's sweaty brow, before looking over her head again. "Elena open the door!"_

 _Sofia heard steps and then the sounds of the doors parting, and then nothing._

 _Another contraction rocked through her and the pain forced her upright. Without Elena's hand her right arm flailed and her concentration wavered and for the first time since all this began she shut her eyes tightly and screamed._

 _When it subsided, Sofia eyes fluttered and she tried to apologize for her outburst. That's when she realized there were_ _ **three**_ _figures in the doorway. Carl, her mother, and…Cedric!_

 _Her mother was toe to toe with her husband, not allowing Carl to get around her and grab the thinner man. But Cedric didn't seem to notice, he was completely fixated on her, his eyes wide with shock, his face draining of color. Then something in him seemed to come to life and he snapped around with more presence than she'd ever seen from him before._

 _Pulling out his wand he pointed it at Carl._

" _Sonambula," he commanded sharply._

 _Carl had a single moment to look righteously outraged before collapsing in a heap at her mother's feet._

" _Thank you Cedric," her mother said, looking down on the sleeping prince with disdain._

 _Cedric didn't bother to answer, instead he rushed to her, climbing onto the side of the bed Elena had vacated. Kneeling over her he took her hand in one of his and molded the other to her jaw, softly turning her to face him._

 _Sofia smiled weakly._

" _Are you really here?"_

" _Of course I am. I can't let you…" Cedric swallowed hard, as though something were stuck in his throat, "I wouldn't let you go through this alone."_

 _She looked up at him with wide, tremulous eyes._

" _I think I could use the help of the greatest sorcerer in the universe."_

 _She thought Cedric might have laughed, but the pain began to crest again and whatever reaction he was having stopped abruptly as she nearly broke his hand. He didn't pull away though, instead he endured it, and used his other to rub her neck and shoulder soothingly._

 _Falling back on the pillows she looked at him, drained and embarrassed to behave so in his presence._

 _But there was no reproach in his eyes. Instead he bent and kissed her forehead._

 _Miranda came to her other side and Sofia let herself sob a little as her mother embraced her._

" _Mom, what's wrong?" She asked, after a moment. "No one will tell me, but I know something is wrong."_

" _Tell her." Her mother ordered looking at the doctor._

" _Your Highness, your baby is in the wrong position, he's feet first. When I examined you last I thought nothing of it. I believed there was still plenty of time for him to move. But now…. He's also facing towards your back which is why your pains are so intense."_

 _It was Sofia's turn to swallow hard. What the doctor said was frightening, but it still didn't account for the way Anna-Grete and Elena had been acting._

" _There's something else."_

 _The doctor grimaced._

" _Highness, time is of the essence. The child's heartbeat has become erratic. I'm going to try to manually turn him so that he's head down, but if I can't…," his look turned sorrowful, "Madam, my duty to Freezenberg is clear. The child's life must be my first priority. If it comes to it, I won't have a choice but to cut the babe out."_

" _Get out!" Cedric's words were growled and Sofia realized he wasn't beside her any longer._

 _He was at the foot of the bed holding his wand to the doctor's throat, looking every bit the terrifying black mage he'd once dreamed of being._

" _I have no choice!" The doctor defended, his voice quivering slightly as he lifted his hands in a sign of defenselessness._

" _Are you also willing to let the Princess die…for the good of Freezenberg?" Cedric spit the words at the midwife, who was cowering just behind the doctor._

" _I lost my own mother and older sister to childbed. It's why I became a midwife. To try and keep as many babies and their mothers' alive as I could."_

" _And you can turn the child?"_

 _The midwife's face became confident. "Of course."_

 _Cedric nodded before turning back to the doctor, using the same spell on him as he had on Carl. Once Anna-Grete and Elena had dragged him to lay next her husband, Cedric came back to her side._

" _Sofia, I'm going to use a spell to try and ease the pain. To do it, I have to be touching you. I could give you any number of potions, but they would leave you muddled and we need you in your right mind."_

 _Sofia watched the midwife roll up her sleeves and begin washing her hands and arms to her elbows._

" _Cedric, I need to tell you…"_

 _He tried to stop her with a finger over her lips and a pleading look, "Sofia don't, we're past all that."_

 _She only grabbed his hand and kissed it._

" _Please, if I really might…. I have to say it."_

 _He became angry all of the sudden._

" _Don't!" He snapped, startling her. "I don't want to hear it."_

 _Sofia crumpled under the hardness of his gaze._

" _Won't you ever let me make it right?"_

 _Both of his hands cupped her face now, and his look morphed into something fierce and desperate._

" _I don't want to hear it, because it's not about making it right. You want me to absolve you so you can move on with a clear conscience. Well I won't._ _There are things on both sides that have been left unsaid Sofia. So you'll just have to live."_

" _But, if I don't."_

 _His voice took on the icy edge of command now._

" _I have never released you, child. That means you are still my Apprentice and I am still your Master. That means my word is_ _ **your**_ _law!_ _ **You. Will. Not. Die!**_ _You will endure as you must. You will fight as you always have. And I swear to you, you will hold your child,_ _ **alive**_ _, when all this is over!"_

" _There is not much time. We have to do this now, master sorcerer." The midwife broke into a world that had shrunk down to just the two of them._

 _Releasing her face, Cedric knelt once more at her side as the midwife lifted her nightgown, revealing the entire bottom half of her._

" _Hold her legs." The midwife instructed Elena and Anna-Grete. "Majesty, hold her hand."_

 _Her mother clasped her hand firmly as Cedric and midwife shared a look between them. Then he placed his hands on either side of her swollen belly and began speaking._

" _Nihil Sentire," he chanted over and over._

 _Cedric's eyes closed in concentration and after a moment Sofia began to feel a kind of numbness. It was blissful after so many hours of pain. So blissful she nearly gasped when the midwife started her part of the task._

 _One hand went to the outside of her stomach, but the other delved far inside her, manipulating the baby, slowly moving it._

 _Sofia felt a kind of queasy horror at the sight, and chose to concentrate on Cedric instead. Watching him as he focused every ounce of his being on sparing her what she could only guess would have been a near unimaginable agony._

 _Ten minutes later the midwife had finished._

" _The child is head down, but not descend."_

 _Cedric stopped chanting and before he could even open his eyes Sofia was rocked by another contraction._

 _He looked guilt stricken as he took her hand._

" _I can help with that too." Cedric answered, before turning to her and lifting their entwined fingers._

 _He held them to his chest, and looked at her with earnest remorse._

" _You have to bear the pain from here. I can help, but I fear it will hurt more for going faster. I'm sorry."_

 _She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "It's alright. I can do it."_

 _He brought her hand to his lips before putting it down and placing his own back on her belly, starting a new chant._

 _He was right, the pain became even worse than before, but after a while the midwife's eyes widened and she looked up at Sofia._

" _The next time you feel a contraction you must bear down hard. Do you understand Highness?"_

 _Sofia nodded and gripped her mother's hand tightly._

 _The next pain came all to quickly and Sofia did as she was told, pushing with all her might. And she continued to push through the next several, screaming out, no longer caring who heard her or what they thought._

" _One last time your highness and your child will be here!"_

 _Sofia gathered her courage, giving the very last of her strength to a final hard effort, feeling as though she were being ripped apart by it. Then she fell back exhausted and hurting, only to realize the room had gone silent._

 _All eyes moved to the midwife, who was working hastily. The silence continued on joined by a thread of tension._

 _Then a shrill cry rent the air._

 _Cedric, her mother, Anna-Grete, and Elena all smiled with a mixture of relief and happiness and Sofia began to sob gratefully._

 _In her euphoria she didn't even try to disguise her emotions. Turning to Cedric she threw her arms around him, feeling something like paradise when he returned her embrace wholeheartedly._

 _Until the midwife handed the baby to her mother and pulled Cedric from her._

" _She's bleeding. It's not just the tearing."_

 _Sofia felt fear rising like a wave and saw the same emotion cross Cedric's face._

 _He rose with calm determination and crossed the room to his bag. But as he riffled through it, pulling out potion after potion, Sofia saw his hands had begun to tremble._

 _She was beginning to feel slightly woozy and her vision was blurring when he came back to her side holding three small vials._

" _Bring me a cup," He ordered Elena._

 _The countess was to the small table by the window and back in a shot, handing him a half-drunk teacup._

 _Cedric dumped the cold tea onto the expensive Wei-Lingese rug at his feet and began mixing potions into it._

" _Cedric…." Sofia blinked, not sure why she was having trouble seeing him._

" _Drink this, drink it now." His voice was close to her and Sofia felt herself being lifted._

 _Then there was something at her lips, it was bitter and smelled terrible, and she was sure she knew what ingredient was making it stink so, but the name seemed just beyond her reach._

" _Damn you Sofia, you have to drink it all!" Cedric was yelling now._

 _Why did it seem like all he did lately was yell at her? How could she be so in love with such a grouch? She had half a mind to tell him so._

" _You're a huge asshole sometimes you know that!" She breathed, swallowing the last of the disgusting drink._

 _Sofia opened her eyes and the world seemed to come back into focus. She found herself wrapped in Cedric's arms, her face pressed into his chest as he stroked a hand through her sweaty hair._

" _It's stopped!" The midwife's voice was awed._

" _As long as you live, you can call me whatever like… you little brat." He sneered at her teasingly and she smiled in return, nuzzling her face into his bowtie._

" _Your bow is crooked?" Was all she could think to say._

" _I was in a bit of a rush when I tied it."_

" _Sofia would you like to meet your son?" Her mother asked._

 _Sofia turned and saw a squirming bundle in her mother's arms._

" _It's a boy?" She asked awed by the sight of a bald little head._

 _Her mother nodded._

" _And he's alright?" She asked as she held out her hands for him._

" _He's perfect, and very hungry." Her mother laughed._

 _Miranda put the little one in Sofia's arms and once he was settled, she took the strings of Sofia's nightgown and pulled them until they unraveled. Her mother parted her gown, so her left side was exposed and helped her situate her son just right._

" _Typical man," Elena laughed as they all watched the new Prince latch onto his mother's breast like a champion._

 _Sofia was entranced. He was so perfect, so small and beautiful. Turning to Cedric she found him staring openly, a bright blush painting his cheeks. The urge to blurt out how much she loved him was nearly overwhelming._

" _You saved us." She said instead, letting her head lull onto his shoulder._

 _She felt his hand still working its way gently through her hair._

" _You're my dearest friend," he whispered, "did you think I'd let anything happen to you?"_

 _Sofia closed her eyes suddenly content with the world in a way she'd never expected to be again. He really had forgiven her. For now, just knowing that was enough. The words could wait for another time._

" _Ughn," the groan shattered the joyous peace that had settled over the room and everyone turned to watch as Carl rose to his feet, holding his head in his hands._

 _He looked at the doctor, confused, and then at Cedric, eyes going wide with rage as he began moving. But before he reached the bed Elena was in front of him, her little hands on his chest, a mouse trying to overpower a lion._

" _Get out of my way!" He roared._

" _Carl no! Carl, listen to me!" She begged only to have him grab her wrist._

 _For a single horrifying moment Sofia was sure he was going to fling Elena across the room, but then she called his name again and he seemed to come too, as though he hadn't realized who was touching him. Sofia had never seen him be truly kind to anyone, never seen him back down when he was incensed. But he did now, dropping Elena's hand and looking at her with something Sofia thought might be remorse._

 _Whatever passed between them passed silently, but her husband seemed to calm enough to walk to the foot of her bed like a human being._

 _Despite the change in his demeanor she could feel Cedric tense behind her. She knew he wasn't the bravest of men, and so she was shocked when, instead of standing away from her, his hands gripped her shoulders ever tighter, pulling her closer, ready to protect her from the bigger man._

" _Your highness, you have a son and Freezenberg has a prince." She said, her voice stronger than she felt._

" _A son!" Carl's expression changed again._

 _He stared at the child at her breast for a long moment and then he looked up at her and spoke proudly._

" _Well done." He said, surprising her. "We'll call him…."_

 _She cut him off without a second thought._

" _Frederick. His name is Frederick."_

 _The color drained from her husband's face and his eyes immediately shifted back to the man beside her._

" _He saved them both." Anna-Grete's voice broke through the morass of barely concealed aggression that once again permeated the room._

 _And then Elena was beside him, her hand going to his chest once more._

" _Let it be." She said, and Sofia realized the countess was pushing Carl back. "For once, let it be."_

 _Sofia watched her husband swallow down his temper for the second time tonight._

" _Frederick, it's a good Freezenberger name." He said stiffly. "Frederick Carl. A good, princely, Freezenberger name._

 _He looked down at Elena, still angry, but following when she took his hand and led him from the room. Her lady in waiting looked back at the door, but Sofia couldn't read her expression._

" _I thought…I thought you loved each other." Cedric's voice was soft, and Sofia was sure no one else had heard him._

 _They'd all moved away, giving her this one precious moment of unexpected privacy with her son and her sorcerer._

" _I hate him and he hates me." She answered, looking down at her son, marveling at how her feelings for her child could be so wholly opposite to her feelings for his father._

 _Cedric's forehead fell onto her shoulder and she turned to him, their faces mere centimeters apart._

" _You shouldn't name him…after me. Even if he accepted it tonight he'll make you pay for it later."_

" _I don't care." She wanted so badly to lean forward that last little bit and press her lips to his. "You saved his life. If I'd given him your exact name it would have been nothing but the proper honor. If I'd chosen to name him after the doctor Carl wouldn't have made an objection. It's just that it's you that makes him angry."_

" _I don't seem to do well with royalty do I?" He smiled, softly._

" _You don't do well with fools." She looked down at her new love. "Help me teach him to be better than his father?"_

" _I will do my best to watch over him always."_

 _Her sorcerer lifted a single finger to stroke against the newborn prince's soft head and Sofia heard the baby gurgle._

 _Lifting the now sleeping bundle off her breast she turned and put him in Cedric's arms._

 _Her sorcerer looked completely abashed at first, but then smiled down at the baby and cradled him like he'd been holding babies for years._

 _Closing her nightgown, she turned and snuggled into his side._

 _Just for tonight she would let herself have her long ago fantasy._

 _The three of them on a little bed, her exhausted, the both of them elated as they held a new life between them…._

With trembling fingers Sofia picked up her mother's letter, hoping there might be some reassuring words of wisdom to quiet the storm that had churned up inside her. Because she felt sure if something didn't help, she'd never feel peaceful again.

My Sofia,

I'm so sorry I can't write these words to you myself, but the energy to pick up a pen seems already beyond me. So I've asked Suzette to be my hand.

My beautiful little girl. Before it's too late I want to tell you one last time how much I love you and how proud I am of the woman you've become.

You know titles mean as little to me as they do to you and so I want to tell you plainly, my pride is not in your title or in your future as a Queen, but in you Sofia. In your heart which beats so strongly with love for everyone, and in your soul which always strives to help those who can't help themselves.

You are, beyond a shadow of doubt, your father's daughter. And if Birk were still alive he would be as proud of you as I am.

But beyond saying I love you, which I hope you've always known. I have a confession to make. One I feel ashamed I never made in person.

Sofia I lied to you.

Or rather I kept something from you. Something so big the withholding was as good as a lie. I did it because, at the time, I wanted to spare you pain. I thought it was crueler to tell you a truth that couldn't be acted on than to keep you in ignorance. But you aren't a little girl anymore, and it wasn't my place to decide what you should know or not.

Sofia your feelings were never unrequited. Cedric loves you!

I didn't always know. But when you asked me to help him, after the two of you had fallen out, it became so clear. No man could suffer so tragically, so silently, for anything but love.

To this day when I think of the shade of a man who sat across from me at tea all those years ago, all I can think of is that driftwood in the tide.

I told you not build your life on love's foundation, but I'm afraid you thought I meant you shouldn't love at all. You are a mother, and a Princess. One day you'll be a Queen. You are a strong, brilliant, and talented woman with a heart as great as the sea your father loved so much. And where I would still tell another person not to follow their heart into a gale, as you surely must loving one man while married to another, I know now _you_ can weather whatever storm comes your way.

If I don't see you again, know that you would never disappoint me by taking the happiness life offers.

I will always love you and will always be watching over you my sweet girl!

Your loving mother,

Miranda.

Sofia read the words over and over again, until her tears threatened to damage the letter irrevocably. She wanted to feel betrayed, she wanted to feel angry, but she couldn't.

Her mother had been human, and flawed, like every other person who had ever drawn breath, but nothing could overshadow the love Sofia felt in every line.

Her rage was for her husband, who'd stolen these letters and the knowledge contained within as easily and remorselessly as he'd stolen her hopes and dreams!

Sofia hadn't realized how loudly or violently she'd been crying, or that she was holding herself and rocking slowly back and forth among the scattered papers until the doors to her bedroom where thrown wide. Standing in the frame was a half-naked sorcerer in nothing but sleep pants. His wand was at the ready, as though he believed Sofia was being attacked.

She watched for a single, tear blurry moment, as he scanned the room confused, looking for the cause of her distress and finding nothing.

Then his eyes came to rest on her, taking in the mess on the bed and her tear streaked, nearly demented face.

And he rushed to her.

"In Merlin's name, Sofia, are you h…?" He never got the chance to finish because she flung herself at him.

Their bodies collided, limbs tangling as he fought to keep them upright.

"Cedric!" There was so much she had to say.

But looking at him, feeling him warm and practically naked against her, the words stuck in her throat. So she let instinct guide her, plunging her hands into hair and gripping the back of his neck.

"Sofia?" He still seemed befuddled.

So she dragged his mouth down to hers.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I've had this chapter written for almost a week but, despite trying every single day, today was the first time I was able to read through the whole thing without interruption! Kids…gotta love em!**

 **Oh, and thank you so much to everyone who's been kind enough to leave a review! I heart you all BIG TIME!**

 **9.**

Cedric's wand dropped to the floor with a clatter as Sofia devoured his lips with ravenous kisses and desperate bites, teasing her tongue along the seam, begging him to let her in. Instead she was left to want when his hands clamped around her arms, pushing her away.

Her head tilted back, eyes opening to see consternation written all over his features.

"Wh… what are you do…doing?" He stumbled over his words as though the concept of language had suddenly become foreign to him. "I thought…What about your young…."

He stopped trying to speak when she laid her palms against his chest, feeling the warm smoothness of his skin, the play of muscle over the bones beneath. Marveling at the construction of him, so thrillingly different from anyone else.

Her eyes wanted to close against the onslaught of desire. Instead she stared straight into the vortex of emotions playing behind his.

"There is no young man." Her voice was soft.

"What?" He gapped at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"There is no other man." Her voice was stronger this time.

"But…Freddie, he…he said…."

"There's only you."

His grip on her loosened, and though he continued to stare, Sofia could tell he wasn't really seeing her anymore. Cedric was lost inside himself, as she'd been earlier.

"That's…that's not possible." He resisted it, letting go of one of her arms to rake a hand through his hair, sending it spiking in odd directions.

Seizing the moment, Sofia cupped his cheek, bringing him back to her.

"Cedric, _you're_ the man who makes my whole being tremble."

His gaze bored into hers, forceful and intense, searing away her layers, trying to see the truth beneath her surface.

"I only ever wanted you. I love _only_ you!" She watched as everything he thought he knew fell away before this new truth, his expression slowly morphing into one of pure astonishment.

She would have said more, but she could only manage a quick breath before he hauled her back against him.

Arms snaked around her back, fingers digging into her shoulder blades as he crushed their mouths together once more.

Sofia's hands moved to his shoulders, around his back, one returning to his hair, refusing to let him part from her again. The other slipped down, nails raking over his spine.

This time when he felt her tongue against his lips, he didn't resist. His mouth opened to her on a whimper, his tongue meeting hers, letting them slide against each other, allowing her inside before chasing her back to claim a taste of his own.

"Say it again," he whispered raggedly as he nipped at her bottom lip.

"I love you, only you." She whispered back, feeling roaming hands wander down to grasp her bottom.

He began gathering her nightgown, bunching the hem hastily, a shudder running through him as he slipped beneath the thin layer to find nothing underneath but soft, yielding flesh.

Her breath hitched as he began to draw patterns over her skin, touching her everywhere those hands could reach. They swept up her back and dragged back down, skated over her sides to trace her ribs, brushed the swells of her breasts, molded themselves to the curves of her hips, before returning to her bottom to slip into the cleft, their tips brushing the curls that hid her sex.

Sofia couldn't remember ever being so aroused by so little, but she was already trembling, needing desperately to return his caresses before they simply burned her up.

Her forehead fell forward and she began pressing hungry kisses to Cedric's chest, tracing the outlines of the astrological symbols etched there in dark ink. She'd seen them before, once, under very different circumstances, and they'd haunted her fantasies ever since.

Letting her tongue dart out, she tasted them, dragging a wet path along their contours, letting them bring her to his nipple so she could outline the tiny, dark circle with her tongue.

"Sofia!" Her name sounded as though it had been ripped from him.

"Cedric," she answered, just before she felt his fingers open her.

She clung to him as he began to delve inside her. And then words were beyond her, so she encouraged him by wrapping her lips around his nipple and sucking greedily.

He bucked against her, and of its own will, one of her hands came round, teasing its way down his chest and into his pants.

He was searingly hot and steel hard as she wrapped her fingers around him. Sofia's eyes closed as she worked her fist up and down his length, imagining how good it would feel when she finally took him inside her.

The minutes passed as they rocked against each other, clinging together, letting the pleasure escalate. Cedric seemed lost to it, but Sofia had dreamed of this moment for too long to let it end so soon. With a last caress she let him slip from her hand and pulled away.

Cedric's eye flew open, uncertainty clouding their depths, only to melt away when she gathered her gown and pulled it over her head, carelessly tossing the expensive silk to the floor.

At first she watched with excitement as his gaze slid over her. His eyes moving over the places he'd just touched with such intensity it made her feel as though he were touching them all over again. But eventually insecurity began to take hold as the minutes passed and he just stood there, continuing to stare.

She knew others had considered her pleasing, had found her body desirable, but none of them were him, none of them had mattered. What if he'd been imagining her as the maid she'd been all those years ago instead of the woman she was now? What if he was disappointed with the changes time had wrought?

Sofia swallowed hard, screwing her courage.

"Say something." Her voice sounded pleading even to her own ears.

Another beat passed in silent stillness and then Cedric fell to his knees, tilting his head to stare up at her, eyes wide with awe and hunger.

"I don't have words," he whispered, "you're _so_ beautiful!"

A smile lit her face, relief, and happiness, and such desperate need swirling inside her.

"Those are pretty good," she laughed softly.

She gripped his shoulders, lifting him back to his feet, and as she did, he pulled her against him again, but more gently this time. When his mouth touched hers, there was an air of veneration to his kiss, and Sofia melted into it, kissing him back with the same reverence.

"I love you," he declared fervently as his lips traveled to her jaw and down the column of her neck. "I've always loved you!"

A sob escaped her, something like joy at hearing the words she'd always longed for, but also like anguish for all the time they'd wasted.

"I know now," She clutched at him desperately, "I know that _now_."

"Let me show you," he begged, his tongue dipping into the hollow of her throat. "Let me love you, please you, worship you."

This time she was the one left without words and so Sofia nodded, letting the squeeze of her fingers attest to her eagerness.

She was puzzled when he began to move her backwards, but went willingly until she felt one of the posts of the bed against her back.

Cedric leaned her against it, letting his eyes sweep over her one more time before burying his head back into her neck, grazing his teeth along the column.

Sofia's hands left his body, gripping the wood behind her, giving him freedom to do with her body as he pleased.

He grasped her hips tightly, holding her still, or holding her up, she wasn't truly sure, as his mouth moved lower.

"So beautiful," he breathed just a beat before he began showering her breasts with openmouthed kisses.

She moaned as she felt his long nose nuzzle a nipple.

Then it was between his teeth, being worked mercilessly as she began to writhe, trapped so willingly between him and the bed.

He lavished her breasts with single minded adoration for what felt like hours, stirring her into a frenzy.

"Please, please," she didn't know when she'd started chanting the word, begging him shamelessly, but she knew when it stopped. When he went to his knees again and gently pressed her to turn around.

Sofia obeyed, turning to rest her flushed cheek on the cool wood, holding fast to it with a white knuckled grip as she felt him adjust her, pushing lightly on her lower back until her bottom jutted out, then running his fingers in teasing tickles down her thighs till she parted them.

His breath ghosted warm over her damp curls, palms skating back up her thighs until he was cupping the cheeks of her bottom, spreading them wide.

His name tore from her mouth as she felt his tongue sweep from her entrance up to her now tender, bud, and back again.

"Yes!" She breathed, as he did it again and then again.

He squeezed her ass on each pass and it took only an embarrassingly short while to have her bucking against his face, riding his tongue as he learned her most secret places.

"Your fingers," her voice was raspy, as though she were dying of thirst, "please, Cedric, I need them." She begged.

He said nothing, but she felt his mouth turn up into a smile. And then they were there, circling her entrance as he latched onto her clit, beginning to suck in earnest. A move of her hips and they were in her, pumping wetly in and out.

Turning her head to cool her other cheek, Sofia caught sight of them in the huge mirror across the room. She was stunned to see how her fantasies paled in comparison to reality. The sight of him on his knees, face moving against her as he delighted in her taste. The sight of herself, all but bent over, arms stretched taught above her head, face pressed to the bedpost.

She watched, entranced, as she reached behind her, gripping the back of his head as her whole body began to rock back and forth, her breasts swaying to the rhythm. The images melded with the decadent sensation of his touches and brought her to her breaking point.

Stars began to burst on the edges of her vision. Her other senses blinked in and out. Sofia thought she called out, but she didn't know because she was falling, her release washing over her in intense, nearly unbearable waves.

It wasn't until she felt Cedric pull her back against him that she realized the whole world hadn't exploded in a burst of bright, blinding light.

"Sofia." He was kissing her neck softly, his hands rubbing up and down her arms.

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." She sobbed over and over again.

Her head lulled onto his shoulder as he held her fast, and she looked up at him with wide, pleasure drunk eyes.

His hair was a mess, his eyes hooded, his mouth and chin wet from her. The sight sent desire rushing through her anew, and she turned with renewed energy to grasp his arms, guiding him to the side of the bed.

She tipped her face up to his, asking permission with a single look, before hooking her fingers into the waist of his pants and pushing them down.

They puddled at his feet and he kicked them away, standing still again, letting her see all of him for the very first time.

But where she had been unsure of his thoughts, he seemed to want to pre-empt hers.

"It's nothing special, I know…."

His steadfast belief in his own inadequacy never failed to prick her.

If only she could make him see himself the way she did. The years had only made him more in her eyes, not less, more powerful, more honorable, more striking, and most especially more enticing.

"Do you know how many times I've dreamed of this?" She asked moving closer, running her hands all over him.

"I never believed you could dream of me at all." The sadness of his words made her heart constrict all the more.

"I did, I do, all the time. And you've put them to shame." She breathed the last against his lips before sealing her mouth over his.

He clutched at her but she wouldn't let him hold her for long. Instead she began to slip down his body, tracing her lips over his chest again, licking the line that ran down the center of his stomach, nipping at the trail of hair that led to his groin, smiling against his skin when her touch raised prickles.

And then she reached out, grasping his hard cock and bringing it to her lips.

She looked up, capturing his gaze as she laid a gentle kiss to his tip, painting her lips with the leaking drops of his essence before darting her tongue out to taste him.

His chest rumbled with a deep groan and his hands came up, sweeping back her hair.

"I've never wanted anyone or anything more." She whispered.

And then she took him in her mouth.

It was Sofia's turn to moan as she felt the velvety soft skin over the hardness beneath. He tasted sweet and forbidden like everything denied to her all these years, and it sent tendrils of heat slithering through her, all pooling between her thighs.

Cedric's eyes slammed shut, his head falling back, as the hands in her hair tightened. With each bob of her head she felt his arms and legs trembling with effort, and knew he wanted to move. She knew he wanted to thrust himself as far down her throat as he could, until he emptied everything he had inside her.

But her didn't.

Instead he stayed perfectly still, giving her the power, letting her have her way with him.

It made her want to please him all the more and so she brought her fingers to his base, caressing back into the shadowy territory beyond, making him gasp with dark delight.

But when she felt his erection begin to throb between her lips she knew she needed to stop. She let him go with a wet pop, and for a moment he seemed to hang there, suspended on the threads of pleasure.

Sofia used the opportunity to gently push him back, watching as he fell on the bed, eyes opening, wide and dark, with unfulfilled lust.

"Next time I won't stop." She whispered as she climbed on top of him.

"I'm going to hold you to that." He said, still somewhat dazed as she straddled his hips. "I can't believe this is truly happening,"

"Then watch," she said, lifting a hand to Cedric's cheek, turning his face in the direction of the mirror.

He made a strangled sounding cry as he caught their reflection, just as she lifted up, positioning him at her entrance.

"Fuck!" He groaned as she sank down on him. "You feel so…"

"Good," she finished for them both, thinking it too meager a word to describe what it was like being full of him.

"You're mine now. You know that don't you?" She found herself asking.

"I've always been yours, didn't you know that?" He countered, turning back to face her, something deeply sorrowful crossing his face.

"No. I was a stupid fool!" Her gaze drifted over to the scattered letters that still littered the pillows.

"We both were." He answered back, reaching up to cup her cheek, bringing her eyes back to his.

"Never again," she vowed, lifting up.

"Never again," he echoed, pressing her back down.

Leaning over, Sofia laid her cheek against his, turning them both back to the sight of their joined bodies.

They watched intently as she began to move on him, and after a moment he joined her, making her shiver at the sight and feel of him thrusting up as she came down.

"It's so good. It's so good." She found herself chanting in time to their rhythm, wanting him to know how exquisite he felt.

Eventually the pleasure became too intense, her need to urgent, and she reared up, sitting astride him as she began to move faster.

He watched her ride him with dark, passion drugged eyes. "You have no idea how many times I've imagined you like this!"

He turned back to her then, the mirror forgotten, and reached up. His hands caressed her breasts and all her senses began to focus, filtering out everything but the pleasure growing inside her.

"Cedric!"

He answered her cry by plucking at her nipples, sending jolts of pleasure careening through her body, causing her to collapse on his chest as she came apart.

Arms went tight around her as Cedric began pumping wildly into her trembling body, rhythm forgotten in the need to reach his release. A handful of hard strokes was all it took, and she felt him erupt, jetting hot and quick into her as he muffled his cries in the bend of her neck.

Then there was silence, long minutes passing by as they panted through the aftershocks, bodies stilling and calming.

Finally Sofia felt in control of herself enough to move, sure she was crushing Cedric with her weight.

"No," he breathed, tightening the hold on her that had gone slack when he'd come.

"There's a whole lot more bed," she laughed, looking up at him as much as his embrace would allow. "You don't have to sleep with your legs hanging off the side."

"I don't care about that," he hugged her even tighter. "I don't want to let you go." His words held a forlorn earnestness.

"What if I promise never to go again?" She offered, kissing the bands of ink around his arm, which she saw now where incantations.

He shook his head.

"It wasn't your fault. You had to go because I wouldn't hold on to you. All of this, from the beginning, was my fault for letting you go. I'll never make that mistake again." His face nuzzled into her hair and she smiled.

"Well if you want to try to spend the next five decades inside me, I'm not going to argue. Though the King may have an objection or two when I go to see him tomorrow."

That got a snort.

His arms slackened and Sofia lifted up, groaning slightly as he slipped from inside her.

Crawling to the pillows, she gathered her mother's letter, folding it carefully and tucking it safely in her bedside table. The other she left out.

Cedric came up behind her, pulling back the covers and helping her settle before getting in beside her. A few seconds of arranging themselves and she lay on her back, pressed firmly into his side, her head under his chin. He threw one of his legs over hers, one hands stroking her stomach and chest as the other burrowed under her pillow.

"How long have you loved me?" She asked after a long while of just enjoying the play of his fingertips over her.

"Forever," he answered as his hand squeezed her hip.

Sofia's head tilted to the side. "How long?"

He sighed.

"I hardly know anymore. Not since the beginning of course, but I'd already loved you for years the day you told me you were marrying…you were going to Freezenberg."

"I've loved you just as long."

He kissed he hair sweetly.

"Cedric, why didn't you ever say anything?"

That elicited a bitter laugh.

"I believed there was nothing to say. You were a girl, so young and beautiful. Filled with such optimism and eagerness for life's coming adventures. And I was already a grown man. A bitter, cynical, hobgoblin haunting a tower. I believed my feelings were hopeless. After all, if it wasn't for my magic you wouldn't have ever even noticed I was alive."

"That's not true." She turned and kissed his shoulder, passionately. "I never saw you that way. And even though it was magic that brought us together, it was _you_ Cedric, every brilliant, guarded, precious part of you that made me fall in love."

"Then why didn't _you_ ever say anything?"

Sofia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He hadn't understood what she was truly asking that day.

"I tried, in a way. I didn't come to you that day hoping you'd help me disappear, Cedric. I came hoping you'd run away with me."

His eyes went wide with disbelief.

"But when you seemed so happy about the whole thing, I thought it was obvious you didn't feel for me the way I felt for you. I thought you still saw me as the annoying little girl who interrupted your work and pestered you for favors. And I shut you out, and hurt us both, because I was nineteen and scared and wounded… and angry. _And then you married her._ And I spent the last decade and half thinking you were longing for her, believing I could never have you because your love for her was always there, in the shadows, forbidding it."

Cedric's arm tightened around her, his head dipping to kiss her shoulder.

"I married her in a delusional attempt to try and move on from you. As much as I yearned for your love I was content as long as I had you in _some way_ , but then you…turned from me, and I found myself so lost in the darkness, I thought it swallow me. I'd spent so much time happily wrapped up in you, I thought the answer was to wrap myself in someone else. That I could force myself to be happy. But it was a disaster. The only thing I felt when she left was…relief."

"I know…now. I know and I'm so sorry!"

"What happened tonight Sofia? What made you cry? It couldn't have been my words in the library."

She turned to the table, grabbing Lucy's letter, handing it to him silently.

He lifted to rest his weight on a forearm, scanning the lines quickly.

"Merlin's mushrooms."

"Freddie brought it to me tonight. They found it in Carl's things. He intercepted this, probably as you were fighting to save Freddie and I from dying, and he kept it all these years, to keep me from knowing the truth. He kept a letter from my mother too. Her dying words to me, because she knew. All the time we've wasted because we were too afraid to believe possible what everyone else saw so clearly.

So no more doubting Cedric. I don't care about our age difference. I don't care what titles you do or don't have. I don't care what other people think of you. I don't even care what _you_ think of you. I love you and I will not waste the next five decades like we wasted the last two."

"You're being a bit optimistic about my longevity don't you think?"

Sofia shook her head.

"Your father is pushing ninety without any signs of slowing down."

Cedric snorted.

"Well of course, how can he continue being so vocally disappointed in all his many offspring if he keels over and dies?"

"Well, you'll just have to find something to be similarly disgruntled about. I refused to let you die once, I'll do it again if I have to!"

"As if I would ever disobey my princess." He whispered against her lips before taking her in a heated, possessive kiss, clutching at the back of her neck and sliding his hand up her ribs to fondle her breast.

Sofia responded with a whimper, startled to realize she was already eager for him again.

"Well there you have it." She breathed between kisses. "I command you to stay by my side, _to stay_ _in my bed_ , forever."

Sofia began caressing his chest, moving down his stomach until her hand disappeared beneath the sheets.

"I want to," he answered, eyes closing. "But can you truly be content, even though it can never be more than that?"

Her hand stilled and his eyes opened, sorrow staining their dark warmth.

"What do you mean?"

His head dropped, as though defeated. "Sofia…I'm still married."

Her hand dropped from him and she felt the world tilt sideways.

"What?"

He kissed her forehead, and despite her shock she clung to him, terrified he'd somehow be ripped away.

"I told you, your father has never done anything but maintain the status quo. Divorce is still illegal in Enchancia. I haven't seen or talked to her in fourteen years, but it makes no difference." He fell back on the bed, pushing both hands through his hair. "Out of a life of so many mistakes, if I could take back just one of them..."

Sofia lay still beside him, letting his words settle.

"Sofia?"

Turning on her side, she raised a hand to brush his cheek, looking at him earnestly.

"You love me?" She asked again.

Cedric's hand gripped the back of her neck, pulling her on top of him.

"Only you, until I draw my last breath." He kissed her, hard, with everything in him.

"And you'll stay here with me? Live with me?"

His face went into her hair now, his lips against her throat.

"Of course. I told you I wasn't ever going to let you go again, but Sofia, if we can't marry than no one can know. We'll have to hide."

She nodded, tightening her hold on him.

"Not completely. The people I'd bring here, like Anna-Grete…she already knows I love you, she's known for years. But outside this house yes. We'd have to be…discrete." Sofia shrugged. "I guess my words were truer than I thought. I'm done with marriage and princes and dukes and all that." She took his head from her neck so they could see each other. "But I've only just started with you!"

He smiled, but there was a wariness in his eyes.

"Are you sure? This was never how I wanted it between us."

Sofia nodded.

"I don't need you to marry me, Cedric. I hate that after everything we still can't be together openly, but as long as you love me, as long as we can be together without Carl or Lucy or anyone else in the way, that's all I want. That's more than I ever thought possible."

He looked up at her then, cupping her face in his hands.

"I'm yours Sofia, I always was, and I always will be. Though you may come to regret it."

She smiled at him, even as a single tear slipped from her eye.

"I could never regret you."


End file.
